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“Creating Successful Leaders”

March 3, 2021 4 Ways to Boost Your Resilience

If you’re like many people I know, you’re feeling a bit worn out and beat down. Maybe you’re feeling isolated or overwhelmed by work or life commitments. Maybe you’re sick and tired of cold weather. Or maybe you’re simply weary from the long pandemic and the unusual route our lives have taken over the past year. Whatever the case, now is the time to turn inward for a time and work on building up your resilience.

Building resilience takes time and effort. It’s an ongoing process–something you’ll have to chip away at throughout your life. But the effort is worth it. Your resilience will help you weather life’s storms and prepare you to overcome the everyday annoyances (flat tires, illnesses, burnt dinners, missed deadlines) that we often encounter.

How can you build your resilience and strengthen your mental fortitude? Try one or a few of these four methods:

1. Imagine yourself on the other side

If you’re staring down a particularly troubling problem OR even if you’re feeling less than your best, try thinking about the future. Take a few minutes to sit quietly and imagine life AFTER you’ve overcome your problems. How do you feel? What does life look like? What are you doing?

Thinking about a bright future does two things:

1) It opens you to the possibility that things CAN and WILL get better. This puts you in a better place, mentally and emotionally.

2) It gets you into problem-solving mode. Instead of dwelling on your current woes, you’ll be thinking ahead, which can help you begin to brainstorm how to get to your desired state.

2. Pay attention to your thoughts

You are what you think. If you’re constantly down on yourself, pessimistic, and hopeless, those thoughts will become reality. Thoughts are powerful. They frame our entire existence and carry us from day to day. If you are constantly thinking you can’t do something, you probably won’t do it. It’s really that simple.

Start paying attention to what goes through your mind. If you catch yourself thinking negatively about something, pause and take a step back. How can you reframe that thought? What narrative can you tell yourself instead? What silver lining or bit of hope can you focus on instead of negative aspects? Tuning in and challenging your pessimistic thoughts can set you up to be more resilient and able to roll with the punches.

For more advice on overcoming negative self-talk, please CLICK to read my past blog post on the subject.

3. Practice good self-care

When you’re feeling downtrodden, it could be that you simply need to take some meaningful time for yourself to rejuvenate and reinvigorate. Taking a break (even a short one) can renew your confidence, energize you, and prepare you to face the challenges that lie ahead. If you’d like a few self-care ideas, click HERE.

4. Reach out to others

You don’t have to build resilience on your own. In fact, it’s healthy to reach out to others when you’re feeling low and lean on them for a little support. Seek out those who are caring and compassionate, good listeners, and empathetic. At times, all you really need is a listening ear–someone to help you process difficult moments. Of course, it’s not fair to take, take, take and never give back. Be there for others when they need you, too. The best relationships are reciprocal, and chances are, you’ll find satisfaction in helping others on their journeys as well.

It’s best to reach out to multiple people (or even support groups or a counselor), so you’re not fully reliant on one person. This can be your web–a network of individuals who can catch you when you fall and help you bounce back.

You ARE a resilient person and you CAN make it through difficult times. Make a concerted effort to practice self-reflection, take good care of yourself, and reach out to others when you need a little extra support. You’ve got this.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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February 24, 2021 Turning Around a “Woe is Me” Mentality

When things are tough, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. That’s a perfectly normal and natural reaction. However, problems ensue when that “woe is me” mentality becomes long-term and begins to affect other areas of your life. You might start to blame other people or circumstances for your problems while, at the same time, doing nothing to fix them.

How can you escape a “woe is me” mentality? Try the following 4 suggestions:

1. Take Ownership

Nobody likes failures, but it doesn’t do a lick of good to blame others. Take ownership for your role in the failure, even if others did contribute to it. This helps shift you from pointing fingers to problem solving.

2. Recognize That Pity Parties are Unproductive

Feeling sorry for yourself might feel good for a while (no harm in eating a few scoops of ice cream and watching a movie while you pout!), but it is ultimately unproductive. Recognize that what you’re feeling can and should be a non-permanent state. Allow yourself to experience those feelings of sadness or disappointment, and then resolve to move on.

3. Move Into Problem-Solving Mode

Though it can be tempting to wallow at times, remind yourself that you’re stronger than that. The next time you feel entrenched in sadness, challenge yourself to problem solve. This could be as simple as journaling about your situation, or as involved as creating a mind map or bringing together your team to brainstorm some solutions.

4. Focus on Your Wins

When you’re feeling down about a failure, attempt to focus on the positive. No matter how bad things get, there is always a bright side. Think about the things that have gone well recently, and how to replicate them. Remind yourself that you do experience little victories in life (landing a certain job, getting a positive annual review, earning a bonus, nailing a certain project, coming up with a creative solution, etc., etc.). Focus on those wins and use that energy to propel you forward. 

Failure isn’t forever. If you’re upset about a recent obstacle or pitfall, that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel that way for a time, and then move on. Get yourself into a problem-solving mentality and leave your failure in the dust.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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February 17, 2021 The Best Teams are Accountable Teams

It’s easy to let a few things slide. It’s easy to ignore a few missed deadlines, a few late meetings. But little mistakes can easily snowball into major issues, and soon you might find yourself having some tough conversations to straighten things out.

That’s why it’s best to draw a line in the sand right away and hold your team members accountable for their actions.

As a leader, enforcing accountability is part of your role. Not only does it help projects and tasks run smoothly, it also improves relationships among team members. Those who always complete their assignments and meet their deadlines might begin to feel bitter toward those who do not. It is up to you to convey that everyone is on the same level and will be held to the same standards.

To hold your team accountable, follow these Do’s and Do Not’s:

DO make your expectations clear. Set clear deadlines and make sure everyone understands their task or role.

DO act swiftly and fairly if someone falls short. Call that person into your office, ask them why they failed to meet expectations, and discuss disciplinary actions which fit the violation (failing to complete an assignment for a client is much different than showing up two minutes late for a meeting).

DO make reasonable exceptions. If someone spaces on a Zoom meeting because their child had a medical emergency, that’s understandable. If, however, this becomes a repeated pattern, it’s a good idea to have a frank and honest conversation with this person.

DO NOT play favorites. Everyone should adhere to the same set of expectations.

DO make consequences clear. Failure to deliver might directly affect a person’s bonus, lead to a restructuring of their responsibilities, or (in worse-case scenarios) lead to a dismissal.

DO NOT hold yourself to different standards. You are also part of the team.

DO hold one-on-one meetings to convey the seriousness of the matter.

DO convey that accountability is an important part of teamwork, and set your expectations right away.

Accountability is a crucial component of any effective team. Team members should not only feel accountable to their team leader and clients, but also to each other. The best teams are like a rowing crew—they’re all in the same boat, and need to work together to make it move forward.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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