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Creating Successful Leaders

Category Archives: Communication

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.--Bryant H. McGill

I recently listened to an excellent TED Talk by Celeste Headlee on the art of having a meaningful conversation. Headlee was a radio host and reporter for NPR for several years and used what she learned from interviewing to develop 10 basic conversation principles.

Today, we often talk past or talk over each other. Instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say, we are busy multi-tasking or thinking up a response. Because of this tendency to focus on ourselves instead of on the other half of the conversation, a lot is lost in translation. Headlee’s 10 principles remind us how to fully engage in meaningful conversation and actually learn something from one another. Briefly, her 10 principles are:

  1. Don’t multi-task (be fully present and engaged)
  2. Don’t pontificate (expressing your opinion without any room for discussion only shuts down a conversation instead of opening up a dialogue)
  3. Use open-ended questions
  4. Go with the flow (thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go and focus on what the other person is saying)
  5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know (it’s okay to admit when you don’t know something!)
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs (your experience is not the say. Don’t make this a promotional opportunity for you; instead, listen to what they are saying and respond to that)
  7. Try not to repeat yourself
  8. Stay out of the weeds (don’t bog down your story with irrelevant details)
  9. Listen (This is probably the most important principle!)
  10. Be brief (As Headlee’s sister says, “A good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.”)

Think about these principles as you engage others in conversation today. Be present, ask good questions, and practice active listening.

If you’d like to watch the whole TED Talk (It’s only 12 minutes long), please click on the image below. Happy conversing!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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A couple months ago, I spent some time teaching the basic principles of Insights® Discovery to some people in a nonprofit leadership program. If you’re not familiar with Insights® Discovery, it’s essentially a program that helps people understand themselves better and, by extension, understand others. Insights® generally helps improve communication, team dynamics, self-confidence, and leadership.

I’ve seen some amazing transformations with inter-person communication and understanding in many organizations, including the nonprofit leadership program I mentioned earlier. When I went to their “graduation party” this past week, I was stunned. The 30 or so individuals that I coached had markedly improved their communication and teamwork and they attributed it to Insights®. In fact, the entire room was decorated with the four Insights® colors (which represent the four distinct “color energies”–more on that HERE).

When the presentation started, many references were made to Insights® and how it has helped their team work together harmoniously to achieve great things. Now, THAT is what every Insights® Licensed Practitioner (like myself) likes to hear!

Could your workplace use a little more cohesiveness and communication? It could be that Insights® Discovery is just the ticket! Let’s talk.

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Three benefits that Insights Discovery brings

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Gift bags in the color of each person’s leading color energy

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Insights-themed masks

The group!

The group!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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Curiosity cat

Curiosity is a…curious thing. It’s a personality trait that is often overlooked. It’s easy to measure intelligence, and there are several tests that can more or less determine your EQ (emotional quotient), but how do you measure curiosity?

Even though it’s not easy to measure, we shouldn’t brush aside curiosity. Various studies have shown that certain personality attributes associated with curiosity are linked to career and life success. Here are a few ways that having a curious personality can bolster your success:

Better Relationships

Curious people are typically good listeners and are great at asking questions. They genuinely want to know about the person sitting across from them and learn about their experiences.

A Happier You

According to Emily Campbell of Berkeley University, research has shown curiosity to be “associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life, and greater psychological well-being.”

It Helps You Learn

Curious people ask questions and tend to be more engaged with new material that comes their way. This leads to higher academic achievement, as well as greater learning, engagement, and performance at work.

It Triumphs Over Anxieties

Even if you’re a naturally anxious person, curiosity can help you overcome your fears. By taking a genuine interest in the world around you, you set yourself up to enjoy new experiences, instead of shying away from them.

The overall lesson: DO let your curiosity get the better of you! Don’t be afraid to ask questions, take unexplored paths, and put yourself in the middle of a new experience. Your natural curiosity will help you succeed in the workplace and in your personal life. What would you like to learn today?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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