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September 16, 2015 Lessons from my Mom’s Birthday Party

With my mom on the train

With my mom on the train

This past summer was my mom’s 85th birthday. It was a special day—full of sunshine, smiles, and delicious food—but the most amazing thing of all is that a whopping 100 people showed up, only a handful of whom were family members. That’s pretty incredible for anyone, let alone an 85 year old, but it makes perfect sense for my mom. She’s an amazing person and I’ve learned many valuable life lessons from her. As I sat back and enjoyed the birthday party, I thought about the qualities my mom has that encouraged 100 friends to get together to celebrate in her honor:

  1. She is an optimist

I know plenty of people my mom’s age who like to complain or gripe about their ailments. Not my mom. She’d rather talk about the sunny weather or family or the latest party she attended. That kind of optimism also leads her to try new things (new foods, new experiences, etc.). She believes that the outcome will be good, no matter the situation.

  1. She is a problem solver

After my Dad passed away my Mom did not want to stay in Florida for Thanksgiving and my other siblings (all in PA) had traditions established.  So, since then she has made the trip to MN to share this holiday with us. This year, however, our son and his wife wanted us all to come out to Montana to spend Thanksgiving there. When I told my mom the news, she didn’t skip a beat…”Great, when do we leave,” is usually the response I can count on.  This year we are going to Oregon to spend the holiday with our youngest son–another adventure she did not flinch at.

  1. She’s active

Even though she’s not as young as she used to be, my mom still keeps active and energized. She often hosts dinner parties (something even young people can find exhausting!) and loves to go out and socialize with friends. She’s great at keeping in touch with people and enjoys going out and about with her many acquaintances.

  1. She cares about others

My mom still volunteers in her community. She finds it important to lend a helping hand to others. And she’s not afraid to reach out and ask if someone needs something. That kind of generosity has led her to be well-respected and loved in her community.

We can all learn a lot from the optimistic, big-hearted way my mom leads her life. Do you want 100 friends to show up at your 85th birthday party? If so, start making positive changes in your life today. If you need some guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out and contact me today.

With my mom and sister

With my mom and sister

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, LICENSED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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August 26, 2015 The Road Trip (Stretching Outside Your Box)

I am very fortunate to have a family beach house in Delaware and try to spend some time there each summer.  This year I was able to navigate three weeks at the beach, which has never happened before.  That was my stretch…both managing before I left to have everything in order and then slowing down while I was there to really appreciate the ocean, the smells, the sounds, the food, and sand in my shoes.
This year my husband found it necessary to fly back to Minnesota early and I was facing the long drive back alone. While in a conversation with a college friend, we both expressed disappointment that we were not going to see each other this summer. I mentioned the long drive back and then, it struck me! Her company on this trip would be awesome and a great way to catch up.  I posed the question, “Want to go on a road trip?”  Her response, “I’ve never been on a road trip but it sounds like a great adventure. I’m in!”
The trip went faster than it ever had, 1,100 miles of talking, laughing, sharing, questioning and comparing.  It was great.  She had never been to Minnesota, (good thing this trip was in August!) so it was fun to show her the place I call home. She stayed one additional day and then flew home.  I received a text from her when she landed in Baltimore: “That was fun, where are we going next?!”

The moral of the story: It’s healthy and beneficial to stretch outside your comfort zone, whether that means talking to a stranger on the sidewalk, applying for your dream job, or writing a book. Look for opportunities to learn, grow, and reach for those stars. You’ll be happy you did.

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August 12, 2015 Having Clarity

In my mind, having clarity comes in two parts. You have to give clarity and ask for clarity. If you are in charge of a project or leading a team, don’t assume that everyone already knows your expectations. Make those expectations clear and leave room for others to ask questions. Put yourself in others’ shoes and anticipate questions that might come your way.

On the flip side, if you’re on the receiving end of a project or initiative, don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions. It is much better to make sure your idea of the project’s end state aligns with the actual anticipated end state then to muddle your way through it and hope you’re doing what’s expected of you. One good way to make sure you completely understand your assignment is to repeat back what you think you heard. Something like: “Okay, Bill. It sounds like you’re saying we need to come up with a better social media marketing strategy for product X, and we have two weeks to get you a proposal. Is that correct?”

Having Clarity is one of the chapters in my book, The Ten Minute Leadership Challenge, and I go into much more detail in those pages about how to give and ask for clarity.

I’ve also made a short video about Having Clarity based off the principles outlined in my book. Enjoy!

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