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“Creating Successful Leaders”

July 22, 2026 New Retirement and Identity

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

I have officially retired and am in the process of winding down existing projects and responsibilities. Even this blog will come to a close before the end of this year. As I move forward into true retirement (not counting my first retirement from 3M), I have been thinking about who I am as a person without an official occupation and title. Who is Margaret Smith without the career coaching, consulting, public speaking, teaching, etc.? Will my identity change? Will people see me differently?

It is said that retirement can initially feel like grieving. Part of you pines for the rhythm of the workplace, the chats with co-workers, the assignments that fill your days and keep you focused. When you lose the structure and reliability of everyday work, that can be disorienting. You’re suddenly in charge of your own schedule and filling your own days; there are no fires to put out, emails to answer, or projects to complete.

And this brings us back to the issue of identity. Without the scaffolding of work propping you up, who are you?

I’ve found that people who have not put in the time to form social networks, develop a hobby, or join a volunteer group or other collective are more disoriented after retirement. In my experience, men are usually more affected than women, since many men rely on their co-workers as a primary social network and/or group. They might go golfing with work buddies or attend work-centric parties. But these groups of people may or may not be there for you after you leave the workplace.

In my own life, I have found meaning in retirement by amplifying my volunteering, meeting up with friends, attending social groups, and more. Since my son and daughter-in-law now live down the street from me, I also help them with everyday tasks, including looking after my grandsons.

To me, identity can and should go beyond your work. What causes do you believe in? Who are you in relation to others (a friend, a spouse, a parent, a mentor, etc.)? And how do you show up in the world? Do you make an effort to lead with kindness? Do you volunteer your time or dollars, and speak up against injustices? Do you let life happen to you, or do you grab it by the horns?

These are some of the questions you could ask yourself when considering your place after retirement. Instead of grieving what you’ve lost, reframe retirement as an opportunity—a chance to reinvent yourself, become more active in your community, form deeper bonds, and try the things you’ve always wanted to try. Start taking French cooking classes, or join a stained-glass workshop, or travel to the far-flung places you’ve always wanted to see.

All that time and space without the structure of work can seem daunting at first, but I’m confident you can fill it. And there’s no rush. Take some time to reflect on how you’d like to spend your days and years and consider what will bring you fulfillment and joy. This is how you can recapture your identity in retirement.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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July 8, 2026 5 Small Acts of Kindness in the Workplace

In the workplace, like so many other spaces in our lives, we can choose to be bad-tempered and short with others…or we can choose to be kind. Even if your co-workers or boss can occasionally make you exasperated or annoyed, you can decide to turn things around and respond with kindness and understanding. In fact, this is perhaps the best time to respond this way. Far too often, bad tempers build on each other, which can escalate a situation.

We can also lead with kindness, setting a friendly tone with others right off the bat. Leading by example can be powerful, and if you make an intentional effort to be considerate and understanding, others will hopefully follow suit. 

Acting with kindness does not have to involve grand gestures, and it doesn’t even need to be a high-effort endeavor. Instead, you can incorporate kindness into your everyday actions—the way you respond, talk to, and/or include others. These efforts not only create a more welcoming environment, they also can improve the company’s bottom line by increasing productivity and reducing turnover. On the other hand, according to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, “Ostracism, incivility, harassment, and bullying have direct negative significant effects on job productivity” and lead to higher job burnout.

To start amplifying kindness in the workplace, I suggest starting with these 5 small acts of kindness.

1. Acknowledge Others

It may seem like a small thing, but the simple act of acknowledging someone you pass in the hallway or giving a sincere greeting to each of your colleagues in a Zoom meeting (provided it’s not a meeting with dozens of people!) can make a significant impact. No one likes to feel invisible. Giving someone a warm greeting and adding a remark like, “It’s nice to see you today” can make that person feel welcomed and valued.

2. Ask Meaningful Questions

How often do you meet with a co-worker and automatically ask that tired, old question, “How are you?” Instead, try asking something a bit more specific—something that indicates you care about the person across from you and you pay attention to them. You might ask something like the following:

“How was your weekend? Were you able to take out your sailboat?”

“How is your house project going? Are you still able to use your kitchen while it’s under construction?

Or, you might ask “How are you?” and follow it up with something like: “I heard you were sick last week; hopefully you’re feeling better?”

3. Welcome all voices

If only one or two people ever speak up during most meetings, that quickly sends the message that the rest of the team is not valued. Make your meetings more welcoming by inviting others to share their thoughts, ideas, and opinions. This might mean intentionally reaching out to certain people and saying something like, “This seems like it would affect your department, Violet. What do you think about implementing this change?” In short, pay attention and make sure everyone’s voice is represented.

4. Cut the gossip

Unless you’re committed to positive gossip (which I discuss in a past post), it’s a good idea to keep office gossip to a minimum. Few things can erode trust and create a toxic environment quicker than talking about others behind their backs. Just don’t do it. And if others attempt to gossip to you, shut it down quickly with a comment such as, “I have no opinion on the matter. Could we get back to talking about X?”

5. Listen

No one likes to feel like they are talking to a brick wall. Convey to others that they are welcomed and worthy by genuinely listening to what they have to say. Absorb what they’re telling you without judgement, ask good questions, and follow up or take action if necessary. Active listening is a sign of respect and it helps foster a more friendly office environment.

Start making kindness a central part of your daily work, and start becoming the change you’d like to see take place. Just a few small actions could make an enormous difference in making others feel more welcomed, amplifying positivity, and facilitating a hospitable work environment.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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June 24, 2026 Saying “No” at Work (3 Scenarios)

It’s easy to say yes. We naturally aim to please our co-workers and supervisors; we want to look good in the eyes of the company and get that raise or earn that promotion. But saying yes can be dangerous. If you say yes to everything—every assignment, every request, every invitation—you’ll end up stretching yourself too thin and you’ll possibly end up taking on work that isn’t in your sweet spot or doing things that go against your code of ethics.

Though I’m a proponent of trying new things and being agreeable, there are times when it is in your best interest to give a firm N-O. Here are three scenarios where saying “No” is the best course of action (accompanied by three strategies to pull it off):

1. You have too much on your plate.

If you feel your workload growing out of control and can tell the quality of your work is sharply declining, it’s time to say no. How to do it? The next time your project leader tries to assign you something new, do not immediately say yes. Arrange to meet one-on-one (it is much easier to reason with someone one-on-one than in a group) and lay out your reasons for not wanting to take on the project.

Be prepared. Make a spreadsheet that clearly displays the projects you are currently tackling and how much time you spend each day on each project. Also, come into the meeting with a counter-proposal in mind. If you know of someone else who might have the capacity (and desire) to take on the project, suggest that person to your project leader (be sure to get that individual’s approval ahead of time).

Alternatively, you could suggest a future date that would work for you to start the project (i.e. “I’m busy from now until the end of the May, but I could start working on this project in June.”)

2. You are being given work that is not in your “sweet spot.”

This is a tough one, but ultimately, if you are constantly handed work that does not align with your areas of expertise, you are doing both your company and yourself a disservice. Your company won’t receive the best possible work and you’ll be straying from your career goals.

So, how to say no? Again, a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor is helpful in this situation. Explain to her what your ultimate goals are and what kind of projects you prefer. One of the best things you can do in this situation is approach it with confidence and decisiveness. Know where you’d like to be heading and explain, confidently, how you’d like to get there.

Ultimately, if your company is not supportive of your career goals (or if you find that the type of work you do consistently does not align with your sweet spot), it is time to start searching for something new, either inside or outside your current company.

3. Saying yes compromises your values.

There are times when it just does not feel good to say yes. Perhaps you agree to attend a late-night strategy session, knowing that your daughter has a piano recital that night. Or perhaps a co-worker dumps several assignments on your lap that are really her responsibility, not yours. Or maybe you’ve had to sacrifice your health or nightly down-time because of all the projects you’ve agreed to do. Whatever the case, sometimes saying yes is simply not the right decision.

How to say no? First of all, know your priorities. Does your family come first? Your health? Your mental wellbeing? When one of the things that’s important in your life becomes compromised, it’s time to say no. Keep an open line of communication with your boss and let him know when you feel like work is tipping the scales of your work-life balance.

And another thing: think before you say yes. Always take a moment to pause, assess the situation, and make a deliberate decision. If that means waiting a day or two to mull over the pros and cons, so be it. Ultimately, you need to feel good about agreeing to do something before you say “yes.”

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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