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Category Archives: Thrive at Work

It’s easy to say yes. We naturally aim to please our co-workers and supervisors; we want to look good in the eyes of the company and get that raise or earn that promotion. But saying yes can be dangerous. If you say yes to everything—every assignment, every request, every invitation—you’ll end up stretching yourself too thin and you’ll possibly end up taking on work that isn’t in your sweet spot or doing things that go against your code of ethics.

Though I’m a proponent of trying new things and being agreeable, there are times when it is in your best interest to give a firm N-O. Here are three scenarios where saying “No” is the best course of action (accompanied by three strategies to pull it off):

1. You have too much on your plate.

If you feel your workload growing out of control and can tell the quality of your work is sharply declining, it’s time to say no. How to do it? The next time your project leader tries to assign you something new, do not immediately say yes. Arrange to meet one-on-one (it is much easier to reason with someone one-on-one than in a group) and lay out your reasons for not wanting to take on the project.

Be prepared. Make a spreadsheet that clearly displays the projects you are currently tackling and how much time you spend each day on each project. Also, come into the meeting with a counter-proposal in mind. If you know of someone else who might have the capacity (and desire) to take on the project, suggest that person to your project leader (be sure to get that individual’s approval ahead of time).

Alternatively, you could suggest a future date that would work for you to start the project (i.e. “I’m busy from now until the end of the May, but I could start working on this project in June.”)

2. You are being given work that is not in your “sweet spot.”

This is a tough one, but ultimately, if you are constantly handed work that does not align with your areas of expertise, you are doing both your company and yourself a disservice. Your company won’t receive the best possible work and you’ll be straying from your career goals.

So, how to say no? Again, a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor is helpful in this situation. Explain to her what your ultimate goals are and what kind of projects you prefer. One of the best things you can do in this situation is approach it with confidence and decisiveness. Know where you’d like to be heading and explain, confidently, how you’d like to get there.

Ultimately, if your company is not supportive of your career goals (or if you find that the type of work you do consistently does not align with your sweet spot), it is time to start searching for something new, either inside or outside your current company.

3. Saying yes compromises your values.

There are times when it just does not feel good to say yes. Perhaps you agree to attend a late-night strategy session, knowing that your daughter has a piano recital that night. Or perhaps a co-worker dumps several assignments on your lap that are really her responsibility, not yours. Or maybe you’ve had to sacrifice your health or nightly down-time because of all the projects you’ve agreed to do. Whatever the case, sometimes saying yes is simply not the right decision.

How to say no? First of all, know your priorities. Does your family come first? Your health? Your mental wellbeing? When one of the things that’s important in your life becomes compromised, it’s time to say no. Keep an open line of communication with your boss and let him know when you feel like work is tipping the scales of your work-life balance.

And another thing: think before you say yes. Always take a moment to pause, assess the situation, and make a deliberate decision. If that means waiting a day or two to mull over the pros and cons, so be it. Ultimately, you need to feel good about agreeing to do something before you say “yes.”

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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two business people high fiving at a table with a laptop between them

With retirement from UXL on the horizon, I have been reflecting on various lessons I’ve learned as a manager, a career coach, and a mentor. One of the lessons that came to mind recently is how we each have different strengths, interests, and attributes. This diversity of thinking and being is an incredible asset to the workplace. With the right mix of creatives, “techies,” leaders, organizers, etc., an organization can operate more smoothly and have a greater reach.

This acceptance of variety/diversity in the workplace allows people to really stretch their abilities and be their full selves—to capitalize on their strengths and interests. Furthermore, as an individual contributor, you often have the power to lean into your strengths and deflect or delegate assignments that are not a great fit.

While it may not seem “sporting” to pass a certain task or project to another, it can ultimately be the best option for all parties involved. I think about a time when I was assigned a project that was not a great fit. I waffled for a while, trying to figure out how to approach it, and then it dawned on me: My boss didn’t care who completed this project, he just wanted it done. With this in mind, I decided to approach my colleague Tom, who was much better suited to the project than I was. He was analytical, where I was more creative. He enjoyed spreadsheets and charts, while I tended to get sleepy just looking at them!

In exchange, I picked up one of the projects on Tom’s plate that was better suited to my skillset and interests. We kept our boss in the loop about the switch and, as suspected, he didn’t care which people tackled the projects, as long as they were completed satisfactorily. With our tasks ahead of us, Tom and I worked on our respective projects, kept in touch, and handed off the work when we were done. The results were great, and we were encouraged to collaborate in this way for future projects.

This story brings up several lessons, including the following:

Be honest with yourself. Recognize both your strengths and shortcomings, and have the humility to admit when you’re in over your head (or when you’re simply uninterested in or put off by a project or task).

Recognize others’ strengths. Make an effort to learn about your colleagues, and start building an understanding of their abilities and interests. Talk openly and honestly with them to get a sense of who they are as an individual, and what makes them “tick.”

Frame your ask in a positive way. Just because you’re dreading a certain assignment doesn’t mean it’s an “undesirable” task. Different people are drawn to different types of work. Some people enjoy the rhythm and logic of data entry. Some like contacting/surveying customers. Others revel in all things creative and truly shine when it comes to brainstorming ideas or coming up with imaginative designs. In other words, handing someone an unwanted assign isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it just doesn’t fit with your disposition or abilities.

Offer to reciprocate. Whether immediately or down the road, it’s important to be open to reciprocating the work. Make it clear that you will gladly take on one of your colleague’s unwanted tasks in exchange for them taking on yours.

Results are more important than the path. This is something I’ve learned over and over. It doesn’t really matter how an individual or group winds up at the “end point.” What matters are the results. If achieving those results means shifting project responsibilities, then most people will be open to that shift.

We all have varying strengths, interests, and wheelhouses. Instead of letting an undesirable project eat away at you, consider enlisting help from others or shifting project responsibilities. It doesn’t serve you, your work team, OR the business to struggle and ultimately produce subpar work. In short, play to your strengths.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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woman with reddish blonde hair and bangs wearing a pale-blue button-up shirt looking to the side and smiling

When I was ramping up the career coaching side of my business in 2011, the atmosphere was much different than it is today. As a nation, we had made our way through and out of the Great Recession, and companies were once again enthusiastic about hiring. Additionally, the younger members of the workforce were approaching it with a different mentality than past generations, knowing that the best way to climb the ladder (in terms of both position and pay) was to change jobs periodically. They were no longer being rewarded for staying in one place, and they knew it. So, job hopping became the norm.

Today, however, things have slowed considerably and the job numbers (when they’re released) look dismal. Economic growth is shrinking, and the “AI bubble” that is helping to keep the economy afloat is expected to pop at any time. In this environment, employers are more cautious about hiring, and employees are more reluctant to leave their current jobs (knowing that finding another one may be extremely difficult).

So, what do you do in this situation if you’re discontent with your job? One approach is to stay put for now and make the best of your circumstances. Of course, if your job and/or boss are absolutely terrible, you might want to plan your exit, BUT if you’re simply dealing with a few less-than-ideal aspects of your job, you could try staying and shaping your professional future within your current role. Here are four approaches you could take:

Set Clear Boundaries

The workplace can quickly become toxic if bosses or co-workers overstep your boundaries. Do you feel pressured to reply to emails after hours? Are you frequently asked to do tasks outside your professional scope? Do you feel pressured to pick up others’ slack? All of these are signs that your boundaries are being crossed.

To prevent this, practice tactfully saying “No.”

“That’s outside of my scope, so I think this would be better suited to someone in the IT department.”

“I have too much on my plate right now to take that on by the deadline.”

And if the problem has to do with after-hours calls or emails, simply do not respond until normal business hours. When you establish that this is the norm, you empower others to do the same.

Switch/Redefine Your Role

If you’re discontent with your current work, you may want to explore your options within the organization. Is there latitude to take on a different set of tasks than the ones you’re currently doing? Could you reshape your role? Or, perhaps, move to a different department within the organization? Before abandoning the entire company, it’s a good idea to look internally for other options.

Befriend Colleagues

You don’t have to be best friends with your work colleagues, but it is incredibly helpful to be friendly with each other. Having work friends or allies can help you in numerous ways. You can talk over problems you’re experiencing, you can support and uplift each other, you can ask each other questions about projects or tasks, etc. Even if you work remotely, it’s possible to make work friends by simply being a little more open, vulnerable (without oversharing), and friendly. Ask others about their lives and share a little about yours. Swap some stories and laughs. Simply put: don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and be yourself.

Take Advantage of Opportunities

Whether education training, office book clubs, ERGs, or volunteer opportunities, it can be motivating to become more deeply involved in your workplace. Additionally, some of the offerings could help you learn valuable new skills that could be carried over to a new job in the future. In nearly every role, you have the power to shape it—and improve it—in some way, no matter how small. Consider your position and what you can do this week (or today!) to make that happen.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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