August 24, 2016 What Unites Us (Reflections from Poland)
As I wrote about in a couple past blog posts (about volunteerism and simplifying your life), I recently spent 15 days in Poland, volunteering for World Youth Day. The experience was powerful, to say the least. Every day, I witnessed thousands upon thousands of young people from all across the world united in a common purpose. But one of the things that struck me most was the warm welcome we received, both from the people of Poland and from the other pilgrims.
As an American, I don’t necessarily expect other countries to welcome me with open arms. There are many ugly preconceived notions about Americans (that we’re spoiled, loud, bullies, etc.), some of which can be true, depending on the American! Many countries also disagree with our foreign policy decisions. With that in mind, I was absolutely shocked when the group of Americans with whom I was traveling experienced nothing but friendly greetings and amicable interactions.
As we traveled through the beautiful Polish countryside and visited quiet, quaint villages that brimmed with amazing history, we were graciously welcomed by the Polish people. They were proud to be hosting World Youth Day and happy that we had traveled to their country to experience the event. Each person in my group did a home stay with a Polish family and, despite language barriers, we were treated respectfully, fed well, and received incredible hospitality.
At the event itself, my group of American youths met and mingled with other youths from 167 countries around the globe. Instead of focusing on their differences and the gaps between them, they focused on their similarities and the things that bound them together. It melted my heart to see so many diverse people hanging out together, eating together, playing Frisbee together (I even saw some nuns and priests tossing a disc around!), getting to know each other…all in a peaceful, harmonious setting.
I think a lot of folks, including our world leaders, could learn from the example of these young people. They focused on building bridges, rather than putting up walls between one another.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: bridge interpersonal gaps, lessons from Poland, live united, margaret smith career coach, stand united, uniting diverse groups of people, What unites us, World Youth Day
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- Posted under Changing Your Life, Communication, Discussions
August 17, 2016 Change your thinking; Change your life
Most of us believe that if we work hard, we’ll be successful and if we’re successful, we’ll be happy. While that sounds logical, it may not be the case. Psychologist Shawn Achor studies “positive psychology” and the human tendency to be unsatisfied, no matter how good our circumstances seem to outsiders.
He studied students at Harvard and found that new students were extremely happy during the first couple weeks of enrollment, but then happiness dropped precipitously and the students began feeling more discontent, stressed, and pessimistic. Through this study and several others, Achor has concluded that your external factors cannot predict your happiness level. He has found that 90% of your long-term happiness is predicted by how your brain processes the world.
In other words, your personal happiness depends on YOU!
But how can you elevate your positivity and, thus, improve your career and personal life? In his TED Talk, Achor urges us to focus on small acts that create ripples of positivity. These acts could be as simple as journaling, regular exercise, daily meditation, random acts of kindness, or listing three things for which you are grateful at the start of each day.
When people began implementing these small doses of positivity in to their lives, Achor found that they made a huge impact. Instead of being constantly dissatisfied, people began seeing the world through an optimistic lens. And that’s important because a “happy brain,” according to Achor’s research, is a high-functioning brain. He calls this the happiness advantage and has found that when we are in a positive frame of mind, our creativity, intelligence, and energy levels are all given a boost.
To learn more, please watch Achor’s remarkable TED Talk:
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: benefits of positivity, career coach Margaret Smith, happy brain, shawn achor happiness, TED Talk Shawn Achor, the happiness advantage, UXL blog
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
August 10, 2016 Good Habit, Bad Habit
We are creatures of habit.
Most of us have a daily routine that we stick to—waking up at a certain time, making coffee, eating breakfast, commuting to work. It’s how we bring order to our lives and make sense of the day. For those of you who follow a set routine, you understand the power of habit. What happens to your day if, say, you’re unable to have your morning coffee? Or you get stuck in traffic on the way to the office? Things tend to feel strange and your day may feel off-kilter.
That’s why bad habits are so hard to break.
A habit, whether good or bad, is comfortable. It’s part of the fabric of your life. If, for example, you begin working through lunch and eating food purchased from the vending machine, after a while that will feel normal and the habit will be hard to break. On the flip side, if you make sure to pack yourself a nutritious lunch every day and take time away from your desk to eat it, you’ll get used to that routine.
Even though you may consciously realize that your bad habits may cause lasting, damaging effects, it’s difficult to break away from them. In their book, The Power of Focus, authors and entrepreneurs Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt strategize on ways to build healthy habits and shed the unhealthy ones. They recommend working on changing one bad habit at a time and replacing it with a new, healthy one.
Here’s how to do it in 4 steps:
- Clearly identify your bad or unproductive habits
This is a step that involves a good deal of reflection on your part. You may need to call upon external help (such as assistance from a therapist or life coach) to help you clearly label your bad habits. In some cases, a daily habit may not seem too terrible on its own (i.e. getting 5 hours of sleep at night or working late and missing family dinner), but the long-term consequences might be severe.
- Define your new successful habit
Identify a new, healthy habit and envision what that will look like in your life. Canfield, Hansen, and Hewitt advise you to “create a clear picture of what this new habit will do for you. The more vividly you describe the benefits, the more likely you are to take action.” Remember, it’s okay to start small and build up your arsenal of good habits as you go along.
- Create an action plan
You’ve honed in on areas in your life you want to improve, deciding to take different (usually opposite) courses of action to beat out bad habits. Now, you’re ready to get the ball rolling. Take the time to “make a decision about which specific actions you are going to implement.”
Visualize each actions. What practical steps do you need to take to form a new habit? What actions will boost your chance of success? The action plan will propel you from visualizing changes you wish to see, to actually feeling empowered to make them. What’s more, having a written copy of your plan (and placing it somewhere where you will see it!) will help hold you accountable.
- Set a start date.
Get yourself psyched up for the start of a new chapter in your life. Setting a start date is vital to your action plan and helps you start strong.
Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt use the example of someone who takes too much work home on the weekends. They look honestly at the consequences of this habit (“Family time restricted, feeling guilty, important relationships become polarized”), visualize the benefits freeing up the weekend completely (“more relaxed, reduced stress levels, create unique family experiences”), and make a 3-step action plan to get there:
- Design my work better by not overcommitting.
- Delegate secondary tasks to staff to free up my time.
- Have my family keep me accountable. No golf if I don’t follow through!
Start Date: February 3rd
As with any change we make in our lives, repetition is key. To make better habits, you’ll have to keep fighting the brainless tendency we have to continue the bad habits we’ve created. This may be difficult at first, but if you stick to the action plan and keep your focus toward the future, you’ll soon find that you’re actually doing the good habits without having to think about them. Think about how good that will feel!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Source: Canfield, Jack, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt. The Power of Focus. Florida: Health Communications, 2011.
Tags: advice from a career coach, career coach Margaret Smith, changing bad habits into good habits, creating good habits, creatures of habit, crush bad habits, eliminate bad habits, improve your routine, Minneapolis career coach, st. paul career coach, twin cities life coach
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
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