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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

January 7, 2015 5 Steps to Changing Your Life

This is the time of year many people start thinking about making major changes in their lives. The New Year is symbolic; it’s a marker that traditionally rings out the old and ushers in the new. For many of my clients, it is a time when they come to me for guidance, looking to overhaul their careers or embark on an entirely new journey.

If you find yourself at a similar crossroads, wondering what direction to choose or what action to take, don’t ignore your impulses. It’s good and healthy to reflect on our lives every once in a while and now is as good a time as any. But reflection is typically not enough. Many people need the right tools to help them sort out the kinks in their lives. With this in mind, I’ve created an exercise to help you think about the changes you might need to make and the steps you could take to make your visions a reality.

NOW is the time to move forward and make positive changes in your career and personal life. Not tomorrow.

Find a Quiet Place to Consider the Following:

1. When we feel dissatisfied, it’s natural to jump to the conclusion that everything needs a major overhaul. Instead of rewriting the entire book, begin by considering what is going well, what is working for you, and what don’t you want to change. List four positive aspects of your life (this could be your family, community, relationship, job, etc.) and explain why you feel they are going well.

2. Consider one area you would like to change. What does that changed area look like? What is the first step for creating this change that immediately comes to mind? Imagine your first step has been accomplished. What are the next three things that have to happen? Now you game plan is starting to take shape, bringing your vision closer to reality.

3. Do you worry you don’t have the time? Fill in your typical daily activities on the timeline below. Where could you reclaim an extra 30 minutes? Does that rerun on television or updating your Facebook page three times each day really deserve your attention?

chart

4. Admit to yourself that none of this is easy. In fact, creating change can seem daunting, and we are tempted to abandon our efforts when faced with obstacles. Jot down at least five challenges you anticipate and a list of people you could call to help. Is there a friend who you consider an expert in developing a business plan, giving professional advice, or writing résumés? Perhaps reaching out to these people are important steps in your creation of change.

5. Throughout our day we talk to ourselves, and this voice is not always positive. Realize that negative self-talk can stall your efforts. What do you say to yourself regularly that is especially debilitating? Try to let go of two negative messages you send yourself this week. Identify your personal saboteur, give your negative feelings a name, and banish them from your space. Once you have successfully banished these two, aim to fend off two more negative thoughts next week. If you get in the habit of thinking about yourself and your capabilities in a positive light, I guarantee you’ll feel a weight lift off your shoulders and you’ll be more energized to make constructive changes in your life.

Interested in some guidance as you make your plan for the New Year? Contact UXL Today!

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December 24, 2014 5 Easy Ways to Show Gratitude

Last month’s newsletter was on the importance of gratitude, but I wanted to give you five quick ways you can show it. During the holiday season, it is easy to feel overwhelmed with a long list of things to do—buy presents, prepare food, clean the house, shovel the driveway, etc.—and it’s easy to forget our manners in the shuffle.

Think about the wonderful people around you and remember why we celebrate this time of year. Be grateful for those people and show them your appreciation when they open their home, share their food with you, or buy you a present. Here are five easy ways you can show your gratitude:

1. Say (and write) thank you.

Even if you act grateful (enjoying your meal, praising the gift someone gave you, etc.), it’s still nice to hear the words Thank You. They are worth a lot, especially when said with meaning. And don’t forget the power of a handwritten thank you note. It’s a gesture that shows that you cared enough about the other person that you took time out of your busy day to write something thoughtful.

2. Listen

Too often, we are so busy with all the thoughts in our own heads that we miss what others are saying. Show the person across the table from you that you are grateful for their presence. Sincerely listen to what they have to say before jumping in with your own story or opinion.

3. Extend an invitation and follow through

If there is someone at the office (or perhaps an old friend or relative) with whom you’d like to connect, reach out to them! Too often, we become comfortable in our own cozy bubbles and forget the people at the peripheries of our lives. It’s as simple as asking someone to lunch or a quick cup of coffee.

4. Lend a hand

Whether it’s cleaning up the dishes after a friend’s holiday party or offering to help your secretary prepare for the next office get together, it’s always nice to give others support by helping out.

5. Acknowledge others’ successes

It could be a co-worker, it could be your son or daughter—practice showing gratitude to others by acknowledging their good work. You could do this publicly (i.e. in a company meeting or when you’re gathered together at lunch) or privately. Share a specific example of what that person did or accomplished and let them know you appreciate their excellent work.

It is not difficult to show gratitude, but sometimes it does take conscious effort. Practice being mindful this holiday season and focus on the positive aspects of your life, rather than the negative ones. This way, gratitude will be at the top of your mind and saying things like “thank you” or “I appreciate you because…” will come naturally.

Happy holidays! I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog.

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December 17, 2014 Top 20 Stress-Busting Tips

It’s the holiday season and things can get hectic. Take a bite out of stress! Here are some quick practices to help you relax and revitalize:

  1. Breathe deeply

The steady rhythm of your breath has a calming effect on the mind, much like any repetitive, soothing sound or motion.

  1. Eat a healthy lunch

According to Dr. Pat Bass, a healthy diet is an essential element to combating stress.

  1. Exercise

Find something that works for YOU and practice it regularly!

  1. Mind relaxers

Do a crossword puzzle, squeeze a stress ball, paint a picture, doodle in your notebook.

  1. Yoga/mindfulness

Yoga helps you focus on the ebb and flow of your breath, as well as releasing the tension in your muscles

  1. Schedule “you time”

Write it on the calendar! Set aside some time to do exactly what you want to do.

  1. Schedule family time

According to the Mental Health Foundation, “A key way to protect your mental health against the potential detrimental effects of work related stress is to ensure you have a healthy work-life balance.”

  1. Walk outside

Vitamin D is essential for your skin and just being in the outdoors has a revitalizing, rejuvenating effect

  1. Laugh

Laughter reduces stress, according to the Mayo Clinic. Watch a funny movie, read the comics, or go to a comedy show.

  1. Be present

Focus on the here and now instead of getting stressed about the future or regretting something in the past. My book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, devotes an entire chapter to this concept.

  1. Network/reconnect with friends/find your support group

We all need a support group. If you have close friends in the area, make an effort to reach out to them from time to time. If not, find a supportive community through meet-up groups, your local community center, etc. My last newsletter on Building Community discusses this topic in-depth.

  1. Indulge in your interests

Do you like to knit? Paint? Practice Tae Kwon Do? Work your interests into your schedule

  1. Massage

Everyone loves a professional massage, but if you’re short on time or don’t want to spend the money, give yourself a hand massage or shoulder rub.

  1. Listen to music

“Music calms the savage beast” and it can also reduce tension. Pick your favorite genre and let Pandora find the perfect music mix for you.

  1. Practice gratitude

As I mentioned in my November newsletter, a grateful person is generally a happier, more optimistic person.

  1. Count/recite a mantra

The rhythm of counting or reciting a mantra can help calm your mind. Additionally, a positive mantra (i.e. “I can do anything,” “I am smart and strong,” or “Nothing can get in my way”) can give you an added confidence boost.

  1. Close your eyes

Sometimes closing your eyes is a good way to distance yourself from your troubles. It also helps you focus on your thoughts without letting visual distractions get in the way.

  1. Get organized

A neat and tidy desk or house can help focus your thoughts. Too much clutter can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress.

  1. Free write

Get your thoughts down on paper. Write whatever comes to mind if you’re feeling overwhelmed and want to sort through a complex issue.

  1. Plan a vacation

Even if you don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, it’s fun to plan a future vacation. It also gives you something to work towards—a long term reward.

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