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Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

Less Time at Work 2

There’s a persistent myth that in order to get anywhere in your life or career, you have to put in long hours. As Americans, we’re working harder than ever—putting in a full month’s more of work per year than we did in the 1970s. We’re also the most over-worked nation in the developed world. According to the ILO, “Americans work 137 more hours per year than Japanese workers, 260 more hours per year than British workers, and 499 more hours per year than French workers.”

And here’s the thing: it’s making the other parts of our lives suffer. We don’t have time to take care of ourselves (which is evident with skyrocketing obesity and stress); we take fewer vacation days; we don’t have as much time to spend with our family or friends. Not to mention, it’s nearly impossible to squeeze in volunteer or community time when we’re consistently working more than forty hours per week.

“But wait!” you might be saying. “Don’t I have to put in the hours to prove myself to the company? Won’t I look bad since everyone else is working sixty hours per week?”

My answer to that is this:

It’s much better to work SMARTER than it is to work HARDER.

For instance, if you’re energized from getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly, your performance will increase and you’ll get things done in a shorter amount of time. Looking at it from another angle, when you’re able to step back from your work, this allows you perspective. Instead of being “in the weeds” you can reflect on your work from a distance, which can help you to strategize better and approach your projects with a clearer view of what you want to achieve and how you want to get there.

Not to mention, you’ll feel better and happier when you’re paying attention to other areas of your life besides work. A professor at the Wharton School of Business found that when people in his study spent more time on family, community, and self, “their career satisfaction increased by 21% and their work performance (self-assessed) improved by 8%. Happiness with family life grew even more.”

It’s time we stop “out-working” each other. Such a mentality is, frankly, a race to the bottom. Instead, be a leader in effective time management and work/life balance:

  • Take breaks when you need to
  • Spend time with your family
  • Practice self-care
  • Focus on ONE project at a time, be fully present (and complete tasks more effectively!)
  • Step back and recalibrate your goals
  • Take that vacation
  • Make service to others and your community a priority

A culture shift away from our “worker bee” mentality is absolutely necessary and it starts with YOU.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Love what you do

 

Do you love what you do? Are you excited to wake up and get to work? Does your work add to your life and wellbeing…or does it detract from it?

If you’re currently in a place where you don’t love what you do, it may be time to sit down, get real with yourself, and re-position your compass. Think about it. If you’re like the average American, you’ll spend 1/3 of your life at work. That’s a HUGE percentage! Shouldn’t you at least like what you’re doing.

I think so.

As a career coach, I’ve met many people who are ill-fitted to their current role, but have no clue how to change things. They slog along because they need the money and are unsure of how to make a drastic change. What many of these individuals need is a deep look inside themselves.

We are a nation of go-go-go and rarely stop and take the time to get reacquainted with ourselves. After all, we’re constantly changing. You are not the same person you were as a teenager (thank goodness!) or a young adult. Change is natural, but we don’t always embrace it. Instead, we may power through it and do things because “that’s the way they’ve always been done.”

I challenge you to think differently.

Believe that you can fall in love with your work…you just have to find the right work. Investing in yourself and going through a program such as Insights Deeper Discovery can help set you down a better path. But you have to open yourself to new possibilities, earnestly and candidly reflect, and then act upon your discoveries. All three factors are necessary if you truly want to create lasting change in your life.

Beyond utilizing a science-based assessment such as Insights, it’s a good idea to also do the following:

  • Research what’s out there
  • Join a networking group and be curious (ask anyone and everyone about what they do—you might be surprised by what appeals)
  • Invest in your future: work with a career coach, attend relevant workshops, or learn a new skill set
  • Be open with your family—your decision affects them too and it’s a good idea to have them in your corner
  • Figure out whether you like parts of your current role or need to make a big, sweeping change (turn to a coach or a science-based assessment to determine)
  • Create an action plan—figure out the steps you need to take to implement your changes.

So, what are you waiting for? Isn’t it about time you invested in yourself and your future? Isn’t it about time you stepped forward into a job you love?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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This is your year! It’s time to earn that promotion, get your raise, or capture that leadership role you’ve always wanted. If you want to make big strides this year, you’ll want to make sure you shine in all the right ways. Remember, you never know when the right person will take notice of your abilities so it’s a good idea to always practice consistency—consistency in your attitude, work ethic, standards, and perspectives.

Of course, you’ll want to get the basics right first. Complete your projects before the deadline, show up on time, strive to make positive connections. But, beyond that…how do you stand out while being yourself and not seeming desperate?

Try these four tips:

Speak up

Your opinions and ideas are worthy. When you speak up during team meetings or during one-on-ones, you start to be on others’ radars. This is a great first step to earn your next big thing.

Dress impeccably

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but guess what…everyone does. Dress well every day, as if your boss’ boss is going to step into the room and vet you for a promotion.

Don’t stoop to gossip

Keep your standards high and don’t talk badly about others. Gossip has a way of circling around, and it’s just not worth it. Demonstrate that you are trustworthy and above petty office rumors.

Take smart risks

Doing everything like everyone else will never get you ahead in the workplace. Set yourself apart by taking smart risks. Bring your ideas forward, speak up, take on big responsibilities, be a leader. Of course, you’ll want to make sure you’re making strides before you make waves.

How will you make an effort to stand out this year? Let me know in the comments or send me a message outlining your plan. This is YOUR year. Go get it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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This is Part Three of my four-part courage series. Last week’s discussion was on EVERYDAY COURAGE. 

Courage to Recover from Setbacks

It will happen. Things won’t go quite the way you planned. You’ll face unexpected delays, difficult coworkers or bosses, health issues, uncooperative customers, or any number of other setbacks that could derail your forward momentum and your confidence. What do you do when the train careens off the tracks?

Develop a plan to get back on.

If you’re able to anticipate a possible setback (i.e. Customer ABC has been hinting that they’re thinking about going with a different company), plan ahead. Come up with some “worst case scenario options” and write them down.

If the setback sneaks up on you (as in most cases), practice being adaptable and resilient. One of the ways to do that is by having a Growth Mindset. When you have a growth mindset, you don’t think of obstacles as hopeless problems, but as opportunities to improve and develop a new solution. You are aware that every challenge you face only makes you stronger and more nimble.

What are some practical ways to recover from setbacks?

  • Picture your future success (visualization is powerful!)
  • Practice a growth mindset
  • Hold a brainstorming or mind mapping session (by yourself or with your team) to come up with innovative new solutions
  • Be kind to yourself (being hard on yourself will only lead to more stress and burnout)

OKAY, your turn. Jot down a few answers to these workbook questions:

1. When you face a challenge, which resources could you tap into to help? Which people?

 

2. What are some ways you can rebuild your confidence and enthusiasm to overcome obstacles?

 

3. How will you be kind to yourself if you face a failure or setback? List five ways you could treat yourself well during a challenging period.

 

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Capture Your Everyday Courage

Last week, we talked about setting courageous goals and making an action plan for when things don’t go quite as expected. This week, I’d like to address everyday courage—the small, bold actions that can lead to big things.

If you’re going to achieve major changes this year (a promotion, a healthier lifestyle, a better social life, a new career path, etc.) you’ll need to step into every single day with a courageous mindset. Your road to success will be filled with ruts, bumps, and fallen trees blocking the way. How will you be able to overcome these everyday obstacles and focus on the bigger picture?

Start with the 5 P’s:

  • Prepare

When you know a situation is coming up that will require courage, be sure to prepare. Your preparation will help you feel more confident when going into the difficult situation.

  • Pep Talk

Before engaging in a tough conversation, heading into an important meeting, or even trying a new workout at the gym, give yourself a pep talk. Repeat an affirmation or take a few moments to visualize your success.

  • Power Pose

Try this 2-minute power-boosting technique.

  • Project Energy

When you project positive energy through your body language and voice, your confidence will naturally grow.

  • Plan B

Creating a Plan B will give you something solid to fall back on when your initial plan didn’t fly. Take time to think of alternatives “best routes” whenever you’re diving into something new or trying to make a change.

 

For more the 5 P’s, watch this 2-minute video!

NOW, for the workbook part:

  1. Next time you need to act courageously, what will your pep talk be? Write out a few lines that you can recite to yourself when the time comes.

 

  1. How will you act with confidence this week? List three ways you’ll demonstrate your self-assuredness (speaking up, practicing your power pose, doing something you don’t want to do, etc.)

 

 

  1. Think about the next event/meeting/situation where you’ll need to tap into your courage. How will you prepare? What “Plan B” ideas do you have, in case things don’t go according to plan?

 

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Setting Courageous Goals

As you move forward into the New Year, it’s a good idea to pause, reflect, and think about how you would like your year to go. What are your goals and stretch goals? How do you picture your ideal year? What changes do you have to make to get there?

No matter what you resolve to do this year, you’re going to need a little (or a lot!) of help from one key tool: Courage.

Courage is the root of all bold action. It is what drives us to speak up, go to the gym, ask for the raise, seek a new job, or dare to dream big.

This month, we’re going to work on your courage. In a series of four blog posts, I’ll dive into different aspects of courage and give you activities to help boost and focus your courage.

This week, let’s think about courage in relation to goal-setting:

 

  1. What are your big goals for the year?

 

  1. What major changes will you have to make to reach those goals?

 

  1. What are some potential setbacks or roadblocks you might encounter?

 

  1. When those roadblocks occur, what will you do? How will you act? Create a “courage plan” to map out how you’ll overcome your roadblocks and move forward with your goals.

 

COURAGE NOTE: Remember that stumbling blocks are actually good for your development. They help you become a more nimble problem-solver, resilient, and adaptable. When you figure out how to overcome a problem, it will be easier to face a similar kind of issue down the road. SO: face your obstacles head-on!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Confident conversations and Insights Discovery

It’s possible to have an assertive, confident conversation without seeming pushy or overbearing. When approached tactfully, your self-assured behavior can have a wholly positive effect; it can motivate others to action, resolve conflicts, and bolster your leadership.

Utilize the concepts from the Insights Discovery program (read about this cutting-edge program in a prior blog post) to effectively and confidently talk with people of all communication preferences. No matter if a person is action-oriented, social, analytical and detail-oriented, or highly empathetic, you can use the below model to discuss just about anything with confidence.

1. Present the facts

When the facts are on your side, your confidence will inevitably increase. Laying out what happened from a neutral standpoint will appeal to those who are fact-driven and methodical.

2. Add emotion

Be candid about your feelings. If a certain situation or action made you feel angry or disappointed, let the other party know. Confident people are generally open, including with their emotions. When you put everything out on the table, you intentionally make yourself vulnerable which not only gives you a measure of control over your emotions, but can also help others realize that they, too, can open up.

3. Empathize

When you can relate to others, their confidence in you grows (which, in turn, increases your confidence). While talking with others, take a moment to think about their perspective and empathize. Then, relay your understanding of the other person’s perspective. For instance: “I know your department’s been experiencing some reshuffling. Am I right in assuming that the changes have delayed your team’s project?” Be sure to utilize good listening when tapping into your empathy!

4. Take action

Concluding your conversations with a plan of attack conveys a high level of confidence and competence. Don’t bulldoze others opinions, but also don’t be afraid to make suggestions if you have thoughts or opinions you’d like to share.

A well-rounded conversation includes facts, emotion, empathy, and action. Go into a discussion feeling confident and comfortable that you’ll be able to effectively communicate with anyone, no matter their personality or communication preferences.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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