September 27, 2017 When your manager is difficult…
They’re always wearing a frown, criticizing staff, and shooting down ideas. They are a storm cloud, blocking out sunny moods and lightheartedness. They are difficult managers.
Many of us have had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a difficult manager at some point or another. It’s amazing how a single person can sour the mood of an office, isn’t it? Their callous attitude can bring everyone down, deflate motivation, and squash innovation and creativity.
How can you possibly defeat such an energy vampire? Isn’t it easier to simply quit your job and find better management elsewhere?
Even though it can sometimes be difficult to overcome an unsupportive manager, there are a few methods you can try before raising the white flag and heading somewhere else. Start with the following five tips:
Remain calm
The way you react to your manager can have a profound effect. If you return a snippy attitude with snippiness, or if you return anger with anger, you’ll only end up more frustrated. Instead, work on detaching yourself from your manager’s poor attitude. The next time he riles you up, remove yourself from the situation (physically or mentally), count to ten, and think about the encounter logically. Is it worth it to respond in kind? Probably not. Instead, find your inner calm and return childish behavior with calm reason.
Refocus
Although it may take significant effort on your part, it is best to focus on a task, not the criticism. Unless your manager has good reason for her critiques, it is best to let them slide off your back. Strategize and forge ahead as best you can, keeping the goal—not the criticism—at the center of your mind.
Be direct, if possible
Sometimes, it’s a good idea to be direct with your manager. If one of his criticisms seems off-base, ask him to explain what he means and how you and your team can perform better next time. Alternatively, you might try bringing up your feelings in a one-on-one meeting with your manager. Let him know how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that way, and what would make the situation better. Use the D4 model of feedback as a guide and be sure to bring up specific examples.
You’ll have to be brave to directly face your manager, but honestly, what do you have to lose? Sometimes a direct approach can be a breath of fresh air. It’s possible your manager is unaware of the profound effect of his words and actions and simply needs someone to point it out.
And if your directness completely flops? It may be a sign that it’s time to move on to greener pastures (but be sure to consult a career coach before doing anything too drastic!)
Have perspective
An article by Liz Ryan of Forbes Magazine encourages us to see our difficult managers as minor parts in our lives. She says, “Eventually you reach a point where no manager can make you fearful, because you realize that any boss is just a bit player in your movie. You are the director and the star. You could leave any boss at any moment and it wouldn’t kill you — it wouldn’t be ideal perhaps, but you’ll survive. Keep that in mind!”
Ask what you can do better, specifically
It’s possible your manager’s expectations are simply not aligning with your work. The only way to find out is to ask for specific feedback on specific projects. Small changes in your work may have a big impact on your boss’ attitude.
Be empathetic
If your manager suddenly becomes more grim and angry than usual, it’s possible she’s going through a rough patch in her personal life. Many of us leave our personal struggles at home and cover up hardships as best we can in the workplace. This might be the case with your difficult boss. With that in mind, be empathetic and understanding. Don’t take harsh words too personally. Remain calm and talk to your boss as an individual, not as a brutish machine, out to get you. Your empathy may make all the difference.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: bad boss strategies, career coach Margaret Smith, deal with difficult manager, deal with jerk manager, difficult manager, how to deal with bad bosses, keeping a confident calm, leadership coach Margaret Smith, Margaret Smith life coach, Minneapolis business coach, Twin Cities career coach
September 20, 2017 4 Ways to Delegate More Effectively
When done properly, delegation is a win-win. You end up saving time, and the person you’ve passed work onto feels valued for their unique skills. Why is it, then, that more people swamped with work don’t delegate?
One big reason is that Delegation Takes Up-Front Work
Many leaders find it takes time and effort just to bring others up to speed. Leaders might also feel like they need to supervise for a while to make sure things are done properly. With all this effort, it seems easier to just do the job yourself. But not so fast! Delegation can pay off in the long run if properly executed.
At first, you’ll need to work harder and longer when you’re preparing to delegate tasks. There will be meetings, training, negotiations, and the inevitable hiccup. But if you take the necessary time to delegate in a meaningful way, you’ll end up saving far more time and energy over time.
How? Follow these four guidelines:
Know Your Team
Know the people who work alongside you. Don’t just learn their names or where they went to school; familiarize yourself with their interests, talents, and experiences. When it comes time to delegate, you won’t have to guess who is best suited for the job. You’ll have an acute understanding of your team and their abilities.
Knowing that your assignments are in good hands will take much of the stress off your plate. Take a step back, resist the urge to look over your team members’ shoulders, and trust that they have the capabilities to successfully execute tasks. BONUS: your team will appreciate your trust in them and will be more motivated to problem-solve and create solutions on their own.
Plan Well
If you’re delegating to a group of people, you’ll need to hold a meeting or two beforehand to help build unity within the group. They’ll go off and tackle bits of the greater project, sure, but it helps them to know how their contribution functions within the whole. It also helps you stay mentally organized as you’re the one keeping track of all the loose ends.
Which leads to…
Check In
While you should trust your team to perform well, it is necessary to check-in every once in a while to make sure everything is running smoothly and no one is struggling with a particular assignment. Keep it friendly, and be open to feedback. Your team may have great ideas to contribute and it’s worth it to take the time to listen.
If you’re worried that it may be too hard to ensure that your standards are being implemented by those you’ve delegated work to, fear not, but be sure to…
Have Clear Deadlines, Goals, and Expectations From The Get Go
And be specific about them. It’s better to over-prepare in the beginning and be able to ease off as your team gets up to speed than it is to go into a project unorganized and be forced to pull people off projects.
Remember: a strong vision, clearly stated, is a powerful tool. Be transparent and communicate your expectations with everyone involved. Make sure your entire team is on the same page and is working toward the same goals and mile markers.
If done correctly, delegation can pay dividends. Get to know your team’s strengths, assign clear tasks, and be sure to check in on a regular basis. Effective delegation can set you free to perform other crucial leadership duties.
Questions about delegation? Feel free to contact me today.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: benefits of delegation, Better delegation, better leadership, know your team, leadership and delegation, leadership skills, margaret smith leadership, Minneapolis career coaching, smart delegation, trust your team
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Leadership
September 13, 2017 BANISH self-doubt in five steps [infographic]
Banish your self-doubt! Here’s how…
We’re mixing things up today and posting an Infographic on the UXL blog. Enjoy! (Text posted below for those who can’t read it).
- Pay attention: Recognize when you’re thinking negative thoughts or telling yourself, “I can’t.” Do certain situations prompt more self-doubt than others?
- Talk back: Though it may sound crazy, start talking back to your self-doubt! For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “No one wants to listen to my ideas,” counter with “Yes, they do. My ideas are valuable and people are interested in what I have to say.”
- Use a Power Pose: Keeping your shoulders back and your head held high has a positive psychological effect and can actually boost your confidence.
- Do Your Research: Going into a scary situation with a little preparation can make a huge difference. Be sure to anticipate questions others might ask and practice answering them.
- Challenge Yourself: The way to achieve growth is to constantly challenge yourself. Once you overcome doubt in one area, move on to another!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: banish negativity, banish self-doubt, build confidence, business coach Margaret Smith, career coach Minneapolis, challenge yourself, leadership coach Margaret Smith, Margaret Smith life coach, pay attention to negative thoughts, power pose, self-doubt struggles
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