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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith Twin Cities

September 9, 2020 How to Gather the Courage to Speak Up

“Silence is usually seen as agreeing.” –Sonya Parker

You probably know it when you see it. Something feels off or problematic. Something feels unethical. We encounter these situations in our daily lives, as well as in the workplace—instances when our morals are put to the test. It’s easy to assume that if you “see something, you’ll say something,” but it can be difficult to take action when you’re put on the spot.

How, then, can you gather the courage to speak up? Start with these methods:

Understand Your Power

When a situation is unethical or potentially harmful, one strong voice of dissent can make a huge difference. Chances are, if you’re not okay with something, others are not okay with it either. If you take a stance, others will hopefully gain the courage to follow suit.

Develop Your Approach

It can be intimidating to face your peers or your supervisors and let them know what you think. You might worry about retaliation or not being taken seriously. To combat these fears, it pays to 1) Plan and 2) Talk to others

Your planning might involve laying out bullet points to argue your case. Pinpoint the problem you perceive and explain why you think it’s a problem. Then, prepare some potential alternatives or solutions.

Talking with others helps to build an alliance around your plan. You certainly don’t want to create an “Us vs. Them” mentality, but it is helpful to talk to one or two trusted colleagues to let them know your stance. They might help you refine your plan, offer alternative solutions, or simply provide support.

Determine Your “When”

When you speak out is nearly as important as what you say. If, for instance, you interrupt during a meeting and begin telling everyone about your view, that might not go over as well as, say, setting up a private meeting with the decision-maker or respectfully speaking out during a meeting.

Face Your Fears

It can be frightening to take a stand, but I would argue that it’s even worse to stay silent. If you neglect to say something, you’ll have to live with the unethical or problematic situation, day-in, day-out. It won’t magically go away, unless another brave individual takes a stand.

If your workplace retaliates against you for speaking up, is that really the kind of environment you want to work in? I know that switching jobs sounds daunting, especially in this uncertain economy, but it’s certainly not impossible. Talk with a career coach if you’re thinking about making a switch.

Your voice has power. If something is making you uncomfortable, take a step back, make a plan, and speak up. Tap into your reserves of courage, trust yourself, and take action. Doing so can make a big difference and it will likely help you build confidence in yourself.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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August 5, 2020 It’s Not Selfish To Take a Break…

coffee and book
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Though I’m generally an optimistic person, there is a lot of hardship in the world lately that has been weighing me down. And I know I’m not alone. When I tune into the news, comb through social media, or talk to friends or acquaintances, I feel a general sense of dread and uncertainty. Many people are unemployed or underemployed, the pandemic is keeping us isolated and frustrated, the economy is uncertain, social issues have the country severely divided…it’s a lot to take in.

During this time of turmoil and strife, it’s crucial to remember to be kind to yourself (as well as others!). You have to remember that, although you are strong, you are just one person. Besides, it’s difficult to make positive change or be a support for others when you’re worn thin and tired.

If the world is weighing on your shoulders and you’re feeling helpless or downright exhausted, I encourage you to set aside time for self-care and rejuvenation. You deserve it. You need it.

Here are 5 ideas for rejuvenating yourself and returning to a positive place in your life:

1. Go Easy On Yourself

Start your rejuvenation journey by forgiving yourself and acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers. You can’t be everything for everyone. You don’t have to be put together all the time. You don’t have to be perfect.

It’s easy to compare yourself to others when you’re on social media. Others’ pictures of perfection (baking bread, sewing COVID masks, flawlessly homeschooling their children) are just that: PICTURES. They don’t show the entire reality. They don’t show the struggles and tears.

If comparing yourself to others is dragging you down, stop tuning in. Take a break from Facebook and Instagram. When you find yourself wanting to click on social media, read an eBook instead or a play a game. Create some “social distance,” and see how it changes your world.

2. Find Daily Quiet Time

Setting aside time every day for quiet reflection, journaling, reading, yoga, etc. can make a world of difference. Even 15 minutes or half an hour can help reinvigorate your brain and put you in a better place. Let your family know that you would like to set aside this time—your “me time”—so you make sure it is peaceful and uninterrupted.

3. Develop Daily Patterns

It’s possible your old life patterns were interrupted by COVID, which can cause you to feel unsettled or edgy. Find creative ways to carve out new daily patterns. For instance, if you used to have a 30-minute commute where you sipped coffee and prepared for your day, you can still set up a morning “commute,” even if you’re now working from home. Make coffee and take the dog for a walk, as you mentally prepare for your day (OR make tea and sit on your porch for a few minutes OR eat breakfast and jot out your daily to-do list…whatever works for you!).

4. Take a Staycation

If you are not working, or if you have the time to step away from work for a while, set aside a week or so and take a staycation. You could stay at a local hotel, but basing yourself out of your own home works just as well. Be a tourist in your own town—visit local parks and museums, eat lunch on a patio, discover parts of the city you’ve never seen before, go for a scenic drive. Most importantly, don’t stress! Sleep in, practice good self-care, read that book you’ve been meaning to read.

If you wanted to take your staycation to the next level, you could visit other countries from the comfort of your living room. Take virtual museum tours, order or make food from a specific country, and immerse yourself in books or movies set in that country. Your creativity is your only limiting factor!

5. Stay Active

Exercise releases endorphins and helps keep you healthy. Even when you’re feeling downtrodden, it pays to make a concerted effort to stay active. Ride your bike, take long walks, lift a few weights, turn on some music and dance—staying active will empower both your body and your mind. Figure out what works best for you and incorporate it into your weekly routine.

You deserve rejuvenation. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and taking concerted, conscious breaks will help you endure today’s hardships. You’ve got this! And if you’d like to chat, I’m here.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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July 29, 2020 The Courage to Change Your Mind

It takes courage to admit when you’re wrong, and it takes even more courage to shift your perspective and open yourself to change. The older we get, the easier it is to do things the same way day in, day out. We become entrenched in our beliefs, and it becomes more and more difficult to shift our way of thinking.

In psychology, this “set in your ways” attitude is called mental rigidity.

While it’s normal and healthy to have a routine, mental rigidity goes a step further. It limits how you see the world, makes you less adaptable, and causes you to be closed off to new ideas or perspectives. As one article puts it, “Mental rigidity cuts off the wings you need for imagination, improvement, and exploring new places.”

Mental rigidity can also make it difficult to have empathy–to walk a mile in another’s shoes. We become accustomed to one reality, one way of life, and that becomes the ONLY way. However, different people hail from different backgrounds and have different experiences and beliefs. We can’t necessarily KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling, but we can attempt to UNDERSTAND.

When you introduce yourself to different perspectives, beliefs, and vantage points, you do something a little scary: You open yourself to the possibility that your deeply entrenched attitudes and ways to thinking might change.

Change is never easy, especially when others expect you to remain the same. When you begin to shift your perspective or beliefs, you might face criticism from those who think you’re a “hypocrite” or “wishy-washy.”

I challenge you to stick to your guns and make an honest effort to change, if you believe that change is necessary. Recognize that you are doing yourself a service in the long run, and others’ snide remarks can’t stop you from continuing to learn and grow.

On the same token, be gracious to those who change their minds. No one has all the answers, and it’s okay to learn and evolve. In fact, it is healthy.

So, be fearless. Challenge your assumptions and be bold enough to get uncomfortable. It is only when we dare to step outside our comfort zones that we can truly expand our horizons and potentially change our points of view.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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