Category Archives: Communication
June 8, 2016 Cheers! How to Give a Better Toast
We’ve all been there. Someone stands up or leans over the table to give a toast and it falls absolutely FLAT. Maybe there are too many inside jokes in the toast, or maybe the speaker crosses the line between funny and just plain raunchy. Or, maybe the speaker forgets their lines, fumbles their words, or loses their concentration. Or the microphone cuts out. Or the speaker mumbles. Or no one laughs at the jokes…
The list goes on and on! It makes you wonder why anyone in their right mind would agree to give a toast.
But, fear not. There are just as many ways to give a good toast as to give a horrendous one! The trick is to put a little thought into the occasion and look at it as an honor instead of a burden.
Because I’m a career and life coach, I often help people to deal with difficult or touchy situations with as much finesse, sensitivity, and effectiveness as possible. Being the “Toast-Giver” at your next special event is a perfect time to make an impression and send a message to a group.
How can you ensure that the toast you give during the summer wedding season (or any other season, for that matter) stays the impressive course and avoids turning into a train wreck? Start with these 7 handy tips:
The Toast-Giver’s Survival Guide
What’s Your Subject?
Every toast should have a subject. This should not be difficult to discern—for what reason have you all gathered today? Whether for a holiday party, wedding, graduation, or birthday, the major message of your toast should reflect the event’s specific occasion.
Practice Makes Perfect
If you’re anticipating being called on to make a speech, prepare one ahead of time and practice. Say your speech out loud (you’ll find that the pacing is much different than when you read to yourself) and practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.
Know Your Audience
Always assess the formality of the group and event. Take a cue from others who made toasts or speeches before you and, when in doubt, always keep your comments as respectful and professional as possible.
Don’t Burn the Toast!
When giving a toast, brevity is always key. Avoid causing waves of rolling eyes by sticking to your main message to avoid rambling.
Be Sober
I don’t think I need to paint a picture for you here—it’s pretty obvious what happens when someone misjudges their level of inebriation and subjects a room to their long, blush-inducing speech. If you hope to make a toast, abstain from the sauce until you’re finished.
Ditch the Inside Jokes
If only one or two people understand a reference you make during your toast, you’re alienating everyone else. If you decide to refer to a certain story or event, be sure you frame it properly so that everyone feels included.
Speak From the Heart
Avoid canned quotes or cliché phrases. Instead, be genuine, focus on the positive, and speak from the heart.
Follow these rules and make sure that your toast is remembered for the right reasons!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, champagne toast etiquette, embarrassing toasts, give a better toast, give a memorable toast, give the perfect toast, rules for toasting, UXL career coaching
May 11, 2016 The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers [TED Talk]
“Originals are not that different from the rest of us. They feel fear and doubt, they procrastinate, they have bad ideas. And sometimes it’s not in spite of those qualities, but because of them that they succeed.” -Adam Grant
One of the great lessons I learned from Adam Grant’s recent TED Talk is that we shouldn’t write off people who have unconventional work styles or ways of doing things. Many inventive, creative people do not like to think linearly or complete tasks in step-by-step ways. Instead, they work best when they are given time to explore many different avenues or even step away from the task-at-hand for a while.
On the surface, this might seem like procrastination or a lack of motivation, but it is a part of many people’s creative process. Grant says, “Procrastination gives you time to consider divergent ideas, to think in nonlinear ways, to make unexpected leaps.”
Another thing original thinkers have in common: they have failures. They often explore many different routes before landing on a great idea. As Grant articulates, “The greatest originals are the ones who fail the most because they’re the ones who try the most.”
It’s like playing a game of darts. If you just keep making throws, you’ll likely hit your mark eventually.
As a leader, try to recognize the traits of original thinkers on your team and encourage their creativity and ingenuity.
And if you’re an original thinker? Embrace it! Realize that you might work differently than others, but your way of doing things probably works best for you.
To watch the full TED Talk (which I highly recommend), please click below.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: adam grant Ted talk originals, career coach Margaret Smith, creative thinkers, habits of original thinkers, leading creative thinkers, leading creatives, original thinkers, original thinkers adam grant, thinking creatively, UXL career coaching
April 20, 2016 5 Steps to a Successful Phone Meeting
Many initial meetings happen over the phone. You might be “meeting” with a prospective client OR interviewing with a potential new company OR connecting with a possible collaborator for a new project. Whatever the case, don’t take these initial meetings lightly. Phone meetings are valuable opportunities to put your best foot forward and make an excellent first impression. How can you make sure your next phone meeting is a positive one?
1. Prepare
Nothing is as important as well-planned preparation. One of the most critical things you can do is research the other party. Visit their website, familiarize yourself with the company (or the person with whom you’ll be speaking), and learn about their guiding principles or mission statement. You’ll likely be able to interject some of your knowledge about the company during your phone conversation, but DON’T FORCE IT. You don’t want to sound canned or rehearsed.
Next, go over exactly what you’re going to cover in the meeting (or what you think you’re going to cover). Practice asking yourself questions that will likely be covered in the conversation and prep answers that are flexible and can be elaborated on or modified, depending on the question.
2. Warm up your voice
If it’s early in the morning or you haven’t been talking much all day, your voice will likely sound scratchy or weak. And that does NOT make for a good first impression. What to do about unused vocal chords? Warm ‘em up! Talk to a co-worker, call your mother, or even talk or hum to yourself. Newscasters, actors, singers, and other people who depend on their voice know the importance of warming up—a warmed up voice sounds more powerful and confident. For more ideas on prepping your voice, Business Insider printed an excellent article with several tips and tricks.
3. Be punctual
If it’s up to you to initiate the phone call, be punctual. Calling too early might rush the other party; calling too late gives the impression that you don’t really care.
If you’re on the receiving end of the phone call, be prepared to speak five minutes before the scheduled time. You don’t want to be caught off-guard by an early call.
4. Practice good listening
It’s easy to let your mind wander if you’re speaking with someone who is not in the same room. If your laptop is sitting in front of you, you might be tempted to absentmindedly scan your email, Facebook, the New York Times, the latest shoes on your favorite retail site…DON’T DO IT.
In order to truly absorb what the other person is saying, you must give them your full attention. Multi-tasking has been proven time and again to be ineffective and unproductive. Instead, put distractions away, take notes, and really listen. By being completely engaged in the conversation, you’ll be able to ask good questions and demonstrate that you care about the speaker and what he has to say.
5. Set up a follow-up meeting
If it’s within your power to set up a follow-up meeting (i.e. if you’re NOT interviewing for a job), then do so. Unless the phone meeting was a complete disaster, you’ll likely want to follow up with the other party. By setting up a time to meet—either face-to-face or over the phone—you’re demonstrating that you care and are enthusiastic about working with the person or company.
Once you hang up, send out an email to 1) thank the person for their time on the phone and 2) confirm the next meeting time and place. Not only is this good etiquette, it also shows that you’re grateful for the other person’s time.
Do you have specific questions about an upcoming phone meeting? Send me a message! I would be happy to answer any queries you might have.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: better phone meetings, career coach Margaret Smith, communicate over the phone, improve phone meetings, Minneapolis career coach, over the phone interview, phone meeting tips, practice active listening, tips for phone interview
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