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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach

August 14, 2024 Remember to Laugh (using humor as a tool)

The world can be a serious place. Whether you’re dealing with personal or familial problems, or thinking about the world at large, troubles seem to abound. Everywhere we turn, we’re bombarded with bad news about politics, crime, the environment, and on and on. And all these hardships and worries can seriously test our resilience.

What to do? Of course, there are proactive measure you can take to better your personal circumstances or to make a positive contribution to your community, nation, or world. You could volunteer, donate, take classes (or share your own skills), etc., etc.

While those proactive steps are wonderful, you may not feel like being so active and involved every single day. Some days, you simply need to take care of yourself—your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. Aside from the basics (eating healthy meals, exercising, getting enough sleep), one way to boost your resilience is to have a good laugh.

While it may sound simplistic, laughter really can be the best medicine. It can make us feel lighter and happier. It can give us mental clarity, or help us forge connections with those around us. Even during our toughest, darkest periods, laughter can ease our pain or enable us to cope with grief, anxiety, or heartache.

In addition to mental and emotional benefits, laughter can also provide physical benefits. In a Psychology Today article, researcher and author Robyne Hanley-Dafoe says, “Laughter is the body’s natural painkiller, allowing the body to release endorphins.” She goes on to say, “In the shorter term, it activates and releases your stress response and soothes away built-up tension. In the long term, research suggests laughter improves our immune system, relieves pain in the moment, and increases our pain threshold.”

How can you seek more opportunities to include laughter in your life? I suggest any of the following:

Stop Taking Life So Seriously

Everyone makes mistakes, has occasional bad luck, or goes through difficult times. But try not to be so hard on yourself. Laugh at your own foibles and find the humor in life’s absurdities. If you can, try to find the funny side of situations and let the little annoyances slide.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Some people seem dead-set on being miserable, and they (unfortunately) can be very good at making others miserable as well. Do your best to distance yourself from this type of person. Instead, surround yourself with people who will make you laugh, provide a healthy dose of positivity, and who can see the lighter side of life.

Seek Humorous Entertainment

Whether it’s a comedy show, a funny movie, or a witty podcast, try seeking entertainment that will make you laugh. Laughter is contagious, so surrounding yourself with humorous content can boost your mood and outlook. Additionally, reading or watching something lighthearted can provide a much-needed mental break from the stresses of daily life.

Have Perspective

If you bombed your PowerPoint presentation or accidentally left your car window open in the rain, that can be annoying or embarrassing, but is it really the end of the world? Instead of dwelling too much on small mishaps, try to step back and gain some perspective. Will this matter in a week? A month? A year? Putting things into that larger context can help you avoid getting bogged down by minor issues. Instead, you can learn from your mistakes, move forward, and find the humor in the situation.

In the face of life’s challenges, don’t forget to make time for laughter. Laughter is a powerful tool that can boost your resilience and help you weather life’s storms. By making a proactive effort to laugh more and not take life so seriously, you can cultivate a mindset that helps you better navigate life’s challenges.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 31, 2024 The Power of Forgiveness

As we move through life, we will inevitably deal with less-than-ideal interactions and experiences. Unfortunately, these disagreeable moments have a tendency to stick with us. Studies have revealed that people have a negativity bias, which (it is theorized) is caused by our brain’s tendency to notice things that are dangerous or potentially harmful in order to protect us. So, we often absorb the bad while glossing over the good.

While our negativity bias may be intended to help us, it can also hurt us if we dwell on the negative too long. Being constantly angry, frustrated, or annoyed is damaging on many levels. It can affect our mental and physical wellbeing (elevating heartrates and increasing muscle tension). It can impact our relationships with others. Or, it can impede our ability to be productive and energized.

In my experience, one of the most effective ways of shedding this negativity—and those feelings of anger, frustration, and annoyance—is to practice forgiveness.

You probably encounter dozens of annoying situations every day. Perhaps a co-worker didn’t make a deadline or forgot to schedule an appointment with an important client. Maybe your family has made a mess in the house. Or, maybe the barista behind the counter messed up your order. Whatever the case, we can deal with these situations in two ways:

1) Get angry and hold a grudge

2) Acknowledge the annoyance, move on, and forgive

It’s okay to be temporarily frustrated or upset. It’s fine for your negativity bias to kick in. However, these reactions become problematic when we cling to them too long—when we dwell on them and let them take over our day.

A bit part of moving past a problem involves forgiveness, especially when it comes to little, everyday annoyances. If you do not forgive, you end up wasting a lot of time and energy being mad and stewing over the situation. This isn’t to say you should let bad behavior slide; instead, it’s a good idea to address the problem, forgive, and move on. Take the example of your co-worker missing a deadline.

If a co-worker fails to complete a project on time, that can be incredibly frustrating (especially if it’s an important project OR if this is a common behavior). Instead of seething in your office or complaining to other co-workers, I encourage you to face the problem head on. Talk to the person directly, explain the impact of their actions (on you and the company), and strategize ways to meet future deadlines. If you are a leader and this person is one of your team members, you may also discuss disciplinary actions that will be taken if the problem persists.

Once you’ve worked out a solution, make a conscious effort to forgive that person and move on.

The same actions can be applied in other situations. If the Starbucks barista messes up your order, you can politely approach the window, explain the error, and say that you have no problem waiting for a new coffee. This all boils down to three steps:

1. Come up with a solution

2. Forgive

3. Move on

While your negativity bias is trying to help you, long-term negativity will only harm you. Shed your resentments, do your best to forgive, and keep moving forward. You’ll be happier in the long run, and you’ll feel lighter without the weight of all those grudges.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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May 22, 2024 4 Steps To Find Your Perfect Mentor

With any job, we all rely on guidance from our supervisors and peers to learn the ropes and develop new strategies for accomplishing tasks. If you’re starting at a new company, taking on a new role, or endeavoring to learn new skills, a mentor can be an incredibly valuable asset.

A mentor (or coach, or guide) can stretch your abilities, introduce you to new people, or connect you with relevant resources. Their experience and expertise are resources as valuable as any skill in your personal toolbox. But finding the right person for the role can be challenging. As you begin your search, you may find a few of these strategies useful:

1. Identify your process and values

As we grow, we try out and exchange work habits and strategies to make ourselves more effective. Finding a mentor who speaks to you starts with understanding yourself and how you work. What are the values that drive you? How do they translate to the type of work you do and which projects or responsibilities you’d like to take on?  What are the pain points and blind spots of your working style that others may need to accommodate for or address? These questions are important to ask and reflect upon when seeking a mentor. Knowing their answers to some degree will help when approaching others for help.

2. Look across disciplines

Everybody brings a unique mix of experience and ability to the table in an organization. A person’s job description doesn’t always tell you everything about the perspective they bring or their ability to teach. If you are worried or intimidated by reaching out to folks in your own department, making connections outside your usual circle and observing how people attack problems may shed a learning light you never considered before.

3. Establish rapport

Mentors are not always our closest friends, but a good mentor will be someone who respects your goals and spends time to observe and understand your learning process. Get to know folks who’ve joined the team before you and communicate your respect for their role and the work they’ve done. If you’re not familiar with these details, friendly chats over lunch or coffee can provide a way to accrue insight casually and over an extended period of time.

4. Develop yourself and network

Professional associations often offer conferences and seminars to learn the ropes of new skills or discuss innovations within a given industry. If you feel like your office lacks the means to provide the guidance you seek, attend trainings and make connections – either with fellow learners or the speakers. Handing out business cards and picking someone’s brain for 15 minutes may be all it takes to find a new teacher.

Finding a mentor isn’t always easy, but the returns for your efforts can be transformative. Keep an open mind, and be honest with yourself if you aren’t getting what you need on the first attempt. If you keep at it, often the right guidance is never too far away . Stay positive and start your search. There’s no time like the present!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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