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“Creating Successful Leaders”

March 12, 2025 How to Build Your Resilience (4 Ways)

Photo by Jef Willemyns on Unsplash

I’ve talked to many people lately who are feeling anxious, exhausted, or full of trepidation. They are like those old No. 2 pencils that have been used down to the nub. They are so worn down, they feel as if they have nothing left to give. If this is you, then I’m sure you can relate to how hopeless and fatigued you feel when you’re in this state.

Many different aspects of life can make us feel this way. We might be experiencing problems within our families, with friends, or with co-workers. Our issues might be related to finances, or maybe they’re linked to a lack of time and being stretched too thin. Our exhaustion and hopelessness may also be related to the world around us—the troubles facing our nation or the “doom and gloom” we pick up from the news or from social media. All of these factors can have a compounding effect, like rocks piled on top of our shoulders. You might not notice one or two rocks, but as troubles and annoyances pile up, the burden gets heavier and harder to bear.

With so much weight on our backs, how to we keep going? And how can we remove some of those “rocks”? One answer is to build resilience.

Building resilience does not usually happen overnight or all at once. Rather, it is a process that should be nurtured over time. Additionally, we do not have to build resilience on our own. In fact, it is a great idea to lean on your community for support. With that in mind, let’s talk about five ways to build your resilience, so you can weather life’s storms.

Step Away

Being resilient does not necessarily mean you have to fight your way through adverse situations. Rather, it can be beneficial if you take some time to distance yourself from your troubles and reflect. This could mean stepping away from your work laptop, excusing yourself from a stressful situation, or logging off and finding a quiet place to think. Physically moving yourself from one room to another can be helpful and can give you a fresh perspective.

When you step away, I encourage you to consider what is causing your stress or anxiety. What is the source? Is there anything you can do to remove or reduce this source? Can you make any changes in the immediate future that will alleviate some of your pressure or give you a break? Stepping away can give you much-needed distance to mull over solutions.

Take Meaningful Breaks

Sometimes we can be resilient through pure willpower and grit but, to me, that is not a long-term solution. When you’re worn thin, you need some time to recuperate, relax, and reenergize. You won’t be at your best if you are completely exhausted, so why not take a break and give yourself a little TLC? Keep in mind, some breaks are better than others. If you take your work laptop with you on a weekend getaway, or if you’re constantly doomscrolling during a vacation, are you really helping your wellbeing? I encourage you to unplug, distance yourself from your stressors, and take a meaningful break.

Log Off

Today, it is far too easy to get sucked into the barrage of “doom and gloom” posts and videos on social media and clickbait “news.” I’m not suggesting you bury your head in the sand and ignore the world around you, but I am suggesting that you limit your exposure to anxiety-inducing news and events. After all, what do you gain by scrolling through your feed and feeling an ever-building sense of dread? Instead, try the following:

  • Give yourself a social media time limit
  • Prioritize reputable news sources
  • Limit your exposure to emotionally charged podcasts or news shows
  • Log off!

Bonus: If you would truly like to disconnect, perhaps sign up for Vox’s newsletter called “The Logoff.” This daily newsletter delivers one concise news story, followed by an uplifting fact or link to a positive story.

Reach Out

Your community is vital when it comes to building resilience. If you have people in your life whom you can trust, confide in, and lean on when times are tough, you will feel much better equipped to weather any troubles that life throws your way. The National Resilience Strategy, put together by the White House on January 18th, 2025, details ways that communities and social circles play a crucial role in resilience. It calls these relationships “foundational” and “essential,” and says they “benefit all systems and should be valued and supported by all sectors to advance resilience.” In short, community matters.

If you’re feeling bone-tired and anxious lately, it may be a good idea to start building your resilience. Take breaks when needed, step away to re-strategize, and limit your exposure to negative or sensational news and social media. And don’t forget to ask for support along the way. You do not need to build your resilience on your own.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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February 19, 2025 Replacing Worry with Action

Worry is a normal human emotion that certainly has its place. It can help us to be more cautious, learn from mistakes, and plan. However, it can also take over our brains and our reasoning. It can paralyze us with fear, make us feel anxious, or flood us with pessimism. This type of worry isn’t productive. In fact, it’s counterproductive. But once we begin to fret about something, it can sometimes be difficult to stop.

How do we end the tailspin of worry and start moving forward productively? One way is to replace worry with action.

Why Do We Worry?

To start, it is useful to consider why we tend to worry. Worrying is all about anticipation—thinking about potential negative outcomes that might occur in the future. We worry when we sense that something bad is about to happen, or when a situation is spiraling out of control.

And sometimes we have good reason to worry. If we’ve experienced similar situations in the past, for instance, we might assume that the current situation will turn out the same. Or, all signs might point to a negative outcome. Or, we have information that indicates things will go poorly.

On the other hand, some worries come from sources that cannot necessarily be trusted. For example, if people around you are worrying about something (an office project, the housing market, the cost of eggs), that might cause you to also worry, even if their fears are unfounded. Additionally, with so much false information and clickbait flying around social media (and the internet, in general), you might find yourself worrying about things that are blown out of proportion or are downright untrue.

While someof your worries might be reasonable and rooted in facts, that doesn’t mean it pays to worry. If you get too caught up in your fears, you don’t do yourself any favors. Instead of falling down the rabbit hole, it’s better to face your worries and use them productively.

Turning Worry into Action

One of the best ways to combat worries is by converting them into actions. Start by taking the time to analyze what is causing your anxiety. Then consider whether you have any sway over the outcome.

Thinking about the root of your anxieties, ask yourself, “What steps can I take to influence the future?” For example, if you’re worried about how a client will react to a certain work project, how can you modify the project to better align with the client’s expectations? Can you give a better presentation to the client? Or redo part of the project? Could you, perhaps, express your fears to your team and ask for their advice? All of these actions are productive and can potentially have a positive impact.

Sometimes, the things that occupy our minds and cause us to worry are things that seem far beyond our control. In that case, we can acknowledge that we are not entirely in charge of the outcome, but we can do our best to move the needle in a positive direction. For example, if you are worried about the current state of politics and the government, you could put some of your energy into volunteering for political campaigns, human rights organizations, or political nonprofits. Another example: if you’re worried about children’s education in the US, you could volunteer at a school, support after-school programs, mentor a student, or donate to organizations focused on education.

Other actions you could take include talking with others about the issues you care about, blogging about them, donating time or money, or starting local or neighborhood groups. These are all great ways to focus your anxieties into action.

While you may be a small fish in a large pond, you have the power to make a difference, even in your own small sphere of influence. If you find yourself worrying about something nonstop, that may be a sign to pause, think about the root cause of your fears, and consider what small actions you could take to produce a positive outcome. Even if something feels beyond your control, your actions can still make a difference to someone (and that, alone, is huge).

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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February 5, 2025 6 Compassionate Leadership Actions

I am a big proponent of heart-led leadership. So many leadership courses, books, and webinars teach us that leaders have to be firm, competent, excellent communicators, and assertive. While those traits can be helpful in leadership, I would put a different trait above them: compassion.

When people think about compassion and kindness in leadership, they may think that means the leader is soft or a “pushover.” In my experience, however, kindness does not automatically mean weakness. It is very possible to be both kind and assertive. It is possible to genuinely care about your people and create firm boundaries and expectations.

Instead of a weakness, I see kindness as a superpower. When you take the time to truly get to know your people, listen to them, and offer genuine compassion and respect, you foster a positive work environment where people want to show up and do good work. When people feel that they are part of a caring team, they will want to put their best foot forward, meet deadlines, and perform at their peak. They’re motivated to do better, because they know the company’s leadership has a vested interest in them and their success.

To establish yourself as a kind, caring leader, you can begin by taking a few action steps that convey your heart-led leadership style. Here are 6 suggestions:

Schedule One-on-Ones

Even busy leaders can find fifteen or twenty minutes to meet one-on-one with a team member. Taking the time to check in with someone individually will not only convey that you care, but will also provide some valuable time for you to get to know the person across the table on a personal level. This can be difficult to achieve in group settings, especially if the person is not terribly open or outspoken.

Get to Know Your People

When engaging in one-on-ones, it’s a good idea to ask a few “get to know you” questions. Start learning about your team members’ backgrounds, families, pets, and interests, and be sure to touch on these things in subsequent meetings (“How is your mom? Is she feeling any better since her accident?”). If you need help remembering details about others, try creating a spreadsheet dedicated to tracking information about each team member—the name of their kids, the type of dog they have, etc. Few people have a perfect memory, and there’s no shame in using a tool to help yourself out.

Open Up

When you’re getting to know others, it is important to reciprocate. Any relationship, including work relationships, are healthiest when they are a two-way street. Offer information about yourself when it seems relevant and appropriate. For example, if your team member is talking about an upcoming vacation, you might tell them a little about your experience visiting that area, or you could talk about your own upcoming trip.

Ask Good Questions (and Listen!)

Asking good questions is an art. When sitting down with someone, it’s important to not just talk at them or ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that prompt a dialogue. These types of questions can help you get to know the other person and will help you gauge the temperature of the workplace (Are tempers hot? Has enthusiasm for a project or client cooled?).

But asking questions isn’t enough. It is also critical to listen to the answers and attempt to understand the other person’s perspective. If you’re unsure about what someone is saying, or you need more details, be sure to ask follow-up questions. Alternatively, you could repeat back what you think you heard by saying, “It sounds like you’re saying XYZ, is that correct?”

Show Genuine Appreciation

Pay attention to your people and show them appreciation whenever they go above and beyond. Call out outstanding performance, recognize achievements, or write out a thank you card. These small acts can make an enormous difference.

Take Action to Improve the Workplace

When sitting down with your people, you might discover that they are unhappy with certain aspects of the workplace. If that’s the case, it is imperative to take steps to create change. You don’t want to be the type of person who is all talk and no action. Rather, if you are genuinely committed to being a positive presence, that means taking meaningful action to improve the workplace and the lives of the people who work for you.

Kindness and compassion are not incompatible with strong leadership. Rather, it can help improve morality, foster a better work environment, and create an energized atmosphere in the office. How might the modern workplace transform if all leaders chose to be kind?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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