November 14, 2018 How Can “50 Fun Things” Revitalize You?
Teresa Thomas leading a 50 Fun Things workshop. Photo credit: Lisa Venticinque
How often do you stretch outside your comfort zone? How often do you pause and appreciate the simple things that bring you joy? How often do you prioritize yourself and your desires without feeling guilty about it?
If you’re thinking “not too often!” it may be time to infuse your life with a little more spontaneity, courage, and happiness. It may be time for 50 Fun Things.
The 50 Fun Things concept was created by speaker and networking expert, Teresa Thomas, right before her 50th birthday. She had been going through some “tough stuff” and knew she needed a drastic change. She began brainstorming ways to turn around her life, experience more joy, and appreciate all the good things she already had.
Before she knew it, Teresa had a list of 50 things she wanted to accomplish over the next year. The list brimmed with simple pleasures (a fancy cup of coffee), comfort-stretching activities (singing karaoke for the first time!), and opportunities to learn something new (taking a painting class).
50 Fun Things workshops. Photo by Lisa Venticinque
Suddenly, Teresa was finding herself living life more fully, achieving long-held dreams, and learning and laughing along the way. Many of her adventures included others, so 50 Fun Things was also a great way to connect or reconnect with friends.
50 Fun Things was so effective that Teresa decided it was a gift too good to keep to herself. She developed an entire program (check it out on her website) revolving around 50 Fun Things, including an interactive workshop. Today, she has helped people from all walks of life think big, stretch themselves, and get out there and achieve their dreams!
So, what about YOU?
What are 50 things YOU want to do in the upcoming year?
It is time to stop feeling guilty about taking intentional time for yourself. You are human! You deserve growth, new challenges, and the chance to pause and appreciate life. You deserve a little fun.
A 50 Fun Things workshop
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: 50 Fun Things, 50 Fun Things Teresa Thomas, 50 Fun Things Twin Cities, 50 Fun Things WIN, career coach Margaret Smith, Teresa Thomas networking expert, women revitalize
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- Posted under Changing Your Life, Goals
November 7, 2018 How does a PAUSE help your workflow?
This blog post was first published in October, 2012.
Cell phones, e-mail and the internet were intended to help ease the stress of life, yet it would appear they actually make the work week longer, the pool of contacts larger, and the deadlines closer together. We instinctively fight to stay afloat, throwing ourselves through all sorts of hoops without a moment’s rest. After all, how can we expect to take even a moment for ourselves when our to-do pile grows bigger by the minute?
We can, and we should, insists Nance Guilmartin in her book, The Power of Pause. Herein she argues that pausing before undergoing a task gives you a better shot at success, in that it provides you with the opportunity to reflect, weigh options and make judgment calls uninfluenced by charged emotions:
“We’re quick to say yes to someone’s request because we don’t think we have a choice. We just hit the Reply All or Send button on an e-mail instead of considering our options, picking up the phone, or walking down the hall. We jump to conclusions based on assumptions, expectations, or wished-for outcomes that are frequently far from reality.”
Taking a step back while under stress is counter intuitive and takes practice to master. Yet, whether you wait a minute, an hour, or a day, “your ability to make better choices is sharpened, and that can lead to significantly better results for you and for your clients,” says Guilmartin.
A moment of pause enables us to see the big picture of our circumstances. An angry e-mail from a client, for example, seems to demand immediate reply. But is action without true pause the best route to take in this situation? No, Guilmartin says, because during a stressful, disagreeable exchange, the chance is high that our emotions will get in the way of maintaining good relationships with those around us.
In a situation such as this, a pause allots us time to ask key questions aimed at the heart of our stress. To do this, Guilmartin suggests that “you use a simple phrase to help you shift from jumping to a conclusion, even if you think you are right and have the facts. Ask yourself this seven-word question: What don’t I know I don’t know?”
In other words, are you missing something important you haven’t considered? In the angry client e-mail example, it could be you didn’t communicate sufficiently with the client at the outset or some important detail was lost in the shuffle. Pausing to reevaluate both what went wrong and how to respond will optimize the chances of moving forward with the client in a fair, productive manner.
To put it another way, pausing actually increases brain performance. The next time you’re faced with overwhelming circumstances, remember that you have the choice to take a time-out. I encourage you take it. In so doing, you’ll give yourself the gift of perspective, time to weigh your options, and a moment to clarify your goals. Not only do you have this choice, even though it may not seem like it at the time, research shows that choosing to slow down helps you in the long run.
Herbert Benson, “Are You Working Too Hard?” Harvard Business Review, November 2005, 54-56.
Nance Guilmartin, The Power of Pause: How to Be More Effective in a Demanding, 24/7 World (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2010), 36, 153.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: business coach Margaret Smith, career coach Margaret Smith, pause before deciding, reflection at work, the power of pause
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Thrive at Work
October 31, 2018 4 Ways Halloween is NOT Like Good Leadership
Happy Halloween, everyone! For today’s post, I thought I’d do a fun one. Let me know if you have other ideas, or if you think there are ways Halloween actually DOES resemble good leadership.
In the past, I’ve talked about how the MN State Fair and Independence Day teach us lessons about life and leadership, but today we’re dealing with a much different event: Halloween. When I think about all the qualities a good leader should possess, I see very few of them in Halloween–that holiday of monsters and ghouls.
How is Halloween the antithesis of good leadership? Here are four ways…
1. It revolves around fear.
Capable leaders do not need to lean on fear-based tactics to get what they want. They don’t need everyone beneath them quaking in fear, wondering when the next outburst or disciplinary action will occur.
Instead, capable leaders put their hearts first. They care about the wellbeing of their team; they take the time to get to know and understand others; they make sure they assign tasks that are well-suited to individuals.
Leading with your heart does NOT make you a softie. Rather, it demonstrates thoughtful leadership and respect for others. Of course, there will be times when you, as a leader, will need to deliver tough news or discipline a team member, but those occasions should be few and far between. Your team should be incentivized by common goals, not fear.
2. It disguises who you really are.
Good leaders don’t wear masks. They are brave enough to let themselves be vulnerable and let their true selves shine through. That means communicating clearly and authentically, behaving according to core values, and being transparent.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be more formal in certain situations and more relaxed in others. Being authentic has to do with the crux of who you are. There are some values, behaviors, and beliefs that make you you. Stand by them. Don’t wildly alter your personality or your opinions to please the crowd–this kind of behavior will only make others question your authenticity and lessen their trust in you.
3. It is greedy.
Good leadership isn’t about collecting as much “candy” as possible and hoarding it for yourself. Instead, it’s about understanding that your accomplishments were not achieved alone–others deserve credit (candy) too.
When someone goes above and beyond their work duties, recognize that individual. When your team delivers, reward them. That doesn’t mean you should dole out “candy” willy-nilly; it means you should pay attention and give others credit when credit is due.
And remember: you rarely accomplish big things on your own. Recognize the help you’ve received along the way.
4. It doesn’t provide vital nutrients.
Candy can’t subsist you forever, and neither can gimmicky reward programs or activities. Don’t get me wrong–I think it’s a great idea to have team parties, cookouts, and competitions. HOWEVER, if those fun activities are not supported by key core elements, they are meaningless.
In short: Who cares if you have a weekly office party if there is in-fighting or poor communication between staff?
Make sure the bones of your operation are solid (there’s a skeleton reference for you!) before you start adding extras. Are your employees comfortable with their assignments? Is there an open line of communication between leadership and staff? Is there a safe, effective way to voice complaints? Are employees being treated civilly and with dignity? Is office gossip clouding relationships?
Yes, it’s wonderful to have friendly competitions and parties (just like it’s wonderful to enjoy the occasional chocolate bar!). Just make sure you prioritize core office values first.
What do you think? Is Halloween a metaphor for poor leadership? Let me know your thoughts!
Have a fun, safe Halloween.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: authentic leadership, effective leadership, halloween and leadership, leadership coach Margaret Smith, leadership in the workplace, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach
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- Posted under Leadership
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