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“Creating Successful Leaders”

April 26, 2012 How to Modify Your Behavior Effectively

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

The other day I read something about behavior modification that surprised me with its resonance:

Most of us tend to overestimate how much short-term change we’re capable of, but underestimate our long-term potential.

How true is that? Most of us have been guilty of making a huge resolution that we expected to complete in an unrealistically short period of time. And what happens when we don’t see results in the first few weeks? We get discouraged, of course! Conversely, if we look back on all that we’ve changed or done in a year, and we’re blown away at our courage, perseverance, and hard work.

Because I’m a life and career coach, a lot of what I do tackles the challenge of modifying behavior to change a life or professional career for the better. Since I’ve become a certified Insights Discovery Practitioner, guiding behavioral modification has moved even further to the forefront of all that I do. When you’ve experienced the Insights Model, and received your profile, you learn that you have energy preferences and strengths, and these natural callings or habits result in your preferred way of interacting with others.

The other important thing that you learn through Insights Discovery (or coaching) is that you have the ability to identify the communication style and work preferences of everyone around you. And this is an important half of the puzzle—without this, your self-knowledge would be useless—like a jar of jam with no bread, a bike without tires! You improve your self-awareness so that you can modify your behavior to improve your interactions with others and reach your full potential.

Instead of continuing on the same worn path, consider some of the pointers I’ve outlined for using your self-awareness and knowledge of communication styles to improve your career and your life.

Margaret’s Tips for Modifying Your Behavior to Elevate Interactions

> Identify an area for improvement and all of your behavioral habits involved. Take note of the other individuals involved in this interaction and their observed behavioral habits and preferences.

> Clarify what achieving “success” will mean for you in this scenario. What needs to improve, how much, and what will be the measurement of this? Acknowledge that success may not be immediate.

> Recognize that there are always beliefs lurking behind our impressions and interactions. Have the courage to challenge these beliefs by trying a new approach and/or a new interpretation.

> Practice changing your behavior until it happens without having to think about it. Otherwise, you’re likely to lose your better habits and improved interactions.

> When baffled, consult with someone you trust openly, and without argument or response. Sometimes the observations of someone else is not easy to accept, but an outside perspective will help you to graduate beyond the beliefs that are obstructing your path to positive change.

Interested in learning more about how knowledge of yourself and others can be elevated through Insights Discovery, or how Margaret Smith can help you to realize positive change for individuals, teams, organizations, or classrooms? Contact UXL Today.

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April 9, 2012 How to Get Hired as an Older Worker

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

As I mentioned in a previous post, older unemployed workers face a more of a challenge when searching for employment than other demographics.  I’ve compiled a list of some helpful reminders for the older worker’s job hunt that will help you to keep your best foot forward at all times.

> Never forget what you’re worth: Older workers are dependable, have advanced problem-solving abilities, and are just as productive as younger workers.
> Stay enthusiastic and excited: No matter what your age, if you come off as exhausted, bored, resentful, or frustrated, you’re giving interviewers a bad impression.
> Keep your exchange respectful, no matter your age difference.
> Highlight your creativity through specific examples of your past work.
> Emphasize your past loyalty to your company.
> Edit your resume: Avoid the “too old” impression by limiting your “related experience” to the past 15 years, excluding graduation dates, and paring down your list of employment experience by saying “5+ years” instead of “30 years”.
> Explain you’re prepared to hit the ground running. Share examples of your ability to learn quickly with the interviewer.
> Take advantage of your expansive network—it’s still the best way to find work.
> Keep all mentioned accomplishments current.
> Make sure your dress is up to date, instead of dating you.
> Avoid feelings of defeat or apology for your age—this is not a topic that should be on the table during an interview, nor is it relevant to the conversation.
> Don’t limit your job search to exactly what you were doing before—consider a career change, why not?!
> Don’t mention upcoming retirement hopes.
> Stay current with new technology. Take a class, solicit the help of another, and do your research.

If you’d like help relaying your skills, interviewing, and branding yourself during the job process, contact me today to learn how I can help.

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March 28, 2012 How to Use Intrinsic Validation to Improve Interactions

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

“Be an opener of doors…”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever met a speaker, Psychologist, and Leadership Coach by the name of Louise Griffith? I had the pleasure of hearing her speak as a keynote at the womEn’s conference this month. Some of her messages about communication really stuck with me because of their clear, simple, and truthful nature. Because I’m still thinking about these messages nearly a month later I’ve decided to pass them on to my readers.

When interacting with others, whether on a very personal or professional level, there are certain ways that we can make them feel respected and accepted. You may not always realize it, but the way you respond to others when they express themselves can very easily make them feel unimportant or shut them down—and you may not even know what it was that you did wrong.

One of Louise’s larger ideas concerned something she called “Intrinsic Validation”. Behind this term is the belief that “the most powerful validation you can give another is to care enough to step into their world and listen without giving advice, feedback, or criticism.”

I don’t know about you, but I find that it is often far too easy to fall out of practicing this skill. Luckily, Louise shared some easy to use and remember tools (in the form of phrases and questions) that help you to continue the practice of intrinsic validation.

Louise outlines four components to improving interactions with and validation of others:

Look for the Good:
Stop yourself when you begin to judge and focus on the good in others instead.

See it, then Say It:
When you see another person’s positive effort or good, make sure to share your appreciation or admiration with them.

Listen for the Doors:
The “doors” are the verbal cues as to what someone is thinking. This is where you create a bridge instead of a wall)

Step into Their World:
We’ve all heard the phrase “step into their shoes” because it works.

Most important were the phrases that we can use as tools to immediately improve interactions:

           Tell me more about that.

           Help me understand what you are experiencing.

           Are you OK?

           What I like about your idea is ________ .

I challenge you to pick one of the phrases above and use it in the coming days. I’m confident that you’ll be astonished at how quickly your interactions with others will deepen and improve.

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