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October 26, 2022 3 Steps to Deal with Negative Feedback

No one likes to receive negative feedback. We’d all like to skate through life and have people tell us, “That was perfect! No changes necessary.” Or, “I love your ideas. Let’s adopt every single one of them.” Or, “Your report was impeccable. Don’t change a thing.”

If only.

The truth is, you will receive negative feedback at times, whether in a meeting, during an annual review, or from co-workers (in a more casual sense). Negative feedback can sting. You might feel defensive, you may dread the work that the feedback might create, or you might even feel some animosity toward the person who delivered the critique.

Those feelings are normal, and you can work through them. Let’s talk about 3 ways to deal with negative feedback.

1. Delay Your Reaction

When you or your work is criticized, your kneejerk reaction may be to bite back. You might say something snappy, blow off the criticism, or even attack the speaker. None of these are productive responses, and they may end up damaging relationships or your reputation.

Instead, take time to internalize the criticism. You might ask a clarifying question or two (or gently correct something the speaker misstated), but do your best to not be defensive. Even if you don’t entirely agree with the feedback, there may be a kernel of truth in it. Let your anger or disappointment subside before you respond.

2. Examine the Heart of the Feedback

How often do you latch onto a criticism, even when someone has given you several compliments? When dealing with negative feedback, sit down and think about everything that was said. Was the negative component the most important part of the feedback? Or simply the part that stuck with you?

Even if the negative portion of the feedback wasn’t the central focus, it’s worth addressing it. Now that you’re in a more neutral state (hopefully!), consider ways to course correct. Will this be a major undertaking? Will it involve other people or various resources? Start planning, but don’t get too far until you do Step 3…

3. Circle Back to the Critiquer

After you’ve had some time to digest the negative feedback, it’s a good idea to reach out to the person who delivered it. It could be that they didn’t state their case clearly, were confused, or overstated the problem. Or maybe they meant every word of their critique.

Whatever the case, I encourage you to contact this person and address their criticism head-on. You might start the conversation like this:

“I’ve been giving what you said about X a lot of thought, and I want to ask you some clarifying questions before diving in to make corrections. Can we chat?”

If they agree to talk, keep things civil and professional. You should have a genuine desire to make things better and improve! The goal of this conversation is to capture more information AND demonstrate to the other person that you hear them, respect their opinion, and are willing to put in the leg work to make things right.

No one loves negative feedback, but we can all learn from it. At times, this feedback may be exaggerated or just plain wrong, but don’t dismiss it outright. We can learn from others’ thoughts and perspectives, and it’s helpful to keep a humble, always-improving attitude. Besides, the more you deal with criticism, the easier it will be to take it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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October 19, 2022 How Self-Understanding Boosts Productivity

“Know thyself” is an adage that goes back hundreds and hundreds of years. This may seem fairly straightforward (“Surely, I know myself better than anyone!”), but that’s often not the case. For one thing, how often do we actually spend time reflecting about ourselves, our perspectives, the way we process information, or the way we interact with others? For most people, these actions are unconscious. We move through the world without thinking about how we move through it.

Programs such as Insights® Discovery challenge us to sink deeper into our internal worlds and become better acquainted—or reacquainted—with ourselves. I use Insights® as an example because I’m a Licensed Practitioner of Insights® Discovery, but many other similar programs exist that help us drill down into the core of our being—StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, Myers-Briggs (informed by the findings of acclaimed psychiatrists Carl Jung, whose work is also the basis of Insights®).

These programs are valuable for helping us understand our personal tendencies, the unique ways we view the world and process information, how we interact with and relate to others, and the work that is best suited to our personalities. All of these findings are valuable for a number of reasons. In my Insights® sessions, people have made a variety of breakthroughs, ranging from clarifying their career paths to developing a better understanding of their strengths and areas of improvement.

Not only are breakthroughs possible, it’s also likely that everyday skills, systems, or functions will improve. One area that often improves is productivity.

How is productivity related to self-discovery? I can think of at least three links:

1. Communication Improves

The more you understand about your own and others communication preferences, the better you’ll be able to facilitate effective communication. For instance, if someone prefers direct communication, keep that in mind next time you have a meeting with that person. Don’t beat around the bush, and do your best to convey precisely what you mean.

On the other side of the coin, if you discover that you prefer indirect communication (an email or a voicemail) so you can think over your options before responding, make your preference clear. The next time someone calls on you during a meeting, say something to the effect of, “I would love to give you my thoughts once I’ve had time to mull them over. I tend to make better decisions once I’ve had time to analyze my options.”

2. Teamwork Improves

When a team goes through Insights® Discovery or a similar assessment program, they gain a deeper understanding of how each other operates. They learn that Maddie’s social tendencies shine during group work or team brainstorming sessions…but she can get frustrated or bored when asked to work alone. They learn that Max prefers direct communication and would rather talk candidly about an issue right away, rather than going through pleasantries or background information.

The team will also have access to a common language. For those who have been through Insights®, they might say, “That’s my yellow energy shining through!” Or, “I’m going to have to think about all this–you know how blue-energy folks love to analyze things!”

3. Suitability Improves

Far too often, we try to fit square pegs into round holes in the workplace. Once a team has undergone an assessment (and has had some subsequent coaching), it will become apparent who is content and well-suited to their current role, and who could use a shift. Perhaps someone is currently tasked with leading a group project, but would strongly prefer a background/support role. That discontentment will probably bubble to the surface when the team learns about each other’s work and communication preferences.

Learning about yourself on a deeper level is not just great for personal improvement, it’s highly valuable for improving team dynamics. If everyone on a work team took the same assessment test (preferably one that’s backed by science and has a proven track record), they would gain a more meaningful understanding of each other’s thought processes, communication preferences, and personalities. And they would also gain a common language to express these differences and distinctions.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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September 28, 2022 How Leaders Can Combat Quiet Quitting

Everyone has been abuzz about “quiet quitting” lately. This workplace trend essentially involves doing the bare minimum to meet one’s job requirements. No extra projects. No overtime or answering emails after hours. If it’s not in the job description, it won’t be done.

I have mixed feelings about the trend.

On the one hand, workers should be able to have a healthy work/life balance. With access to emails, chat groups, and texting, it’s easy for a boss to check in after hours and say, “Can you do just one more thing…” If the workplace is in crisis mode, an after-hours check-in could make sense, but aside from that, it is unwarranted and unhealthy. We all need some separation from our work lives and our homes lives (and that barrier has become quite thin lately, with so many people working from home).

However, I can also see quiet quitting going a step too far and turning into apathy. If you’re only willing to do the minimum, you won’t be willing to grow or challenge yourself. You won’t think outside the box, take initiative, challenge yourself, or get creative. In short, you’ll stagnate.

How can leaders push back against quiet quitting?

Leaders are not helpless when it comes to quiet quitting. In fact, they have much more power than they might realize. A person who feels motivated and inspired is not going to want to quit quietly. Someone who feels supported in the workplace, has strong connections with their leader and co-workers, and is engaged in their work is not going to quietly drift into “bare minimum” territory.

Let’s talk about ways leaders can build a team of enthusiastic doers, rather than quiet quitters.

1. Understand the reasons for quiet quitting

Essentially, quiet quitting stems from discontentment. Is your team (or a specific team member) feeling overworked or underappreciated? Are their voices and perspectives stifled in some way? Are they doing work that doesn’t suit their abilities and interests?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, take note! The environment is ripe for quiet quitting.

2. Get to know individuals

Running a team is not just about doling out assignments and making sure work is completed. That is the bare minimum. Effective leaders get to know every individual on their team—their interests, their capabilities, which types of projects energize and excite them, any barriers (including personal struggles) that might be holding them back, etc.

Getting to know your team members takes time and a concerted effort. I suggest meeting regularly with each person one-on-one, asking good questions (e.g. What are your most interesting projects right now? Least interesting? What do you wish you could be doing more of?), and listening closely to their answers. Consider keeping a file on each person to track anything useful that you learn.

3. Work toward a shared vision

When people feel as though they are part of a shared vision, they feel included and energized. Their path is clear (they know the big end goal), and they understand how their work contributes to the vision. This may be an overarching company vision, or it may be a vision you establish as a team. Either way, keep your vision top-of-mind, discuss it often, and make sure everyone understands how they are contributing and pushing the needle. This is true team work.

Effective leaders have no need to fear the quiet quitting trend. If you take the time to truly get to know your team members, make sure they are doing work they love and care about, and work toward a shared vision, you’ll likely have an energized team that is excited about their work and want to contribute. Even if that means stretching themselves past the minimum.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE

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