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Earning thanks

In past posts, I’ve written about how to live in gratitude and express your thankfulness to others. Gratitude can make an enormous difference in your outlook on life, your motivation, and even your health…but what if others are not returning the favor? What if you feel that your co-workers, boss, or family members are constantly failing to recognize your contributions?

That lack of appreciation can get downright frustrating. It can make you feel unmotivated and uninspired. It can also make you wonder if you really are doing good work, since no one seems to notice.

Although we shouldn’t fuel our days entirely on other people’s thankfulness, it’s good to feel appreciated and valued—a worthwhile contribution to the team. If you’re fed up with your lack of recognition, try these four tips:

1. Know when to say NO

If you’re feeling like others are taking advantage of your generosity, it may be time to draw a firm line in the sand. Know your limits and be brave enough to say no when you’re feeling overworked, or when an assignment does not fall within your area of expertise. Although it can be difficult to do at first, saying no can help establish healthy boundaries and earn you respect (if you’re tactful about it! For more, read 10 Diplomatic Ways to Say NO)

2. Make yourself visible

It’s possible others are not expressing their gratitude to you because they are not aware of the work you are doing. Make an effort to check in regularly with your boss or your work team and give a brief update about your current projects. BUT, be sure to reciprocate and ask others about their projects and progress. Demonstrate that you care about others’ work and they will likely return the favor.

3. Express your feelings

Don’t just keep your frustration to yourself; tell others if you’re feeling underappreciated or ignored. How do you do that without exploding your emotions onto others and causing a rift? Try using the D4 model: Data, Depth of Feeling, Dramatic Interpretation, and Do. First, state the facts of the situation—what happened and why? Then, express how you felt about it and what meaning (interpretation) you give to the situation. Finally, suggest an action plan.

The D4 model could play out like this: “Susan, I put in ten extra hours last week to assist with your project and I’m frustrated that you didn’t acknowledge my help. I believe this is part of a larger problem in the office: we do not appreciate each other’s contributions. Going forward, I would like to change that by recognizing outstanding team members at meetings or awarding bonus gift cards to employees who put in extra effort. What do you think?”

4. Continue to show gratitude

If you take the time to recognize others’ achievements—whether in a company meeting, a private comment, or a written note—others are likely to reciprocate. You’re contributing to a culture of gratitude and when you lift up others, you’ll be lifted with them.

 

You deserve recognition for your hard work. If you’re frustrated by your office’s lack of appreciation, get cracking on one (or more!) of these four steps. Remember: don’t be accusatory or snide. Approach your situation with a level head and the understanding that most people are not giving you short shrift on purpose—they’re likely so wrapped up in their work and lives that they’ve simply forgotten the power of a simple “thank you.”

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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thank-you-515514_1280

It is the holiday season. This is a time when it’s easy to get distracted and lose sight of the bigger picture, the meaning of the season. With presents to wrap, a turkey to baste, and a home to decorate, many of us fall so deeply into our own lives that we forget about others outside of our “bubble.” Our attention turns away from clients, co-workers, and acquaintances. Make an effort to remember them this year!

One great way to let someone know that they play a meaningful role in your life is to send a thank you card. I prefer the handwritten type, because it conveys more meaning and personalization. It’s fine to keep the thank you short, but make sure it is genuine and heart-felt. People can sniff out insincerity from a mile away!

So, who do you send a thank you card to?

Reach out to everyone who has helped or supported you this year. Did the security guard have to let you into the office after-hours when you forgot your laptop? Did one of your team members take over some of your work when you were home sick? Did a client decide to renew a contract with your company?

All of these people deserve a thank you. Not only is this a nice gesture, it helps bolster your relationship with that person. People love to be thanked and your simple thank you card could have a profound effect. There is a legendary car salesman named Joe Girard who sold a whopping 13,001 Chevy cars between 1963 and 1978. He holds a place in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s greatest salesman. How did he do it? In addition to being a genuinely nice guy, Joe sent each of his customers a thank you card every year during the holidays. This kind of personalized appreciation went a long way (obviously!) and customers returned again and again to Joe and also recommended their friends and family members to him.

That’s the power of a simple, heart-felt thank you.

Try it out this year. Who do you appreciate? Who has made a positive difference in your life? Take the time to tell them Thank You.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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daily dose of thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving month, so you’re likely seeing constant reminders about gratitude and giving thanks. A lot of it may seem fluffy, but there are actually concrete benefits to being grateful.

Studies have shown that moods lift, outlooks become more positive, and relationships are healthier when we practice gratitude. From a business perspective, showing appreciation for your clients, co-workers, support staff, or employees helps to foster a more pleasant atmosphere, boosts morale, and slashes employee turnover.

But, gratitude shouldn’t be treated as a one-off thing. We shouldn’t get through Thanksgiving and go, “Well, that was fun. Now, on to Black Friday!”

A grateful mentality should be a sustainable one. We’re talking about an attitude shift here, not just a temporary state of mind. Why change your thinking for a month, when you can change it for a lifetime?

The trick to sustaining an attitude of gratitude? Practice every day.

The moment you wake up, instead of dreading the day ahead, think about the many blessings in your life. These could be simple things–the hot coffee in the pot, your friends and family, the roof over your head. Think about three things that bring you joy, comfort, or stability. You can choose to write about these things in a gratitude journal, or simply meditate on them for a few minutes.

Then, see where your day takes you. This morning burst of gratitude should help give you a positive boost and, if you confront rough patches throughout the day, you can always think back to your morning meditation and remember the three things that you were grateful for.

(It is worth noting that being a grateful person doesn’t mean that there aren’t negative aspects of your life. If the negative parts get too overwhelming, it may be time for a significant change. But that’s a topic that I’ve addressed in other posts.)

When you’re grateful and appreciative, the world changes. Your personal outlook becomes brighter, the people around you seem more pleasant (or at least tolerable!), and your relationships become more amiable and love-filled.  Try adopting a gratitude-filled lifestyle and watch your world transform!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Norman Rockwell, Thanksgiving, Margaret Smith UXL

Today, I would like to express my thanks to all of you–friends, loyal readers, acquaintances, fellow career coaches, aspiring leaders, and all the positive influences in my life. I thank you for your support, your business, and your encouraging words.

What are you grateful for? Take a few moments every day this week to count your blessings and be thankful. Being grateful for what you have helps elevate your sense of fulfillment and provides you with an extra dose of motivation. Also, as I wrote about in my November newsletter, being grateful is the number one most magnetic personality trait. Others are drawn to those who are humble, caring, and genuinely thankful.

Even though Thanksgiving comes but once a year, we should all try to occasionally pause and acknowledge all the goodness around us. Let the feeling of the season sustain you throughout the year to come.

Happy Thanksgiving and please enjoy the following quiz. How much do you actually know about the holiday? This quiz will test your (and your guests’) knowledge of Thanksgiving. It’s a fun way to keep the conversation flowing after everyone’s had their fill of turkey and stuffing. Enjoy!

 

Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Thanksgiving?

 

 

 

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