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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

July 22, 2026 Retirement and Identity

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

I have officially retired and am in the process of winding down existing projects and responsibilities. Even this blog will come to a close before the end of this year. As I move forward into true retirement (not counting my first retirement from 3M), I have been thinking about who I am as a person without an official occupation and title. Who is Margaret Smith without the career coaching, consulting, public speaking, teaching, etc.? Will my identity change? Will people see me differently?

It is said that retirement can initially feel like grieving. Part of you pines for the rhythm of the workplace, the chats with co-workers, the assignments that fill your days and keep you focused. When you lose the structure and reliability of everyday work, that can be disorienting. You’re suddenly in charge of your own schedule and filling your own days; there are no fires to put out, emails to answer, or projects to complete.

And this brings us back to the issue of identity. Without the scaffolding of work propping you up, who are you?

I’ve found that people who have not put in the time to form social networks, develop a hobby, or join a volunteer group or other collective are more disoriented after retirement. In my experience, men are usually more affected than women, since many men rely on their co-workers as a primary social network and/or group. They might go golfing with work buddies or attend work-centric parties. But these groups of people may or may not be there for you after you leave the workplace.

In my own life, I have found meaning in retirement by amplifying my volunteering, meeting up with friends, attending social groups, and more. Since my son and daughter-in-law now live down the street from me, I also help them with everyday tasks, including looking after my grandsons.

To me, identity can and should go beyond your work. What causes do you believe in? Who are you in relation to others (a friend, a spouse, a parent, a mentor, etc.)? And how do you show up in the world? Do you make an effort to lead with kindness? Do you volunteer your time or dollars, and speak up against injustices? Do you let life happen to you, or do you grab it by the horns?

These are some of the questions you could ask yourself when considering your place after retirement. Instead of grieving what you’ve lost, reframe retirement as an opportunity—a chance to reinvent yourself, become more active in your community, form deeper bonds, and try the things you’ve always wanted to try. Start taking French cooking classes, or join a stained-glass workshop, or travel to the far-flung places you’ve always wanted to see.

All that time and space without the structure of work can seem daunting at first, but I’m confident you can fill it. And there’s no rush. Take some time to reflect on how you’d like to spend your days and years and consider what will bring you fulfillment and joy. This is how you can recapture your identity in retirement.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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May 20, 2026 Overcoming Self-Criticism (Be Kind to Yourself)

Overcoming Self-Criticism; a blog post by life coach Margaret Smith

If you’re reading this today, know that you are more than you realize. You are smarter, you shine brighter, and you touch more people’s lives than you know.

Far too often, we do not recognize our own self-worth. Many of us are our own worst critics. Even if we accomplish something great, we tend to pick apart our performance, looking at the blemishes instead of the bright spots. But what does this achieve? Sure, it’s helpful to learn from mistakes, but it is absolutely NOT helpful to put ourselves down, be overly critical, or tell ourselves we’re not good enough or capable enough.

An article by Psychology Today discusses our tendency to be tough on ourselves, saying, “Often we self-criticize on autopilot and need to wake up and realize the damage we are doing.” Absolutely.

Start paying attention to that little voice that tends to run through your head. Is it usually negative or self-deprecating? Do you often tell yourself that you can’t do something, or that you’re not accomplished enough to do something? Do you have difficulties accepting compliments or recognizing a job well done? I call this little negative voice your “gremlins,” those self-saboteurs that make you doubt yourself and your abilities.

How do you banish these gremlins? How can you become kinder and more forgiving to yourself?

This involves a fundamental change in perspective, and THAT does not happen overnight. If you’ve been putting yourself down for a long time, it’s going to take a while to lift yourself up. And you’ll probably have good days and bad days along the way–days when you feel confident and brilliant, and other days when your impostor syndrome is strong and you doubt yourself at every turn.

But this shift in perspective is not impossible. Try starting with any of these suggestions:

  • Remind yourself that no one is perfect (and holding that impossible standard is not healthy or realistic).
  • Recognize your achievements (Think about something you’ve accomplished recently and give yourself a pat on the back.)
  • Accept compliments (Simply say, “Thank you” instead of shrugging off the compliment.)
  • Treat yourself how you strive to treat others (Would you constantly criticize a friend? Would you repeatedly put down your co-workers? Probably not! So, don’t do this to yourself.)
  • Learn to let go (Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t help to fixate on them. To move on, try journaling about the situation, go on a long walk, talk about it with a trusted listener, throw yourself into a healthy distraction, such as painting, exercise, cooking, or whatever engages and energizes you.)
  • Stop comparing yourself with others. (People often put their best face forward, especially when it comes to social media. Stop comparing yourself to impossible standards and place your focus on self-growth and affirmation.)

Most of us would benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. This isn’t an act of hubris, but an act of genuine care and compassion. Yes, we need to learn from our mistakes, but we do not need to beat ourselves up in the process. Be more forgiving and patient with yourself, and make a conscious effort to banish those gremlins. Your life will be better for it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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April 8, 2026 Finding Personal Peace

There is only so much within our personal sphere of control. We can’t manipulate the weather, or predict the future, or control global politics. We can, however, take small actions (see my past blog post on this topic) that can potentially contribute to big differences. And we can also find and protect our personal peace.

When things are tumultuous—whether at home, work, or on a national or global scale—it is easy to get swept up in the chaos. We may feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, or we might feel anxious, downtrodden, or frustrated. These are natural emotions when life, and the future, are uncertain, or when there is discord around us. And if you’re like many people I know, you have a big heart and care about others—so much so that you take on their suffering and fear as if it were your own. In other words, you may feel off-kilter for any number of reasons, all of which are real and valid.

When you’re caught in an emotional storm, how can you resist being pulled down by the undertow? How can you use your personal tools to fight back?

Creating a Space for Serenity

Although it may go against your instincts, you need to take care of yourself and protect your personal peace. You can’t help anyone (including yourself) if you’re utterly exhausted. If you want to make positive changes in your home, your workplace, your community, or on an even larger scale, you must equip yourself with a clear mind and fortitude. These things can be found by allowing yourself the time and space to rest, tune out, and be present with your thoughts for a while.

Here are a few ideas for creating that space:

Log Out

Stanford Law School reports that, “The widespread use of social networking sites has been identified as a contributing factor to the growing mental health crisis” and it has been associated with “an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and psychological distress.” If you often find yourself doomscrolling, I encourage you to log off and limit your use. One way to do that is to set daily social media limits, which can be done using an app such as Opal, One Sec, or StayFocusd.

Set Aside Quiet Time

In today’s world, it’s increasingly rare to find quiet spaces. That’s why it’s a good idea to intentionally set aside quiet time every day, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Block off your calendar, put your phone in airplane mode, and escape. You might go on a walk, take a bath, or read a book—whatever makes you feel lighter and gives you a greater sense of peace.

Meditate

The health benefits of meditation are manifold—lower blood pressure, better concentration, etc. And meditation does not necessarily involve sitting cross-legged and humming a mantra (although it could!). You might try walking meditation, or meditating with intention. To get started, download an app such as Calm or Headspace and commit to your practice for the week. Then, commit for one more week. Then another. Soon, it will become an integral part of your day.

Seek Positive Presences

In times of hardship, a good friend is worth more than gold, especially if that friend is a good listener. You don’t have to go through this alone. Instead, text a friend, talk to your spouse, or contact a therapist. Talking things out can be enormously beneficial and can help put things in perspective.

Be Kind to Yourself

During times of turmoil, it’s easy to be hard on yourself, blaming yourself, perhaps, for not doing more or being better. But being hard on yourself won’t get you far. Instead, think about treating yourself with the same tenderness and care that you would a five-year-old version of YOU. Give yourself a virtual hug, be patient, and stop blaming yourself for every little thing. Instead, show yourself grace and understanding.

Focus on preserving your inner peace, and lifting yourself up instead of tearing yourself down. That is the only way to build your fortitude and gain the clarity and strength to keep going, despite the storm.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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