Tag Archives: Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach
January 17, 2024 Learning to Be Kinder to Yourself

If you’re reading this today, know that you are more than you realize. You are smarter, you shine brighter, and you touch more people’s lives than you know.
Far too often, we do not recognize our own self worth. Many of us are our own worst critics. Even if we accomplish something great, we tend to pick apart our performance, looking at the blemishes instead of the bright spots. But what does this achieve? Sure, it’s helpful to learn from mistakes, but it is absolutely NOT helpful to put ourselves down, be overly critical, or tell ourselves we’re not good enough or capable enough.
An article by Psychology Today discusses our tendency to be tough on ourselves, saying, “Often we self-criticize on autopilot and need to wake up and realize the damage we are doing.” Absolutely.
Start paying attention to that little voice that tends to run through your head. Is it usually negative or self-deprecating? Do you often tell yourself that you can’t do something, or that you’re not accomplished enough to do something? Do you have difficulties accepting compliments or recognizing a job well done? I call this little negative voice your “gremlins,” those self-saboteurs that make you doubt yourself and your abilities.
How do you banish these gremlins? How can you become kinder and more forgiving to yourself?
This involves a fundamental change in perspective, and THAT does not happen overnight. If you’ve been putting yourself down for a long time, it’s going to take a while to lift yourself up. And you’ll probably have good days and bad days along the way–days when you feel confident and brilliant, and other days when your impostor syndrome is strong and you doubt yourself at every turn.
But this shift in perspective is not impossible. Try starting with any of these suggestions:
- Remind yourself that no one is perfect (and holding that impossible standard is not healthy or realistic).
- Recognize your achievements (think about something you’ve accomplished recently and give yourself a pat on the back)
- Accept compliments (simply say, “Thank you” instead of shrugging off the compliment)
- Treat yourself how you strive to treat others (Would you constantly criticize a friend? Would you repeatedly put down your co-workers? Probably not! So, don’t do this to yourself.)
- Learn to let go (Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t help to fixate on them. To move on, try journaling about the situation, go on a long walk, talk about it with a trusted listener, throw yourself into a healthy distraction, such as painting, exercise, cooking, or whatever engages and energizes you.)
- Stop comparing yourself with others. (People often put their best face forward, especially when it comes to social media. Stop comparing yourself to impossible standards and place your focus on self-growth and affirmation.)
Most of us would benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. This isn’t an act of hubris, but an act of genuine care and compassion. Yes, we need to learn from our mistakes, but we do not need to beat ourselves up in the process. Be more forgiving and patient with yourself, and make a conscious effort to banish those gremlins. Your life will be better for it.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: banish negativity, banish self gremlins, be kinder to yourself, learn to forgive yourself, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, uplift yourself
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
July 26, 2023 4 Unique Challenges for Female Leaders (and how to overcome them)

Since the start of my career, women have made incredible strides in the workplace. They are CEOs, leaders, entrepreneurs, innovators. They have fought for greater recognition, higher pay, and better opportunities. But despite our achievements, we still have a long way to go to truly achieve gender equality in the working world.
Let’s talk about 4 workplace challenges that are unique to women and how to overcome them. This article is meant to both empower female workers and increase awareness for male employees so they can become better advocates and allies.
Being Heard
It’s great to have a place at the table, but it doesn’t do much good if your thoughts and ideas are never heard. Women often complain of being interrupted or talked over during meetings. In some cases, their ideas may be initially dismissed but later stolen by a male colleague. Stacey Vanek Smith, author of Machiavelli for Women, says, “Getting interrupted is a small thing, but it’s also a powerful symbol of status in a workplace. On a more practical note, being heard is key to everything. If nobody hears your ideas, how are you going to get those ideas off the ground?”
What to do?
I have found that one of the best ways to bounce back from an interruption is to react right away. If a colleague cuts you off, speak up and say something to the effect of, “Hold that thought, Mike. I’m eager to hear your ideas, but I wasn’t quite finished. As I was saying…”
This approach keeps the interaction positive while turning the attention back on you.
If the interruptions are consistent and it’s difficult to handle them on your own, consider enlisting the support of an ally. This person can interject on your behalf with something like, “Just a sec, Mike. I liked what Gloria was saying and I don’t think she was quite finished. Did you have something to add, Gloria?” Strength in numbers really does work.
Getting Passed Over for Promotion
Though the number of women in leadership roles has increased over the past few decades, they are still underrepresented. According to a 2022 McKinsey survey, for every 100 men promoted to a first-level management position, only 87 women are promoted. And the discrepancy is even worse as we climb the ranks. As of this year, only 10 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs are women…and that’s a new record high. Far too often, women are passed over for promotion because of unconscious bias or because they are not assertive enough in promoting themselves.
What to do?
If you feel you are being passed over for a promotion, take a hard look at your performance and track record. If you truly are excelling in your role, seek out feedback from your manager and ask what you need to do to make yourself a strong candidate for promotion. Be assertive in selling your accomplishments and the value you bring to the company.
It’s also important to have mentors and sponsors who can advocate on your behalf and provide guidance on career development. Seek out women in leadership positions and build these relationships.
Balancing Work and Family
Women often face the challenge of balancing work and family responsibilities. This can be especially difficult when there are no policies in place to support work-life balance. Women are often the primary caregivers for children and elderly relatives, and this can make it difficult to balance a demanding career with family responsibilities.
What to do?
One of the most important things you can do is communicate with your employer about your needs. Ask about flexible work arrangements such as part-time work, job sharing, or telecommuting. If these options are not available, consider negotiating a flexible schedule that allows you to adjust your hours or work from home when necessary.
It’s also helpful to build a support system outside of work that can help you manage family responsibilities. This can include family members, friends, or professional resources such as daycare providers.
Receiving Lower Pay
The gender pay gap has closed somewhat in recent years, but it still exists. The Department of Labor reports that women are paid 83.7 percent of what men are paid, and that figure is even worse for women of color. Even when a woman has the exact same job title and responsibilities as a male counterpart, she is often paid less. This can be frustrating and demotivating, but there are steps you can take to address this issue.
What to do?
If you suspect you are being paid less than your male counterparts, do some research to find out what others in your industry with similar experience and qualifications are being paid. Use this information to negotiate for a higher salary.
It’s also important to speak up about pay disparities and advocate for yourself and your colleagues. Don’t be afraid to have candid conversations with your employer or HR representative about this issue. Organizations that are committed to diversity, equity, and inclusion should be willing to address pay disparities and take steps to close the gender pay gap.
It’s important for women to be proactive in addressing the challenges they face. This includes being assertive in meetings, seeking out feedback and mentorship, communicating with employers about work-life balance, and advocating for fair pay. By taking these steps, women can work towards achieving greater equity and success in the workplace. Remember, progress takes time and effort, but it’s worth it—both for your wellbeing and to pave the way for future generations.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: challenges for female leaders, margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, obstacles for female leaders, overcome challenges women leaders, overcome hurdles women leaders
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Leadership, Thrive at Work


