Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions
March 10, 2021 The “I Already Won” Mentality
How do you feel when you know something is a “sure thing?” When actions are familiar and easy—driving a car, making a familiar recipe, doing a daily task at work—you do them almost automatically. You know you’ll achieve what you’ve set out to do. These everyday, routine tasks can be thought of as wins—tiny victories that are a sure bet.
But what if we dared to believe that other, bigger actions were also wins? What if we assumed we will give a flawless presentation, sign on a new client, or solve a problem?
There’s a certain amount of swagger and confidence that accompanies this “I already won” mentality. If you’re certain, for instance, that you’re going to sign on a new client, your body language, tone, and the content of your speech changes. You convey that this action will happen. It’s inevitable.
Using the above example, you might start speaking to the potential new client using different language and terms. You might say, “When we start working together,” instead of “If we end up working together.” Or, you might say, “You’re going to love X, Y, and Z,” instead of, “If we work together, you’ll enjoy X, Y, and Z.”
Using stronger, more confident language is only one positive side effect of an “I already won” mentality. You’ll also find that your body language changes. You may become more relaxed and less anxious or tense. You won’t sound desperate to land the client or nervous that you said the wrong thing. When your body language relaxes, you’ll end up seeming more approachable and inviting—qualities people tend to appreciate.
When you’re confident that you will achieve a certain victory, you start moving beyond the stage where you worry and fret about the outcome and begin thinking about what you will do once you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do. This way of thinking is productive and forward-looking.
And what happens if you DO fail?
It’s bound to happen at some point, but my best advice is this: Don’t dwell on it. It likely wasn’t your confidence or approachability that was the problem; it was something else. Maybe a potential client simply couldn’t afford your offering. Maybe you didn’t get that promotion because you needed to have a certain certificate. Whatever the case, it’s best to pick yourself up, re-strategize, and keep moving forward.
With confidence.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: change attitude change life, confidence-boosting techniques, I already won mentality, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, positive thinking, winning attitude, winning mentality
July 1, 2020 Doing Unto Others (the Platinum Rule)
In an era when it’s increasingly common to talk with others through a screen, people are becoming more and more nasty to each other. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of scrolling through social media before you encounter harsh words, name-calling, and general bullying.
Though messages of hope DO exist in social media feeds, it’s easy to be distracted or pulled down by the negative ones.
This online rudeness, unfortunately, seems to be bleeding over to the “real world” a bit. We see it in neighbors who light firecrackers until one in the morning, not bothering to think about those with PTSD or terrified pets or children. We find it in people who shout at or ignore those who have differing opinions, instead of engaging them in a thoughtful dialogue.
Much of this nastiness could be eliminated if we practice a little empathy and follow the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would like done unto themselves.
The Golden Rule is fine (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you), but not everyone wants to be treated as YOU want to be treated. Different people have different needs, sensitivities, and enjoyments. People do not come in a one-size-fits-all package, and that’s what makes life so interesting and colorful.
The Platinum Rule also forces you to go deeper–to consider what it would be like to walk a mile in another person’s shoes. It makes you shift perspectives, ask questions, and do some thoughtful reflection. It shows you truly care.
So, as you step forward into this sometimes difficult world, do your best to be kind. Choose your words and actions carefully, knowing that they could either help or harm another human. Your efforts can make a difference. They can create positive change.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: do unto others platinum rule, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, online harrassment, platinum not golden rule, practicing kindness
January 23, 2019 This Year’s No-Sweat Guide to Better Networking
When you hear the word “networking,” what comes to mind? Do you see yourself with sweaty palms and anxiety pressing on your chest? Do you picture people wearing phony smiles and handing out business cards like free samples at the grocery store? Do you think about making awkward small talk over a soup and salad lunch?
Networking doesn’t have to be this way! In fact, it shouldn’t be this way. When done properly, networking is all about helping one another and making valuable connections. It isn’t about forcing business cards onto those who aren’t interested in your services. It isn’t about trying to frantically gather as many new connections as possible. It’s about quality interactions that are mutually beneficial.
To overcome your mental barriers, actually enjoy (gasp!) networking, and start making valuable connections, try using the following guidelines at your next event. Who knows, the next person you meet could propel your career, offer important guidance or support, or connect you with yet another person who can help you meet your career goals.
1. Reframe Your Thinking
Give networking a new name! Instead of thinking of it as “networking,” think of it as bridge-building, growing your community, or meeting interesting new people. By reframing the way you think about networking, you can overcome some of the mental obstacles associated with it.
2. Always Aim To Provide Value
Don’t try to sell your services to someone who clearly does not need them. Your goal should be to provide value to other people, to figure out how you might be able to help them. Ask questions to unearth needs and discover whether or not your skillset or offerings align with their requirements.
3. Create A Tagline
Businesses have their own slogans and taglines—McDonalds has “I’m Lovin’ It,” Nike has “Just Do It,” Maybelline has “Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s Maybelline.” These are phrases that stick in your head because they’re punchy and give you some sense of the brand’s image and values. Create your own career tagline to describe what you do. It should be straightforward, but memorable. Some examples are:
“I write business content, so you don’t have to”
“I build beautiful websites with personality”
“I make social media marketing easy”
4. Ask Good Questions
A great way to open the floor for a positive interaction is to ask questions. Be genuinely curious about the other person and learn about what they do, their interests, and how you might be able to help them. Ask open-ended questions (typically, questions that start with “How,” “What,” or “Why”) and actively listen to the answers.
Asking questions can help you learn about the other person’s personality and their business needs. It allows you to play off their social cues and lets them drive the conversation. In other words, it’s the perfect tactic for anyone who suffers from networking anxiety!
Showing an interest in others is not only good for building your personal image (others will see you as generous and curious), it’s also a great way to do some detective work. Just don’t forget to tell the other person a little bit about yourself as well!
5. Follow Up
You’ve put in all the legwork to connect with others—don’t let it go to waste! Make a concerted effort to follow up at least a couple times, add your new connection to your email list, and befriend them on LinkedIn. In other words, make yourself present in their sphere. Even if they do not need your services at the moment, they may need them eventually.
Get out there and make this year your best bridge-building year yet! Keep in mind that you’re probably not the only one with networking jitters. Do your best to relax and ask good questions, and you’ll put both yourself and others at ease. You’ve got this!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: easy networking, improve networking skills, learning to network, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, network minneapolis, Networking
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