Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions
July 5, 2012 The Key to Business Success Is All Around You
By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER
I was surprised to discover two really helpful articles in the recent USA Weekend insert written by Stephanie Weaver (usaweekend.com) in my Stillwater Gazette. I decided to share some of the most important ideas with my readers.
The first article deals with building a successful business, and offers the key to this success: Build the perfect team. Does it sound like a great solution? Sure. Does it sound like an easy solution? If you’ve ever worked on a team, then your answer is probably a little less definitive.
Have you ever found yourself assigned to a group project at work, and caught yourself dreading it? This is probably because there’s some work to be done not on your project, but on your team. “Team building is a way to be in control of your life.” says Robyn Benincasa, world champion adventure racer and author of How Winning Works: 8 essential leadership lessons from the toughest teams on earth.
Build your team, and gain control of your life. A rather interesting concept, right? I couldn’t help but recognize the truth behind this insight. The less out of control or imbalanced your team is, the more weight each member has, and the more democratic things become.
Benincasa had a wide variety of experiences to thank for such great advice. She left the corporate world to take on expedition-level competitions that ask participants to hike jungles and mountains, cross lava fields and survive rapids.
Who crosses the finish line first is as much about who you’re with as how you train, she says.
Although you may not be inclined to enter the world of extreme sports in search of wisdom, you may be interested in stealing some of her tricks:
Play to the Strengths
Recognize one another’s strengths and weaknesses (we all have them) and tap into them by divvying out tasks accordingly. Leave egos at the door.
Stop the Finger Pointing
Nothing defeats team spirit more than singling out someone’s flaw. All teams—whether work or personal—are built on respect. “Lead by strength, not title”, and squash any negative remarks as soon as they come up.
Take Benincasa’s Test
Do you look at people as potential competitors or potential teammates? If you’re trying to compete, flip a mental switch. The world is full of potential teammates.
After reading great teambuilding tips from a revered adventurer, I decided to consider the challenge of teambuilding with my own set of tools and experiences. About a year and a half ago, I discovered a personal assessment tool that’s brought teambuilding to a whole new, easy to understand level: Insights Discover.
Insights Discovery is a great tool for building team respect and eliminating competition. The program does this by helping teams to recognize the value and skills that each person offers, no matter how different they from you. A well-balance team is the key to seeing all perspectives and getting work done on time with reduced conflict and stress. If you’d like to explore the benefits of Insights for your work group, please contact me today.
Tags: Career Coach Advice, Improving Relationships, Insights Discovery, Teambuilding, Teams
June 6, 2012 Creative Ways to Say “No”
By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER
In life, there is one fact that is without a doubt true: your time is priceless. Because of this, it’s important to make sure that time is spent on the things most important to you and your long-term priorities. Are you using your time in a way that reflects your values and skills?
In order to help you make sure that you use your time meaningfully, I’ve compiled a list of creative ways to suavely decline the requests of others. Although it’s important to offer your time and support to those around you, whether at work or in your personal life, it’s also paramount that you say “no” for your own goals (and sanity!).
13 Ways to Artfully Decline
“I’m really not the best fit for __________.” “This sounds like a great opportunity, but my schedule is packed.” “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m sorry, I can’t.” “I really can’t do that right now, but have you considered __________?” “I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.” “I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.” “It’s against my personal policy to __________.” “Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.” “I can’t take this on for personal reasons.” “I have other commitments.” “I can’t take on another project at this time.” “I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.” “I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”I hope that these easy responses help you to take more control of your time and your schedule. Remember, you shouldn’t consider saying “yes” unless you’re enthusiastic about the project and the way that it aligns to your values and priorities.
Tags: Career Coach Advice, Delegation, How to Change Your Life, How to Get a Life, How to Say No
May 23, 2012 Musings from a Week with My Mother
By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER
I had the opportunity to spend this past week with my mother. She’s 82 and still has the ability to teach me something if I just watch and listen. Below are just a few of the things I learned.
1) Slow down: She doesn’t walk as fast as I do anymore. Rather than forcing her to try to keep up, I walked beside her. It’s amazing what you see and how much less stressed you look when you just go a little slower. We still got everything done we needed to and got where we had to be on time.
2) Read to children: My mother is a retired second grade teacher, the mother of 5, and grandmother of 14. Therefore, she has a lot of experience with this. Every afternoon two of my neighbors girls, ages 4 and 7 came over for reading time. They sat on my front porch and just read and talked: Curious George, The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, Wing a Ding, The Song and Dance Man (one of my favorites), and Old Henry. The pile grew as the week went by and so did her anticipation of the door bell ringing. I swear she got 10 years younger every time they showed up!
3) Exercise every day: My mother wasn’t a jazzercise freak or a health club junkie as I was growing upl. She chased 5 kids around, gardened, raised chickens, and drove the tractor for my father as he baled hay. They were city kids who moved out to the farm and dove headfirst. My dad was a chemical engineer for Du Pont who took his tie off in the car on his way home and was on the tractor in 15 minutes. My mom walked every day while she was here, even if it was just around the block, and did some sit ups and few good stretches. No one can call her sedentary.
4) Only eat until you’re full: I’ll never forget how she would load our plates with food and then make sure we cleaned them, no leaving anything—even those peas I hate—on the plate! Her secret now is slightly different: Only put a small portion of food on your plate, and don’t go back for seconds you probably don’t really need. She’s now in better shape than she was at 52.
5) Ask for help and appreciate it: It seems easy when you are 82. Everyone will hold a door, pick up a bag, take your suitcase off the carousel—my mother’s a great delegator. Her philosophy is similar to the quote I use with my boys, “You don’t get what you don’t ask for.” Well, maybe I should listen to my own advice. My mother got more help from strangers simply by asking and showing appreciation, smiling and joking with people, than most of us do from our own families.
6) Be “the face” for your children and grandchildren: She would always remind us, “if you don’t know what to do or if what you are about to do is right or wrong, just envision my face coming in front of you, you’ll know what to do.” My boys remember this advice, and have told me numerous times it saved them from making stupid decisions. We see parents every day doing dumb things in front of their children, using language that I’d be embarrassed for my mother to hear, so why are we surprised when kids act the same way? I’m glad my boys have my mother’s face to keep them focused on being and doing good.
7) Give away what you don’t use: Look in your closet and cupboards. Why do we have all that stuff?! Is it holding you back or holding you down? Could you have spent that money on a vacation or helping someone that really needed it? Mom’s reduced her ‘stuff’ dramatically over the past 5 years, giving most of what she doesn’t use to a local mission. Having her with me this week made me want to clean out a few closets, which I plan on doing tomorrow!
The lessons I learn from my mother span on and on, but the 7 listed above are a great start. These lessons help me to realize the impact she made on all of us, and not just the people that live in my house. Her smile and willingness to get involved and reach out was an inspiration. I can’t wait until I get another week with her.
I hope that this story helps you to make the most of the people in your life, and lessons they have to offer.
Margaret
Tags: How to Change Your Life, Improving Relationships, Life Coaching
