Category Archives: Discussions
November 4, 2026 Finding Gratitude (even when times are tough)
I get it. It’s not always easy to feel grateful when life is difficult. You might be experiencing personal crises, or you may be troubled by the state of the world. Whatever the case, I’m here to tell you that there’s always a reason to be grateful. You just have to look for it.
I know this is easier said than done. At times, you might genuinely think there is little reason to feel or express gratitude. That’s fine, but I’d invite you to sit quietly with those feelings for a while. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, start to be curious. Ask yourself what’s bogging you down the most, and if that “thing” went away, what would remain? What good parts of your life would be illuminated once the cloud has lifted?
There are several different ways to find and focus on gratitude. Some methods may resonate; others may not. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Create a Quiet Space
Sometimes, life moves so quickly that we forget to slow down, to breathe, to be still (even for a few minutes). Try setting aside a block of time every day for quiet contemplation. This could be in your car after work, in the morning when you first get up, or any other time when you can be alone with your thoughts. Then, you might try to meditate or reflect on gratitude, or journal about it, or make a list of three things that bring you joy. Use this quiet time as a bridge to gratitude.
Go Small
If things are overwhelming right now, you might find gratitude by “going small” and thinking about the little things in life that are going well in this moment. For example, instead of focusing on a family crisis or the latest political or economic turmoil, you might think about your home and how grateful you are for your comfortable couch, your warm bed, the books on your shelves. Or you might think about yourself and the incredible machine of your body. Are you able to go on walks? Do your hands allow you to draw or cook a meal or hug your loved ones? Consider what small things in life give you joy, peace, and/or satisfaction. Sometimes the “simple things” in our lives are actually miraculous and worthy of gratitude.
Contemplate Connections
I guarantee that you mean a lot to at least one person, if not dozens. You make an impact in others’ lives every day, whether you see it or not. It’s easy to take these connections for granted—your spouse, your children, your long-time friends, your co-workers, the people you casually bump into in your neighborhood or at the grocery store—but these are connections worth celebrating! Think about a connection that brings you joy (or has brought you joy lately) and channel your gratitude toward that.
Even if times are tough and gratitude seems difficult to grasp, I am certain you can find something (no matter how small) to be grateful for. In my own life, I have many reasons to feel gratitude: my family, my wonderful friends, my community, my travel. And, as I’m winding down my business, UXL, I feel profoundly grateful for all the support I’ve experienced from clients, blog readers, businesses, and my cheerleaders. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Tags: finding gratitude, giving thanks, learning to be thankful, life of gratitude, margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith life coach
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Discussions
September 10, 2025 When Inviting Disagreement is a Good Thing
Leaders are taught to be confident and in charge. These can be great attributes, and it certainly doesn’t serve to be timid or self-conscious, but it’s possible to take these traits to an extreme. When that happens, the leader can inadvertently shut down others, which can stifle innovation and creativity, as well as decrease morale.
It may seem strange to welcome disagreement as a leader. After all, who likes to argue? But this is really just another way of saying that discussion, input, and alternative perspectives are welcome. A leader might think they’re being strong and efficient by putting forth a single plan and instructing their team on how to follow it. But in truth, they are closing the door on collaboration.
When teams collaborate to create a solution or come up with a plan, a few things happen. First, more voices are heard right away, which increases the chance of greater innovation and ingenuity. Additionally, when groups can have open discussions, they’re more likely to troubleshoot and catch potential problems before they even occur. And once a plan is agreed on, the team has more buy-in than they would if they simply had been handed a plan by the team leader.
- How can you facilitate discussion and encourage productive disagreement? Open the floor by using statements that welcome collaborative planning.
- Our annual budget is due next week. I was ready to make the same suggestions as last year, but I’d like your input on this. What haven’t I considered?
- The holiday party is coming up. What would your ideal event look like?
- We’re trying to tap into new customer markets. Instead of using the same methods, I’d love to hear your perspectives and ideas on what we could be doing.
Additionally, if you do decide to state your opinion or perspective, make it clear that you’re open to other options. Use phrases like:
- I welcome your input
- What do others think?
- What haven’t I thought of?
- Is there any aspect of this that doesn’t make sense?
- What improvements or alternatives would you suggest?
Then, make sure you are truly listening to suggestions and open to other viewpoints and ideas.
Leadership involves a certain amount of confidence, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing your team with set ideas and rigid agendas. The most effective leaders open the floor for discussion and respect all ideas, even allowing room for disagreement.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: how to have a productive discussion, Inviting disagreement as a leader, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, opening floor for discussion, productive disagreement
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Discussions
July 23, 2025 What is Collective Grief? (and how could it be affecting you)
Grief is a complex emotion. Although it is often associated with bereavement and death, it can crop up in several other ways. You can grieve a former job, a house or city where you used to live, or a former lifestyle you once had. The common thread is loss. To make matters more complicated, grief can be a collective experience.
What is Collective Grief?
Collective grief is a term used to describe the sentiment of loss as experienced by a group of people. The group can be quite large (i.e. an entire nation) or smaller (a family or community group). Collective grief is often associated with a major tragedy or difficulty—a natural disaster, war, financial turmoil, a pandemic, etc. This type of upheaval can result in a sense of loss, or the feeling that things will never be the same.
If you are an empathetic person, you do not necessarily have to experience a certain tragedy or its side effects firsthand to go through grief or loss. For example, you might mourn the loss of a city that was decimated by an earthquake, or you may grieve for the families of those who have been jailed or deported. This type of grief isn’t any less valid. It just means you’re human, and you care for your fellow human beings.
Collective grief can be powerful and long-lasting. Furthermore, it’s possible to experience this type of grief without even realizing it.
How Collective Grief Can Show Up in Your Life
When you’ve been affected by an event or a change, your behavior or outlook may be altered, whether subtly or overt. Here are five ways you might manifest collective grief in everyday life:
- Difficulty Concentrating
When you’re enduring grief, you may find your attention wandering or have difficulty focusing on tasks. This can be exacerbated during times of collective grief, as the weight of the situation can feel overwhelming.
- Increased Irritability
Grief can make you feel on edge, causing you to snap at loved ones or co-workers more easily. This short temper may be a way of coping with the underlying emotional turmoil. The important thing is to recognize when you’re behaving irrationally, so you can make a concerted effort to amend this behavior.
- Changes in Sleep or Appetite
You may find yourself sleeping more or less than usual, or experiencing a loss of appetite. These physiological changes are the body’s way of dealing with the stress of grief. Again, awareness is key. If you’re noticing changes in sleep or appetite, it’s a good idea to address these issues head on (possibly with the guidance and support of a professional).
- Decreased Productivity
During periods of collective grief, you may find it harder to complete tasks or maintain your usual level of productivity. This can stem from the emotional and mental drain that comes with processing widespread loss or upheaval. It’s important to be patient with yourself during these times.
- Feeling Hopeless or Downtrodden
When experiencing collective grief, you may find yourself feeling defeated or hopeless, as the magnitude of the situation can feel overwhelming. This sense of despair can make it difficult to see a path forward. It’s important to remember that these feelings are a natural response to loss and change, and that with time and self-compassion, they will eventually subside.
The experience of collective grief can be isolating, as the loss or upheaval may be felt by a large group, yet each person’s individual response can vary. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are a natural reaction and to seek support from others who may be going through a similar process. By acknowledging the collective nature of the grief, individuals can find solace in the shared experience and work towards healing together. Reaching out to a mental health professional or joining a support group can provide valuable tools for navigating the complexities of collective grief.
Tags: Collective grief and its effects, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith professional speaker, overcoming collective grief, recognizing affect of collective grief, what is collective grief
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Discussions
