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January 22, 2025 Why Create a “Comfort List”?

Sometimes we simply need a break. However, even when life gets tough, we do not always step back, breathe, and treat ourselves well. Instead, we do what all those self-help books tell us to do: power through, be “gritty,” adapt a growth mindset, persevere. While it can be useful to keep going at times, sometimes it is necessary to slow down, give yourself grace, and take a break.

Why Take a Break?

Giving ourselves space to breathe is not selfish, and it shouldn’t be a rare luxury. In truth, when we take care of our mental, physical, and emotional health, we empower ourselves to be better and do better. While some believe only long work hours and “the grind” can help you succeed, studies have found that isn’t the case. A team at Harvard Business Review analyzed over 80 studies and found that, “Pausing work throughout the day can improve well-being and also help with getting more work done…taking breaks within work hours not only does not detract from performance, but can help boost it.”

And the benefits go beyond the workplace. When we give ourselves space and time, we are better able to process complex or difficult situations. When we allow ourselves room to think, we can come up with better solutions to overcome personal issues, negative relationship dynamics, and other sticking points. Occasionally taking a meaningful respite can help us to reenergize, regain our patience, and prevent burnout.

Make It Meaningful

One key word in the last sentence is “meaningful.” When we do convince ourselves it’s okay to take a break, we may not know what to do with ourselves. Instead of taking a meaningful break or engaging in an actual form of relaxation, we end up turning on the TV or scrolling through social media. This may be a temporary band-aid, but it can also have the opposite effect. The news might increase our anxiety, and social media might create unrealistic standards for our homes, our relationships, and ourselves. What to do instead?

Consider creating a “comfort list.” This can be a go-to list of items that will help you relax and unwind in a meaningful way. In addition to including your ideas for meaningful breaks/comforts, the list can also be divided into quick, straightforward activities as well as more involved activities. If you need to take a break NOW and don’t have time to engage in anything too elaborate, opt for one of the quicker activities. If you really need some time to unwind, look to the more involved activities.

Some quick, short-term, easy activities for a “comfort list” could include:

  • Reading a chapter in a book
  • Making a cup of tea and doing a crossword puzzle
  • Stretching
  • Going to the movies (by yourself or with someone)
  • Doing a little baking or cooking while listening to a podcast
  • Journaling
  • Meditating
  • Walking outside (by yourself or with a companion)

More involved activities could include:

  • Going to a coffee shop with a book in hand
  • Doing yoga or hitting the gym
  • Taking a cooking class
  • Grabbing a beverage or an appetizer with a close friend
  • Going to the library
  • Heading to a local conservatory
  • Going to a theater production
  • Taking a community education class
  • Volunteering to walk dogs or play with kittens

Even more involved activities could include:

  • Planning a vacation
  • Booking a nearby hotel room for a “staycation” (and hot tub time!)
  • Having a spa day

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and on the brink of a burnout, take a look at the comfort list you put together. Which activities might help to rejuvenate you? Do you need to do something right now, or do you have the time and patience to engage in one of the more involved activities? We all need breaks, and this type of list can help you find the self-care you need when you don’t feel creative enough to come up with ideas to relax. Just turn to your list and start getting the (much needed) care you require.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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December 18, 2024 When a Change is on the Horizon

Limited Time Offer: My online leadership course is on sale for $98. Enjoy the “Invest in YOU” discount.

For the past couple of years, I have been toying with the idea of retirement. However, whenever I think my plan is in place and I’m ready to begin heading toward the “off ramp,” I gain a new client or speaking gig, or an exciting new opportunity lands in my inbox. So, I delay a while longer. However, a part of me is realistic about the inevitable path ahead, so I’m taking actions that will help me when this moment of transition comes: I’m observing, listening, and learning from others.

Technically, I retired once already when I left my leadership role at 3M. That time was different, though, because I was still fairly young and had some vague plans for starting a second career—the coaching business that became UXL. This time feels more final.

So, what have I learned from observing and listening to those who have made a leap into retirement? These are a few of my takeaways:

Reframe Your Identity

For many of us, our identity is closely tied to our work. When you meet someone new, it’s common to ask, “What do you do?” Once you retire, that question can seem daunting or even embarrassing. No one wants to say, “Well, I used to be…” You can, however, take ownership of your identity and reframe it. For example, instead of saying “I’m retired,” you could say, “I volunteer at the local animal shelter and am spearheading a project focused on children’s literacy.” This allows you to focus on the activities and interests that are important to you, rather than defining yourself by what you used to do. Embracing a new identity can help you feel more purposeful and engaged in this next chapter of your life.

Find Your Community

When you step away from a workplace, you end up losing an entire group of people that you regularly see. This may leave a gap in your social life, and you might feel like you’re missing something, especially if you regularly interacted with your work team or colleagues. Building a community outside of the office is essential. These could be friends, a book club, a community volunteer group, a church committee, or any type of organization that allows you to connect with others. Finding ways to build new relationships and stay socially engaged can help ease the transition into retirement.

Maintain a Routine

Many retirees find that maintaining a routine is crucial for their well-being. Without the structure of a traditional workday, it’s easy to feel adrift. Establishing a daily or weekly schedule can provide a sense of purpose and help you stay productive. This could include exercising, pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or even scheduling regular social activities. Maintaining a routine can help you feel grounded and prevent boredom or a sense of aimlessness. Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s important to leave room for spontaneity and flexibility, so you don’t feel overly constrained.

Stay Active and Engaged

Keeping your mind and body active is crucial. Retirement is an opportunity to explore new interests and expand your knowledge. Consider taking classes, attending lectures, or pursuing hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. It’s also a good idea to stay in motion, which might mean pursuing an active hobby like hiking, cycling, or swimming. Staying engaged can help prevent boredom, provide opportunities to learn something new, and help you stay active and physically fit.

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

As you navigate retirement, be open to embracing change and adapting to new circumstances. Your plans and expectations may evolve over time, and it’s important to remain flexible. Be willing to try new things, explore new possibilities, and adjust your routines as needed. Retirement is a journey, and being adaptable will help you make the most of this new chapter.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition. With an open mindset and a willingness to try new things, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful retirement that aligns with your values and interests.

These are just a few of my observations and learnings from people who are thriving in retirement. To me, it is mainly important to maintain an open mindset, have patience, and allow your retirement years to take whatever shape they will. Retirement is not a singular destination, but a dynamic journey that evolves over time. Someday in the not-so-distant future, I will embark on this journey too…but not quite yet.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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December 4, 2024 5 Reasons to Invest in YOU

Limited Time Offer: My online leadership course is on sale for $98. Enjoy the “Invest in YOU” discount.

If you’re like many people I know, the holiday season is a time when you put your personal needs aside to focus on others. That might mean hosting holiday gatherings, working hard to wrap up year-end projects, or buying presents for family members, friends, and colleagues. In between all the hustle and bustle, it can be difficult to pause and think about the road ahead for YOU—your personal or professional future.

I encourage you to take a few moments this month to turn your attention inward. Doing so is not selfish or indulgent. Rather, it is an essential part of self-care, career advancement, and staying at the top of your game. Not only that, when you invest in yourself, you become better equipped to support those around you.

When you choose to invest in yourself, you reap many benefits including the following:

Gaining Clarity

When you choose to invest in yourself, you gain clarity on your goals, values, and the direction you want to take in life. This self-reflection can help you make more informed decisions about your career, relationships, and overall well-being. On the flip side, if you continue forging ahead without pause, you may lose sight of what truly matters. Taking time to invest in yourself can help you regain that clarity.

Improving Skills & Knowledge

We all have a “needs improvement” area. If you already know your shortcomings, consider enrolling in a course, a class, or a training program to fill that knowledge gap or sharpen your skills. Consider talking this over with a supervisor, since your workplace may pay for your continued education. If your focus is on leadership, building confidence, or advancing your career, check out my online 10-Minute Leadership Challenge course.

Boosting Confidence

Investing in yourself, whether through education, skill development, or self-care, can significantly boost your confidence. As you grow and improve, you’ll feel more capable and empowered to tackle new challenges. When I work with teams or lead workshops, one of the most common areas of improvement for attendees is courage. Many of us struggle with taking brave actions in the workplace and need a little help to gain the necessary confidence to act or step outside our comfort zones to become stronger leaders.

Expanding Career Opportunities

When you choose to invest in yourself, that means you are also investing in your future. By developing new skills, knowledge, and confidence, you open yourself up to expanded career opportunities. Employers often seek out candidates who demonstrate a commitment to continuous learning and self-improvement. Taking the time to further your education and skills makes you more valuable and marketable—positioning you for promotions, new roles, or even a career change.

Broadening Your Perspective

One important potential side effect of investing in yourself is the expansion of your perspective. When you dedicate time and energy to learning, growing, and reflecting, you naturally start to see the world through a new lens. This broadened outlook can lead to increased creativity, empathy, and innovative thinking. By investing in yourself, you become better equipped to navigate complex challenges, collaborate effectively with others, and contribute more meaningfully to your personal and professional spheres. Ultimately, broadening your point of view can enrich every aspect of your life.

Taking time for self-reflection and continued education can provide invaluable benefits that positively impact every area of your life. Don’t let the busyness of the holidays prevent you from making your own needs a priority. It is essential to dedicate some time and resources (if only a little!) to your personal and professional growth. Help yourself so you can help others.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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