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“Creating Successful Leaders”

December 17, 2025 New On Human Connections

As the year draws to a close, and I glide down my “off ramp” toward retirement, I’ve found myself in a reflective and nostalgic mood. One of the things I’ve thought about as I’ve eased into retirement from leading UXL is how much things have changed…and how much they have not. 

Though we live in a world that is now dominated by Zoom meetings and hybrid office hours, many of the same principles I wrote about in my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, are still relevant. Courage, for example, is still an attribute that many of us need to amplify. And community is just as important (if not more important) as ever. One thing, in particular, that hasn’t changed during the 16+ years I’ve run UXL is the need and the power of human connection.

With so many of us working remotely, or living an “online life” through social media, entertainment, and/or AI, it sometimes feels like human connection is hard to find. We might react to someone’s post on social media, but is that really a connection? Or, we might attend a one-hour online workshop, but did we really form meaningful connections with the other participants?

I have noticed a distinct difference between the in-person workshops I’ve delivered over the years and the online ones. During the in-person workshops, we mixed and mingled. We talked to each other organically. We laughed and responded to each other’s body language. But during the online workshops, everything felt measured and a little stiff. We couldn’t respond as naturally to each other’s emotions and body language, and some people even had their cameras off. While I respect that choice in certain situations, this does make it difficult for the presenter and participants to react and bounce off each other in a natural way.

Additionally, after these workshops, I noticed that people often followed up and sometimes kept in touch for YEARS after an in-person session. That was never the case for virtual workshops. I have yet to hear from a single participant.

These observations have made me more convinced than ever that in-person, genuine human interactions are incredibly valuable and can be very meaningful. The same level of intimacy and authenticity is difficult to achieve (in my experience) in online settings. 

During the holidays this year, I encourage you to put a little distance between yourself and your screens. Engage with your family and friends, put yourself out in the community, and aim for meaningful interactions. Instead of switching on the TV at night or falling into your phone, strike up a conversation with your significant other or ask if anyone wants to play a board game. Instead of (or in addition to) clicking “donate,” offer your time and your hands by volunteering in the community. These types of very human interactions can make a world of difference to both you and the people you touch.

Though so much has changed in the world since I started my business 16+ years ago, the acute need for authentic human interaction has remained the same. This holiday season, nourish your soul, uplift others, and form meaningful bonds through taking the time to simply be human in an offline world.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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December 3, 2025 Thoughts on Retirement and Transitions

I have already retired once. In 2009, I officially left my position as a Business Director in 3M. But that wasn’t the end of my career. I knew I wasn’t yet done with teaching others, imparting leadership lessons, and providing guidance, so I set up UXL, an organization dedicated to helping people navigate transitions, improve leadership, and capitalize on opportunities. 

After over 16 years of running UXL, I have made the difficult decision to ease into retirement. I’m considering these next few months my “off ramp” and will be getting all my ducks in a row for stepping away from my career. It’s time to enjoy some travel, spend time with my kids and grandkids, and stay engaged in community activities and organizations. 

With this in mind, I put together a few thoughts about retirement (in general) and my plan going forward:

The word retirement carries many different emotions: fear, anxiety, excitement, enthusiasm, relief, and joy. Joy because you worked hard to be at this point and you are well-prepared, fear because of the wonderful relationships, support, friendships, and business associates that have been such an important part of your life, and the thought of not engaging with them on a regular basis is sad.

I wrestled with the whole idea and the right timing. But, like so many other life decisions, there is no perfect time. I just had to set a date and work toward it, keeping a positive attitude and looking for opportunities that exist in the next chapter of life. This whole transition is made more difficult by the fact that I love what I do and genuinely like the clients I work with. But every transition carries a whole series of emotions and thoughts.

In my situation, I have the luxury of being able to step away from UXL slowly. Over the next several months, I will wrap up contracts and stop taking on new clients and projects. As you may know, one of the cornerstones of my business is the Insights Discovery program. To ease out of this practice, I have helped Stephanie Elliston of The Steady Elevation (stephanie@thesteadyelevation.com) take over my work. She is a wonderfully skilled and savvy individual, and I know she will thrive as a Licensed Practitioner of Insights Discovery.

My other work on leadership development and career coaching will go to a variety of people that best fit the needs of particular individuals and organizations. I would be glad to give referrals if you need some help identifying the right person.

I will also be continuing my blog posts and newsletter for a few more months, since I believe I still have some wisdom to impart. So, stay tuned!

What will I be doing?

Spending time with family: With a son and his family living on the west coast and another son and his family living a few houses away from us, I am looking forward to having a relationship with my grandchildren that I have dreamed of. I spent a lot of time with my grandmothers and always envisioned the same for me. Now I get that chance.

Traveling: Not only will I be traveling to the west coast to visit my son and his family, I will also periodically visit the rest of my family, who lives on the east coast. So, I may not know what time zone I am in for a while! I am looking forward to reconnecting with my siblings and their families. Additionally, I plan to travel abroad from time to time, but that’s all TBD! 

Volunteering in my Community: There is so much to do to help make a community, and I plan on getting more involved with the Chamber, my church, and the causes that are important to me. When you work full-time there is not as much time or energy to give, but now I can. Watch out Stillwater!! I love bringing people together, as my neighbors can attest! Together, we have built a wonderful little section of town that cares for each other, celebrates, and knows how to have fun.

Have you thought about your retirement, or perhaps a “rewiring” or rejuvenation, if it is not yet time to fully retire? Who would you like to reconnect with, where are your strengths needed (many nonprofits need professional help), and what brings you joy?

Although I will no longer be officially coaching others, I always enjoy hearing about people’s plans and intentions. If you’d like to share yours, feel free to send me a note.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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November 19, 2025 Surrounding Yourself with Kindness

Photo by Brittani Burns on Unsplash

You have a choice, and it’s one of the most important choices you can make: You can choose who to surround yourself with. This week, let’s talk about why the people around you matter and how to weed out toxicity (and choose kindness) in your life.

Why “Your People” Matter

Have you ever dropped food coloring into clear water? Even a few drops can taint an entire pitcher, changing it from clear to bright green, or red, or blue. And if you give it a stir, the color will take hold even quicker, disguising the clear water entirely.

This is how toxic relationships can leak into our lives. Even a single toxic individual (like a single drop of food coloring) can ruin our day, dim our joy, or make us not want to show up for work. And two or three individuals can ruin things even quicker. Even if you have a sunny personality and are able to block out some toxicity (deflecting it like a piece of cheese cloth might ward off the drops of food coloring), that toxicity has a way of eventually soaking through.

In short, who we surround ourselves with matters. If the people you see on a regular basis tend to criticize and naysay, you’ll likely find yourself drained and depleted at the end of the day. On the other hand, if you’re surrounded by people who cheer you on, believe in you, and regularly uplift you, you’ll likely feel more energized, fortified, and affirmed.

Therapist John Kim wrote in a Psychology Today article, “…ask yourself who around you is draining you, sucking your energy and taking you hostage, making you feel insecure and less than, not supporting you and your story. What relationships in your life are lopsided? But more importantly, what you are going to do about it?”

What to Do About It

It can be difficult to know how to deal with a person (or people) who are, frankly, jerks. You might not be able to avoid a particular co-worker, for instance, or you might have to occasionally deal with a toxic friend or family member. However, there are a few proactive steps you can take:

Set Boundaries

If a friend is constantly dimming your light, you can choose to limit the time you spend with that person. If a co-worker is always naysaying ideas, you can push back with positivity (“Okay, we’ve heard from Susan what won’t work for this project. Who has an idea about what could work?”). Or, you might try to limit your interactions with them (scheduling fewer meetings, opting to only answer their emails once per day, etc.).

Surround Yourself with Kindness

Though we can’t always pick who we interact with, we can at times. You have the power to choose friends who uplift you and cheer you on. You can spend your time in committees and social groups that are positive and affirming, rather than ones that gossip and/or tear others down. You can also choose (in some cases) to focus your time on co-workers and family members who you enjoy being around. Remember: you are not obligated to upkeep friendships or acquaintances, just because you have known the other person for a long time. Sometimes, it’s okay to prune certain relationships from your life.

Talk Things Over

In certain cases, such as with close friends, family, or co-workers you see regularly, you may want to engage in a conversation about how they show up. John Kim suggests to “come from a place of care and concern, then tell them how their actions and energy are impacting you and the relationship.” Accusations and insults will lead nowhere, but constructive feedback could. It could be that the other person is unaware of how their words or actions are affecting you. Or maybe they are going through a rough patch and inadvertently taking out their frustrations on the people around them. A gentle and tactful conversation might illuminate those things for them.

Don’t let your well become tainted with toxicity! Understand how impactful the people around you can be and take the appropriate steps to protect yourself and infuse your life with positivity. You probably have more power over who you allow into your life than you realize.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

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