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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

March 8, 2023 The Courage to Change Your Mind

A version of this post was first published on July 29, 2020.

“Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing.”

Brandon Sanderson, Author of Oathbringer

It takes courage to admit when you’re wrong, and it takes even more courage to shift your perspective and open yourself to change. The older we get, the easier it is to do things the same way day in, day out. We become entrenched in our beliefs, and it becomes more and more difficult to shift our way of thinking.

In psychology, this “set in your ways” attitude is called mental rigidity.

While it’s normal and healthy to have a routine, mental rigidity goes a step further. It limits how you see the world, makes you less adaptable, and causes you to be closed off to new ideas or perspectives. As one article puts it, “Mental rigidity cuts off the wings you need for imagination, improvement, and exploring new places.”

Mental rigidity can also make it difficult to have empathy–to walk a mile in another’s shoes. We become accustomed to one reality, one way of life, and that becomes the ONLY way. However, different people hail from different backgrounds and have different experiences and beliefs. We can’t necessarily KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling, but we can attempt to UNDERSTAND.

When you introduce yourself to different perspectives, beliefs, and vantage points, you do something a little scary: You open yourself to the possibility that your deeply entrenched attitudes and ways to thinking might change.

Change is never easy, especially when others expect you to remain the same. When you begin to shift your perspective or beliefs, you might face criticism from those who think you’re a “hypocrite” or “wishy-washy.”

I challenge you to stick to your guns and make an honest effort to change, if you believe that change is necessary. Recognize that you are doing yourself a service in the long run, and others’ snide remarks can’t stop you from continuing to learn and grow.

On the same token, be gracious to those who change their minds. No one has all the answers, and it’s okay to learn and evolve. In fact, it is healthy.

So, be fearless. Challenge your assumptions and be bold enough to get uncomfortable. It is only when we dare to step outside our comfort zones that we can truly expand our horizons and potentially change our points of view.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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March 1, 2023 The “I Already Won” Mentality

A version of this post was first published on March 10, 2021.

How do you feel when you know something is a “sure thing?” When actions are so familiar and easy—driving a car, making a familiar recipe, doing a daily task at work—you do them almost automatically. You know you’ll achieve what you’ve set out to do. These everyday, routine tasks can be thought of as wins—tiny victories that are a sure bet.

But what if we dared to believe that other, bigger actions were also wins? What if we assumed we will give a flawless presentation, sign on a new client, or solve a problem?

There’s a certain amount of confidence and ease that accompanies this “I already won” mentality. If you’re certain, for instance, that you’re going to sign on a new client, your body language, tone, and the content of your speech changes. You convey that this action will happen. It’s inevitable.

Using the above example, you might start speaking to the potential new client using different language and terms. You might say, “When we start working together,” instead of “If we end up working together.” Or, you might say, “You’re going to love X, Y, and Z,” instead of, “If we work together, you’ll enjoy X, Y, and Z.”

Using stronger, more confident language is only one positive side effect of an “I already won” mentality. You’ll also find that your body language changes. You may become more relaxed and less anxious or tense. You won’t sound desperate to land the client or nervous that you said the wrong thing. When your body language relaxes, you’ll end up seeming more approachable and inviting—qualities people tend to appreciate.

When you’re confident that you will achieve a certain victory, you start moving beyond the stage where you worry and fret about the outcome and begin thinking about what you will do once you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do. This way of thinking is productive and forward-looking.

And what happens if you DO fail?

It’s bound to happen at some point, but my best advice is this: Don’t dwell on it. It likely wasn’t your confidence or approachability that was the problem; it was something else. Maybe a potential client simply couldn’t afford your offering. Maybe you didn’t get that promotion because you needed to have a certain certificate. Maybe the timing simply wasn’t right. Whatever the case, it’s best to pick yourself up, re-strategize, and keep moving forward.

With confidence.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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February 22, 2023 The Link Between Movement and Productivity

If you’ve ever sat in one place for a long time, like at your desk or on an airplane, you know how lethargic you can feel after a while. That’s because there is a direct correlation between movement and brain function. According to InMovement, “Prolonged sitting leads to poor blood flow. As you move more throughout the day, your body is able to maintain optimal circulation to the brain, which is linked to improved cognitive function.”

Regularly moving your body can also, of course, lead to better physical health. This, in turn, can help you feel healthy and better prepared to take on life’s challenges. It’s difficult to perform at your peak when you’re feeling unwell or sluggish.

Studies have shown that exercising during the workday can improve time management and productivity. One study even noted a 72 percent improvement in these areas! Simply making an effort to move during the day can make a world of difference for your concentration and energy level.

If you’re looking for some easy ways to get moving during the workday, try these tips:

  • Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
  • Stretch or do light exercises at your desk (try chair yoga or desk aerobics).
  • Take walking meetings.
  • Schedule activity breaks for yourself.
  • Stand up and move around every hour or two.
  • Walk to your colleague’s office instead of sending an email.
  • Invest in a standing (or even a cycling) desk.

No matter which activities you choose, regular movement helps fuel productivity and increases your focus and energy. With the right balance of movement and work, you’ll be able to tackle anything the day throws your way.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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