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“Creating Successful Leaders”

May 20, 2026 New Overcoming Self-Criticism (Be Kind to Yourself)

Overcoming Self-Criticism; a blog post by life coach Margaret Smith

If you’re reading this today, know that you are more than you realize. You are smarter, you shine brighter, and you touch more people’s lives than you know.

Far too often, we do not recognize our own self-worth. Many of us are our own worst critics. Even if we accomplish something great, we tend to pick apart our performance, looking at the blemishes instead of the bright spots. But what does this achieve? Sure, it’s helpful to learn from mistakes, but it is absolutely NOT helpful to put ourselves down, be overly critical, or tell ourselves we’re not good enough or capable enough.

An article by Psychology Today discusses our tendency to be tough on ourselves, saying, “Often we self-criticize on autopilot and need to wake up and realize the damage we are doing.” Absolutely.

Start paying attention to that little voice that tends to run through your head. Is it usually negative or self-deprecating? Do you often tell yourself that you can’t do something, or that you’re not accomplished enough to do something? Do you have difficulties accepting compliments or recognizing a job well done? I call this little negative voice your “gremlins,” those self-saboteurs that make you doubt yourself and your abilities.

How do you banish these gremlins? How can you become kinder and more forgiving to yourself?

This involves a fundamental change in perspective, and THAT does not happen overnight. If you’ve been putting yourself down for a long time, it’s going to take a while to lift yourself up. And you’ll probably have good days and bad days along the way–days when you feel confident and brilliant, and other days when your impostor syndrome is strong and you doubt yourself at every turn.

But this shift in perspective is not impossible. Try starting with any of these suggestions:

  • Remind yourself that no one is perfect (and holding that impossible standard is not healthy or realistic).
  • Recognize your achievements (Think about something you’ve accomplished recently and give yourself a pat on the back.)
  • Accept compliments (Simply say, “Thank you” instead of shrugging off the compliment.)
  • Treat yourself how you strive to treat others (Would you constantly criticize a friend? Would you repeatedly put down your co-workers? Probably not! So, don’t do this to yourself.)
  • Learn to let go (Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t help to fixate on them. To move on, try journaling about the situation, go on a long walk, talk about it with a trusted listener, throw yourself into a healthy distraction, such as painting, exercise, cooking, or whatever engages and energizes you.)
  • Stop comparing yourself with others. (People often put their best face forward, especially when it comes to social media. Stop comparing yourself to impossible standards and place your focus on self-growth and affirmation.)

Most of us would benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. This isn’t an act of hubris, but an act of genuine care and compassion. Yes, we need to learn from our mistakes, but we do not need to beat ourselves up in the process. Be more forgiving and patient with yourself, and make a conscious effort to banish those gremlins. Your life will be better for it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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May 6, 2026 Stressed? You Might Need an Intentional Break

Man sitting with head in hands on a leather coach with blurred section to the left of the frame

Life can get to be a lot. We juggle work with family commitments, volunteering, household chores, and trips to the gym. We get sucked into the little dramas happening all around us, as well as the big national (and international) issues that crop up. For some, escaping means turning to their phone and scrolling (and scrolling and scrolling) through social media. But that’s not a true escape. In fact, social media can make you feel even worse than you already do.

How can you alleviate all this pressure and stress? How can you truly take a step back from life’s chaos?

I suggest taking an intentional break.

An intentional break is different than mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or watching TV. Instead, it involves purposefully stepping away from work or tasks to recharge your mind and body. It could be a short walk outside, a mindfulness meditation session, or even a brief chat with a colleague. Or it could involve something more sustained, such as a weekend getaway, vacation, or even a sabbatical.

These types of breaks of breaks are vital for your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. They allow you to temporarily tune out the noise, gain some perspective, and have a chance to reflect. You might discover during this downtime that something you’re currently doing (whether minor or major) is the wrong choice and it’s time to course correct. Or you might realize that you’ve been neglecting the things that are most important in your life (your health, your family, the hobbies and activities that uplift you and bring you joy).

Even if you don’t have a “grand epiphany” while engaging in your break, this time is still valuable. It can help you rejuvenate, relax, and reset your nervous system. We are not built to go, go, go without stopping, and prolonged breaks are part of the natural “pulse” of being human.

Some ideas for short-term meaningful breaks include:

  • Going on a walk or hike
  • Meditating or practicing yoga
  • Finding a quiet space to read a book
  • Nature watching (or people watching) from your window
  • Gardening (or browsing a garden center)
  • Strolling through a conservatory, zoo, or museum

Some ideas for longer-term breaks include:

  • Planning a road trip
  • Booking a stay at a cozy cabin
  • Engaging in a long-term meditation or yoga practice
  • Going on an international vacation
  • Taking a sabbatical
  • Pursuing a new hobby or re-engaging with an old one
  • Attending a silent retreat

There is no right way to take an intentional break. Do whatever fits with your circumstances and interests. And if you don’t think you have time for this type of break, keep in mind that taking the occasional break is essential for your health and can help you refocus and move forward with greater intention and energy.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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April 22, 2026 The Case for Uplifting Others

Our modern world can be highly competitive. Dozens (or even hundreds) of people might apply for the same job. Influencers release content that tries to be more engaging/outrageous than their competitors to garner more clicks and views. Salespeople attempt to outpace the competition. But despite all this tension and striving, I believe there is a place for decency and for lifting up each other. Why should we argue over crumbs when we can all collectively raise the bar and be better? Uplifting others does not mean you will, in turn, suffer. In fact, I have found the opposite to be the case.

It is said a rising tide lifts all boats, and I have witnessed this type of “group rising” in the workplace. When people choose to collaborate, share information, be kind and inviting, and take the time to understand each other, everyone does better. If we “lift as we climb,” that won’t impede our own progress. Instead, it will just help everyone improve.

We can think about this from an economic standpoint. When the economy suffers, everyone—from restaurant servers, to auto mechanics, to real estate agents—takes a hit. But the opposite is true as well. When the economy is booming, we are all typically reaping the benefits. If you’re doing well, you may choose to splurge on something special, such as a piece of handmade pottery. As a result, the potter might buy themselves a nice lunch and tip their server generously, who can then afford to fix her car…and on and on.

Looking at this from a workplace perspective, it’s true that we can’t all be the CEO or head supervisor, but we do all have the power to uplift others in some way. Maybe you have a unique skillset that you’re willing to share. Or maybe you’re good at organizing social events, which can strengthen office relationships and lighten the atmosphere. Or perhaps you recognize when a co-worker is struggling with something and tactfully offer your assistance. Whatever the case, when you give a little of yourself, you are by no means throwing it away. Rather, this is like using one candle to light another—the original candle stays lit, but it passes on the flame.

Another example: Let’s say you notice that someone else has recently been putting in extra effort and their effort is paying off in spades. You could easily let their work go unrecognized, but why not reach out to their supervisor and let them know you’ve noticed the incredible job they are doing. It could be a casual message or email, something like, “Hi Jordan, I just wanted to check in and say, ‘Wow!’ Sara is doing an incredible job on the ABC account. I’ve noticed her putting in extra hours and it really shows.”

Keep the message simple, but bring up at least one specific thing your co-worker did to earn your praise (so the supervisor understands where their team member is shining). No need to gush too much; just make it quick and sincere. Chances are, the supervisor will remember both Sara’s actions and your praise. And it’s certainly not a bad thing to earn a reputation as a cheerleader and team player.

I sincerely hope that hyper-competitive workplaces can learn to mellow somewhat. We get so much further when we work together, care about each other, and make an effort to uplift others. In my experience, these actions have a way of boomeranging back in the best possible way.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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