Tag Archives: Personal Growth
March 8, 2023 The Courage to Change Your Mind
A version of this post was first published on July 29, 2020.
“Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing.”
Brandon Sanderson, Author of Oathbringer
It takes courage to admit when you’re wrong, and it takes even more courage to shift your perspective and open yourself to change. The older we get, the easier it is to do things the same way day in, day out. We become entrenched in our beliefs, and it becomes more and more difficult to shift our way of thinking.
In psychology, this “set in your ways” attitude is called mental rigidity.
While it’s normal and healthy to have a routine, mental rigidity goes a step further. It limits how you see the world, makes you less adaptable, and causes you to be closed off to new ideas or perspectives. As one article puts it, “Mental rigidity cuts off the wings you need for imagination, improvement, and exploring new places.”
Mental rigidity can also make it difficult to have empathy–to walk a mile in another’s shoes. We become accustomed to one reality, one way of life, and that becomes the ONLY way. However, different people hail from different backgrounds and have different experiences and beliefs. We can’t necessarily KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling, but we can attempt to UNDERSTAND.
When you introduce yourself to different perspectives, beliefs, and vantage points, you do something a little scary: You open yourself to the possibility that your deeply entrenched attitudes and ways to thinking might change.
Change is never easy, especially when others expect you to remain the same. When you begin to shift your perspective or beliefs, you might face criticism from those who think you’re a “hypocrite” or “wishy-washy.”
I challenge you to stick to your guns and make an honest effort to change, if you believe that change is necessary. Recognize that you are doing yourself a service in the long run, and others’ snide remarks can’t stop you from continuing to learn and grow.
On the same token, be gracious to those who change their minds. No one has all the answers, and it’s okay to learn and evolve. In fact, it is healthy.
So, be fearless. Challenge your assumptions and be bold enough to get uncomfortable. It is only when we dare to step outside our comfort zones that we can truly expand our horizons and potentially change our points of view.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: changing mindset, Changing Your Mind, courage to change your mind, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, Personal Growth
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Transitions
March 8, 2017 The #1 Way to Grow in Your Career
There are many ways to grow and flourish within your career. You can take classes or expand your skills through research and application. You can find a mentor and learn from their experiences. You can take on new and diverse projects in order to stretch yourself and your abilities.
But at the heart of it all is one key element: the ability and the willingness to be COACHABLE.
When you’re coachable, you open yourself up to possibilities. You acknowledge that you don’t know everything and are willing to accept feedback and learn. You admit that you are sometimes wrong and look for ways to improve your current way of thinking/doing/behaving.
It isn’t always easy to be coachable. Many of us (especially if we’ve been in the same job for quite a while) tend to believe that our way is the best and leave little room for criticism or critique. It’s time to turn that kind of thinking around.
Start by asking for feedback.
Regularly ask your co-workers and superiors for feedback and then LISTEN to what they have to say. It doesn’t have to be in a formal meeting; it might be as simple as approaching a co-worker and saying, “Hey, Sally. How do you think my presentation went? Would you have changed any of the slides? Or maybe emphasized other material?”
Ask clarifying or follow-up questions if need-be. And remember to keep your defensive side in check! Even if you don’t agree with the feedback, take it gracefully. Say something like, “That’s an interesting take, Sally. I hadn’t seen it from that angle before.”
Keep in mind that not all feedback is quality feedback. Take your time to mull it over or get a second opinion (For more tactics and tricks on how to receive and utilize feedback, please see December’s newsletter).
When you’re coachable, you seek to expand your knowledge. Beyond soliciting feedback, start exploring ways to build or update your skills through webinars, in-person classes, training workshops, or one-on-one meetings with experts in your field. If your workplace is not proactive in seeking those opportunities, you may have to hunt for them on your own. Don’t be afraid to approach your boss and ask if the company could sponsor you (and your co-workers) in a specific learning program. If nothing else, you’ll open up a dialogue about advanced training.
Another way to grow your skills through coaching is to seek a mentor or be a mentor.
If you’re new to a company, new to a certain position, or seeking to advance within the company, a mentor can help you achieve those aims. If your workplace doesn’t have a formal mentoring program, seek a mentor on your own and invite that person to meet with you every now and again. Start small! You might scare people off if they think mentorship is too big of a commitment. Ask if they’ll meet with you for lunch once or twice a month, and go from there.
On the flip side, if you’ve been with your company a while, consider being a mentor. As a mentor, you’ll learn to see the company with new eyes and you may begin to explore the company and your position in ways that you hadn’t previously considered.
You have endless potential! Grow and evolve in your career by being coachable.
Seeking further guidance? Please feel free to contact me today.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: ask clarifying questions, asking for feedback, be coachable, benefits of mentoring, grow career, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith minneapolis, Personal Growth, your coachability
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- Posted under Leadership, Thrive at Work
November 30, 2016 Life as a Web (don’t blow your connections!)
When I talk to clients about building up their personal brands, I remind them that a personal brand should be consistent and reliable. This is your reputation, the overall traits that people see in you. If you behave one way with a certain group of people and then modify your behavior drastically with another group, people will pick up on that. They will begin to question your integrity and authenticity, and your personal brand will mostly likely take a hit.
Of course, it’s a good idea to modify your actions slightly (you might have a more casual approach with co-workers than clients, for instance), but your true self should remain consistent. I talk about this concept quite a bit in my chapter on authenticity in the Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge and in various blog posts about authenticity and authentic leadership.
One thing to keep in mind when you’re focusing on your personal brand is that we live in a web. You aren’t just spinning in your own orbit, having one-off conversations with a manager here, a prospective client there. Your actions and your words can have a far-reaching effect.
I’ve personally experienced this effect during my time at 3M. People would know my reputation as a go-getter and an”idea person” before I even introduced myself. Word has a way of spreading and, because of that, the people at 3M entrusted me to take on new, experimental projects, knowing I had built up a reputation of innovation and ambition.
In your own world, your reputation might either be built or shattered by the things you say on social media, your replies (or lack of replies) to emails, your courteousness or curtness, your ability to meet deadlines (or ignore them). And you know what? The web is getting smaller. We are all linked through digital channels (Facebook, LinkedIn, Slack, email records) and our actions can be easily monitored (browser history, time stamps on email messages). Why not be transparent?
Putting your best, genuine self forward is the surest way to develop a personal brand that is consistent, trustworthy, and YOU.
FURTHER READING:
The 5 Minute Personal Branding Pep Talk
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: Better Personal Branding, career coach Margaret Smith, career coach Minneapolis, connection web, Improve Personal Branding, personal branding Minneapolis, Personal Growth, reputation building, Twin Cities career coach
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