September 14, 2016 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Although we may not pay attention to it most of the time, there is a constant internal voice that runs through everyone’s head. This is the voice that talks to us when we’re bored, tells us to choose the salad (not the soft pretzel!), and reminds us to not bring up politics around Aunt Mary. This unconscious stream of thought can also lift us up and make us feel confident OR cause us to come crashing down and tell us we’re no good.
Which narrative is running through your head?
For many people, the internal voice can be overwhelmingly negative. In the transformative book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!
Although this method of combatting negative self-talk might make you seem a little loony (back-talking to your “roommate” who isn’t physically there!), Singer claims that it is the first step in taming your negative self-talk problem. He says, “If you want to free yourself, you must first become conscious enough to understand your predicament. Then you must commit yourself to the inner work of freedom…as of right now, your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate; the psyche.”
The main lesson here is to be MINDFUL. Be AWARE of the narrative that runs through your head. Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying and when you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”
Then, repeat. Continue focusing your inner narrative on positive outcomes and you’ll find that it will become second-nature after a while. You’ll begin to be an optimistic person, instead of struggling to become one.
Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging negativity in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: banish negativity, career coach Margaret Smith, embracing positivity, Minneapolis career coach, negative inner voice, negative life narrative, overcome doubt, overcome negative self talk
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication, Goals, Personal Branding
September 7, 2016 The 2-Minute POWER-boosting technique
Social scientist Amy Cuddy studies nonverbal communication and how it relates to power. Through her research, she’s discovered some pretty incredible things about power dynamics, nonverbal signals, and how we can actually modify our mentality through physical actions.
Just like in the animal kingdom, humans puff up their chests and make themselves “big” if they perceive themselves to be in a position of power. On the flip side, people shrink down, hug their arms to their bodies, and lower their heads if they are feeling weak and vulnerable.
When we see someone posed in a “power position” or in a position of weakness, our brains automatically react. We are drawn to enthusiasm, confidence, and ease. From political candidates to doctors, we tend to gravitate toward displays of power.
But what if you don’t FEEL powerful? What if you doubt your abilities and lack self-confidence? Let your body language change your mind.
In Amy Cuddy’s studies, she has found that people who assume a power pose (opened chest, relaxed, arms wide) for as little as two minutes have higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol, which translates to more confidence and less stress. These people are able to cope with high-stress situations, such as a job interview, and are usually well-liked by others.
When you take on a power pose, something uncanny happens in the brain—it begins to believe that you are powerful.
When people question the authenticity of “faking it ‘til you make it,” Cuddy responds that she prefers the statement, “Fake it ‘til you become it.” The more frequently you tweak your nonverbals to indicate power and self-assurance, the more you’ll believe in that power. Eventually, you won’t have to fake it at all. You’ll elevate your confidence and approach situations with more comfort and poise than you used to.
Try assuming a power pose for two minutes the next time you are about to face a high-stress situation. It IS possible for your physical actions to change your brain!
To watch Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk, please click below:
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: 2 minute power boost, Amy Cuddy confidence, boost your confidence, career coach Margaret Smith, change your brain, confidence-boosting techniques, feel powerful
August 31, 2016 Resilience (Reflections from Poland)
A couple weeks ago, I spent 15 days in Poland, volunteering for World Youth Day. I took away many incredible lessons, including one that I wrote about last week. This week, I’d like to write about one particular take-away that can be applied to life, in general. That lesson has to do with resilience.
While I was in Poland, the weather was hot and humid. During these muggy days, the group I was with walked anywhere from 5 to 10+ miles on any given day, often in full sunlight. We walked the streets of Krakow, Zakopane, and Warsaw. We walked a 10 mile-long pilgrimage trail to see Pope Frances, and then walked back! We walked to bus stops, on country paths, to dinner…you name it!
Even though some days were physically taxing (especially the pilgrimage to see the Pope; the road was not only long, but packed with thousands of other people!), I didn’t hear a single complaint. Instead, we soldiered on and those who were feeling fine helped those who were having a hard time. I saw some people carrying multiple backpacks in order to give their fellow pilgrims a hand.
It was an astonishing example of resilience.
As I watched all the dedicated people walking down the pilgrim trail, it reminded me that, when inspired, you can do nearly anything. If something means a lot to you—whether in your personal or professional life—you will do whatever it takes to claim it or hold onto it. That’s the nature of resilience—it comes from within.
Next time you feel your resolve faltering, get inspired! Remember why what you’re doing matters. Remind yourself that you are strong and you can push through anything. And, when you do persevere, don’t forget to reward yourself!
And if you’re truly having trouble finding your motivation? That might be an indication that a major life change is in order. But, before making any drastic leaps, try finding a spark of inspiration and calling upon your inner resilience. Your mind is a powerful machine and the more you convince yourself that you CAN do something, the more likely that you’ll actually be able to do it.
March on!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, find your motivation, find your resilience, Poland pilgrimage, resilience at work, resilience in personal life, volunteering and resilience, will power to keep going
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