Category Archives: Thrive at Work
July 13, 2016 9 Ways to Ask for What You Want
You’ve probably heard phrases like, “You don’t get what you don’t ask for” or “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” There’s a reason those idioms are popular—they’re absolutely true!
It isn’t enough to secretly wish for something; the best way to get what you want is to take clear, direct action. Oftentimes, that means having the courage to call upon others for help or guidance. It means starting a dialogue and expressing your desires.
Why do we so often hesitate to ask for what we want?
This hesitation can stem from a fear of feeling vulnerable or unworthy, or the belief that successful people never ask for help. All of these fears work within us to maintain the status quo and prevent us from seeking the change we desire.
Don’t let your pride keep you from asking for what you want. This is a lesson I learned as a senior leader at 3M and one that I now apply to my current work as a career coach. It’s okay to lean on others and ask for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own!
Whether you’d like to ask for a raise, take on a new project, or revamp an outdated work system, have the courage to speak up. Seek out the areas where you desire change and begin asking the right people for help.
Harder than it sounds, right?
In order to overcome the hesitation you might feel to ask for what you want, I’ve put together these 9 guidelines:
- Be honest with yourself about your current dreams and needs—know what you want.
- Seek support from the experts and professionals around you who can best support your goals.
- Always believe that what you’re asking for is possible.
- Be genuine about your wants and honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses.
- Consider sending an email or making a phone call to introduce yourself to those who you think may be of service. Outline your needs, but don’t be pushy. Take the time to build a trusting relationship.
- Always be passionate about what you request.
- Never let fear prevent you from acting.
- Anticipate that not everyone will be able or willing to help, and always allow for a gracious opportunity for others to bow out.
- Be persistent—try, try, and try again until you achieve success.
Don’t let your inner saboteur get in the way of your own success—believe that you are deserving of what you want, and have the courage to ask for it.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: ask for what you want, career advice, career ask for raise, career be direct, career coach Minneapolis, how to approach your boss, how to ask for a raise, margaret smith career coach, UXL blog, UXL career coaching
June 22, 2016 Get Unstuck from Life’s Ruts
When you’re in a rut–be it in a job, in between jobs, or just in general–becoming “unstuck” can be very difficult. While in this position, you may feel trapped, unmotivated or defeated. You may be tempted to settle. Don’t!
We all get in ruts, at times feeling trapped by our circumstances, and that is okay. However, the worst thing to do in this situation is to remain engaged in whatever it is that is making you feel unsatisfied. Something needs to change and change requires action. Today, I’ll give you five tried and true ways to free yourself from the funk so you can get back to living a rewarding life.
Get out of the comfort zone!
Often the real cause of feeling stuck comes from the very habits we’ve created to be more comfortable. Our comfort zone feels good, but also has the potential to keep us from experiencing life. When we see too much of the same thing day after day, it’s easy to fall into the doldrums. Do something new! Try painting or photography or learn video editing. Attend a networking event or retreat. Work through your reservations and put yourself out there. In doing so, you’ll prove to yourself that you’re adaptable and resilient to setbacks. And, who knows, maybe you’ll find a talent or passion you were not even aware of.
Exercise, exercise, exercise
We often forget that the brain is part of the body, and the body was made to move. Research continues to confirm that the brain performs better, and the body feels better, when we exercise.1 Whether it’s yoga, jogging, taking a walk or lifting weights, daily physical activity will motivate you to get out of the funk by stimulating your brain.
Travel somewhere new
Like exercise, travel stimulates the brain as well (probably due to the fact that we humans were nomadic creatures not too long ago). It’s in our nature to crave a change of scenery. It doesn’t need to be an expensive, extravagant trip. It can be something as simple as a weekend trek to a neighboring state, a train ride across the country, or a camping adventure with the family.
Make a point to be kind to those around you
This obvious step is easily ignored when we get trapped in ruts. We become so wrapped up in ourselves, we forget to reach out and engage with others. Taking time at work, at home, and with friends to connect and share is one of the best ways to enrich your life. Kindness is reciprocal, after all.
Try reading for pleasure (every day!)
Reading for pleasure forces your brain to create entire worlds out of thin air, and books offer differing perspectives on life that you may have never considered. What’s more, reading gives you time to recover from life’s little struggles and have a moment to yourself. It also works as a great sleeping aid if you get into the habit of reading right before bed.
These suggestions promote positive change, but the key to each of these is your attitude. You must eliminate the words “wish, hope, maybe, and should” from your vocabulary and replace them with “can, will, and do.” In most cases, feeling stuck is temporary and common.* You have the power to get yourself out of it. Trust that you will!
1 “The Human Brain,” The Franklin Institute, accessed October 22, 2012, http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/exercise.html
2 “Staying on Top of Your Game,” Psychology Foundation of Canada, accessed October 22, 2012, http://www.psychologyfoundation.org/pdf/TopOfYourGame/3.pdf
*It should be noted that a “rut” is much different than dealing with depression or other mental disorders that cause a permanent “low” feeling. When in doubt, consult a physician.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, don't be stagnant, exercise and the brain, get unstuck, get unstuck from ruts, lift yourself up, out of comfort zone, UXL career coaching
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May 25, 2016 Four Strategies for Staying Calm During a Crisis
At one time or another, we all must deal with a crisis or emergency, whether at work, at home, or out in the world. While we can never know where or when these events might occur, there are steps we can take to ready ourselves for when that time comes. When we have trained to navigate a crisis, we can remain calm. Remaining calm can give others peace of mind; this will encourage them to focus on the task at hand, and remedy the crisis, instead of worrying about possible outcomes. Here are four strategies for remaining calm during a crisis:
Have a Plan: Chances are, your building or office has a first aid kit on site and fire evacuation plan established. It is just as important to plan for business-related crises. With a plan in place, you can tackle a situation proactively, rather than reactively. While there may be no way to plan for every possible scenario, there is value in preparing for potential crises, such as handling a hesitant client or defusing a public relations issue. With a clear crisis management plan, team members can efficiently collaborate to address the situation and begin to execute the plan.
Breathe In, Breathe Out: When under mental or emotional stress, your body physiologically reacts; with rapid breathing and increased pulse, your brain may be too worried about your well-being to concentrate on the crisis in front of you. Turning your focus to your breathing for a few short minutes can return you to your previous state. Try breathing in through your nose for five seconds and exhaling out of your mouth for seven seconds. Now, with a calm body and mind, you can pay attention to the current emergency.
Be Your Own Cheerleader: The concept of fake it until you make it has some credence to it; even if you don’t always feel confident or brave, telling yourself that you are can help boost your self-esteem. Out loud or in your mind, tell yourself that you know you’re smart and capable enough to conquer the task before you. This is a strategy that you could use every day; that way, when crises arise, you may not need the internal pep talk like you did before. Additionally, when you emanate this confidence in front of your team members, they are more willing to rally behind you and have trust your capabilities.
Practice Mindfulness: In moments of crises, your mind can flood with what-if thoughts and negative outcomes. When you practice mindfulness, you can concentrate on the current task without being distracted by unhelpful thoughts and emotions. This allows for better ideas for crisis resolution in a shorter amount of time. If you want to train yourself to be more mindful, you can practice outside of work: focus on each step you take as you walk the dog or concentrate on each dish as you wash it.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: breathing exercises, keeping a confident calm, keeping calm at work, practice mindfulness work, strategies to keep calm, ways to keep calm
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