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Creating Successful Leaders

Our modern world can be highly competitive. Dozens (or even hundreds) of people might apply for the same job. Influencers release content that tries to be more engaging/outrageous than their competitors to garner more clicks and views. Salespeople attempt to outpace the competition. But despite all this tension and striving, I believe there is a place for decency and for lifting up each other. Why should we argue over crumbs when we can all collectively raise the bar and be better? Uplifting others does not mean you will, in turn, suffer. In fact, I have found the opposite to be the case.

It is said a rising tide lifts all boats, and I have witnessed this type of “group rising” in the workplace. When people choose to collaborate, share information, be kind and inviting, and take the time to understand each other, everyone does better. If we “lift as we climb,” that won’t impede our own progress. Instead, it will just help everyone improve.

We can think about this from an economic standpoint. When the economy suffers, everyone—from restaurant servers, to auto mechanics, to real estate agents—takes a hit. But the opposite is true as well. When the economy is booming, we are all typically reaping the benefits. If you’re doing well, you may choose to splurge on something special, such as a piece of handmade pottery. As a result, the potter might buy themselves a nice lunch and tip their server generously, who can then afford to fix her car…and on and on.

Looking at this from a workplace perspective, it’s true that we can’t all be the CEO or head supervisor, but we do all have the power to uplift others in some way. Maybe you have a unique skillset that you’re willing to share. Or maybe you’re good at organizing social events, which can strengthen office relationships and lighten the atmosphere. Or perhaps you recognize when a co-worker is struggling with something and tactfully offer your assistance. Whatever the case, when you give a little of yourself, you are by no means throwing it away. Rather, this is like using one candle to light another—the original candle stays lit, but it passes on the flame.

Another example: Let’s say you notice that someone else has recently been putting in extra effort and their effort is paying off in spades. You could easily let their work go unrecognized, but why not reach out to their supervisor and let them know you’ve noticed the incredible job they are doing. It could be a casual message or email, something like, “Hi Jordan, I just wanted to check in and say, ‘Wow!’ Sara is doing an incredible job on the ABC account. I’ve noticed her putting in extra hours and it really shows.”

Keep the message simple, but bring up at least one specific thing your co-worker did to earn your praise (so the supervisor understands where their team member is shining). No need to gush too much; just make it quick and sincere. Chances are, the supervisor will remember both Sara’s actions and your praise. And it’s certainly not a bad thing to earn a reputation as a cheerleader and team player.

I sincerely hope that hyper-competitive workplaces can learn to mellow somewhat. We get so much further when we work together, care about each other, and make an effort to uplift others. In my experience, these actions have a way of boomeranging back in the best possible way.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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There is only so much within our personal sphere of control. We can’t manipulate the weather, or predict the future, or control global politics. We can, however, take small actions (see my past blog post on this topic) that can potentially contribute to big differences. And we can also find and protect our personal peace.

When things are tumultuous—whether at home, work, or on a national or global scale—it is easy to get swept up in the chaos. We may feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, or we might feel anxious, downtrodden, or frustrated. These are natural emotions when life, and the future, are uncertain, or when there is discord around us. And if you’re like many people I know, you have a big heart and care about others—so much so that you take on their suffering and fear as if it were your own. In other words, you may feel off-kilter for any number of reasons, all of which are real and valid.

When you’re caught in an emotional storm, how can you resist being pulled down by the undertow? How can you use your personal tools to fight back?

Creating a Space for Serenity

Although it may go against your instincts, you need to take care of yourself and protect your personal peace. You can’t help anyone (including yourself) if you’re utterly exhausted. If you want to make positive changes in your home, your workplace, your community, or on an even larger scale, you must equip yourself with a clear mind and fortitude. These things can be found by allowing yourself the time and space to rest, tune out, and be present with your thoughts for a while.

Here are a few ideas for creating that space:

Log Out

Stanford Law School reports that, “The widespread use of social networking sites has been identified as a contributing factor to the growing mental health crisis” and it has been associated with “an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and psychological distress.” If you often find yourself doomscrolling, I encourage you to log off and limit your use. One way to do that is to set daily social media limits, which can be done using an app such as Opal, One Sec, or StayFocusd.

Set Aside Quiet Time

In today’s world, it’s increasingly rare to find quiet spaces. That’s why it’s a good idea to intentionally set aside quiet time every day, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Block off your calendar, put your phone in airplane mode, and escape. You might go on a walk, take a bath, or read a book—whatever makes you feel lighter and gives you a greater sense of peace.

Meditate

The health benefits of meditation are manifold—lower blood pressure, better concentration, etc. And meditation does not necessarily involve sitting cross-legged and humming a mantra (although it could!). You might try walking meditation, or meditating with intention. To get started, download an app such as Calm or Headspace and commit to your practice for the week. Then, commit for one more week. Then another. Soon, it will become an integral part of your day.

Seek Positive Presences

In times of hardship, a good friend is worth more than gold, especially if that friend is a good listener. You don’t have to go through this alone. Instead, text a friend, talk to your spouse, or contact a therapist. Talking things out can be enormously beneficial and can help put things in perspective.

Be Kind to Yourself

During times of turmoil, it’s easy to be hard on yourself, blaming yourself, perhaps, for not doing more or being better. But being hard on yourself won’t get you far. Instead, think about treating yourself with the same tenderness and care that you would a five-year-old version of YOU. Give yourself a virtual hug, be patient, and stop blaming yourself for every little thing. Instead, show yourself grace and understanding.

Focus on preserving your inner peace, and lifting yourself up instead of tearing yourself down. That is the only way to build your fortitude and gain the clarity and strength to keep going, despite the storm.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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It’s a different world from 2013, when I published my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge. The workplace has changed substantially in some ways, but in other ways it has remained relatively unchanged. Amazingly, the core messages of many of my chapters have remained the same (having clarity, no excuses, being present). This signals to me that they will remain relevant, even if our world—and the work landscape—shifts dramatically again. One of those key concepts is building community.

Community is essential, both within and outside of the workplace. It’s about supporting others, cheering them on, and making sure their needs are met on multiple levels (from the base of Maslow’s pyramid to the top). An article by Psychology Today says that community is “especially important for people who’ve experienced trauma or loss, or who are feeling isolated, marginalized, bullied, or alone.” That’s true, but it’s also worth noting that community is important for all people, no matter what they are going through. Research supports the fact that community helps us to be physically healthier, mentally sharper, more productive, and more confident. The World Health Organization (WHO) found that, “Social connection can protect health across the lifespan. It can reduce inflammation, lower the risk of serious health problems, foster mental health, and prevent early death. It can also strengthen the social fabric, contributing to making communities healthier, safer and more prosperous.”

Because of the absolutely vital nature of community, it is important to actively foster it. In your personal life, you might make an effort to get to know your neighbors, join a community club, or participate in an online community group or chat. In the workplace, you could take the time to reach out, ask thoughtful questions, and get to know your team members on a deeper level. This should all come from a place of genuine caring—a desire to lift others up and be part of a positive ecosystem.

I fully acknowledge that reaching out and intentionally attempting to build community can be uncomfortable or boundary-pushing. If you’re accustomed to breezing through your day without much focus on those around you, this people-centric approach can feel unnatural at first. I suggest starting small and continuing to build at a sustainable pace. Check in with others, pledge to get to know one person a little better this week, or make a list of community-oriented groups to potentially join. You could even start smaller by simply greeting the cashier in the checkout line or waving hello to a neighbor.

Even tiny actions can help make your community a more welcoming, warm place. What one thing (or two!) can you do today to build a stronger community, either in your professional or personal life?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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