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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith LP of Insights

March 19, 2025 5 Strategies for Being Heard

Photo by Oleg Laptev on Unsplash

Do you sometimes feel like your voice isn’t being heard? Do others tend to dominate the conversation, putting forth their ideas and perspectives without giving you a turn to speak? Whether you’re dealing with interactions in your personal life or the workplace, it is incredibly frustrating to be silenced.

This silencing can happen for a variety of reasons. Maybe you’re naturally quiet or laid back. Perhaps the people dominating the conversation are especially loud or domineering (or, in some cases, even narcissistic). Or maybe the workplace culture or social norms dictate who normally speaks and is listened to. Whatever the case, it is possible to break through the barrier and be heard.

Keep in mind, your thoughts, opinions, points of view, and ideas are valuable. You bring fresh perspectives to the table, and your views are worthwhile. Not to mention, assertive people are the ones who normally get raises and promotions; they’re noticed, and people listen to them. You can be that person. Here are five suggestions to get started:

Enter with Confidence

You set the tone for a conversation as soon as you enter a room or log into a Zoom meeting. Your body language can exude confidence and savviness…or it can show timidness and insecurity. To develop the confidence you need, I suggest preparing as best you can for the meeting or conversation. Do your due diligence and learn whatever background information you need to be a confident contributor. You could even practice reciting a few sentences in the mirror (practicing out loud really does help).

Then, focus on your body language. Keep your shoulders up, head high, and a pleasantly confident expression on your face. Pay attention to what is being said, and understand when your input might be valuable.

Stop Interrupters

If someone interrupts you in the middle of a sentence, put a stop to it, if possible. Sometimes interruptions happen in the natural flow of conversation, but other times they are chronic and consistent and need to be stopped. To stop an interrupter, try holding up your hand and saying something to direct attention back to you. Some examples are:

“Wait. I know you want to jump in, but I wasn’t quite finished.”

“Great point. I’ll address that when I’m done speaking.”

“Hold on, please. I’m almost done making my point.”

Anticipate the Interruption

If interruptions are the norm in certain groups or settings, you can set yourself up for success by preemptively addressing that problem. When you start speaking, try opening with a sentence like, “I would like two uninterrupted minutes to make an additional point.” Or: “I know many of you are eager to share, but I would love to say one thing before anyone else gives their input.” Then, proceed.

By opening with such a statement you’re setting up a clear expectation. You will say your piece, and then others will have a turn.

Find an Advocate/Partner

If your efforts to be heard are not bearing fruit, it may be a good idea to confide in someone else who is regularly in the same meetings or conversations. Confide in this person privately and let them know your frustrations. It’s possible they have no clue that you’re feeling silenced or left out. Once they’re aware of the issue, ask if they would be willing to subtly include you in meetings. This could mean saying something like, “We haven’t heard from Catherine yet. I’m curious if she has any ideas.” Or: “Catherine, you seem to want to say something. What’s on your mind?” Or: “Hold up, Roger. I think Catherine was in the middle of saying something. Let’s hear her out before you take your turn.”

Talk to Your Interrupter

In some cases, depending on your relationship with the person or people who chronically interrupt you, it may be best to be direct. If you feel comfortable enough with someone to have an honest conversation, do so and let them know how you feel. You might say something like the following:

“I always appreciate your enthusiasm in meetings, but lately it feels like there’s no room for my voice. Do you suppose I could have the floor for a few minutes next time?”

“I didn’t get much of a chance to offer my perspective at yesterday’s meeting. At our next one, I would love just two or three minutes of uninterrupted floor time.”

“I had several thoughts during our last meeting, but I didn’t have a chance to express them. Could I kick off our next meeting with a few uninterrupted minutes of speaking time?

I suggest having this conversation in person, rather than over email or a messaging app, so you can talk civilly and not blow things out of proportion.

Don’t let those who are the loudest and most confident (or aggressive) always get air time. You, and your quieter colleagues and friends, have valuable things to say and contribute, and your voices deserve to be heard. With a few intentional strategies and actions, you should be able to amplify your voice and confidently deliver your message.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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September 18, 2024 Developing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

If you have been following my blog or my business for any length of time, you know that I am a long-time advocate of heart-led leadership. That means being authentic AND having an authentic interest in each of your people. It also means making smart decisions by balancing your head and your heart. Being “heart-led” doesn’t mean you’re weak; it simply means you are empathetic, kind, and willing to listen to your people. This can be viewed as an offshoot of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. It involves being self-aware, regulating your own emotions, and empathizing with others. Developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can lead to improved communication, better conflict resolution, and stronger relationships with colleagues. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you can become a more effective leader, foster a positive work environment, and contribute to the overall success of your organization.

Some might believe that emotional intelligence is innate—you’re either born with it or you’re not. While it might be true that some people are more naturally empathetic than others, that doesn’t mean everyone else cannot learn to be emotionally intelligent and develop the qualities associated with a high EQ.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. If you’re hoping to build this essential skill, I suggest starting with the following:

Build Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence starts with developing a deeper understanding of yourself. What are your tendencies, habits, and perspectives? How do you tend to react stressful situations? What is your communication style, and how do you relate to others?

To help answer these (and other) crucial questions, I suggest taking an assessment test that is rooted in science. As a Licensed Practitioner of Insights Discovery®, I naturally advocate for this system, but many other similar programs exist (Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagrams, etc.). Briefly, Insights Discovery® is a self-awareness tool that helps you understand your natural preferences, strengths, and potential blind spots, visualizing this data with four distinct colors (learn more on my website). By gaining this self-knowledge, you can better manage your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build stronger relationships with your colleagues.

Additionally, consider keeping a journal to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the workday. This can provide valuable insights into your emotional patterns and help you identify areas for growth.

Practice Active Listening

An important step in developing your EQ is practicing active listening. When you actively listen, you not only hear the words being said, but you also aim to understand the speaker’s perspective and emotions. This involves maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. This demonstrates empathy and builds trust with your colleagues, which can lead to more productive conversations and stronger relationships.

Check In with Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence also requires the ability to check in with and manage your own emotions. When you experience strong feelings, whether positive or negative, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to help you regulate your emotions and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Aim For Understanding

Finally, strive to approach interactions with an attitude of understanding rather than judgment. When you encounter a colleague who is behaving in a way that frustrates or upsets you, try to consider their perspective and what might be driving their actions. This empathetic mindset can help you respond with compassion rather than criticism, fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust.

By developing these key emotional intelligence skills, you can become a more effective communicator, problem-solver, and leader within your organization. Those with a high EQ tend to have a better ability to navigate workplace relationships and interactions effectively. This, in turn, can lead to improved collaboration, problem-solving, and overall job satisfaction. Investing in the development of emotional intelligence can be a valuable asset for yourself, your people, and the entire organization.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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August 7, 2024 Why to Occasionally Let Go of Mental Toughness

Many people I know (especially female professionals) put a lot of pressure on themselves. They attempt to do “everything for everyone.” They convince themselves they need to be perfect. They stretch themselves too thin. All the while, these overworked individuals march forward, not allowing themselves a break, time to vent, or the grace to seek support.

We do NOT have to be this mentally tough at all times. In fact, it can be beneficial to take off our armor from time to time. Why?

Because always being mentally tough can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and a lack of self-care. It’s important to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ask for help, and take breaks when needed. Embracing our humanity and accepting our limitations can actually make us stronger in the long run. Additionally, allowing ourselves to be imperfect and to seek support when necessary is a sign of strength, not weakness.

But how can you tell when you need to slow down, step away, or seek help? Some signs include:

  • Regularly feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious
  • Having difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Neglecting self-care activities like exercise, healthy eating, or sleep
  • Increased irritability or moodiness
  • Withdrawing from friends, family, or beloved activities
  • Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or fatigue

Recognizing these signs and taking steps to address them, such as prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support, can help you prevent burnout and maintain a healthy, balanced life. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to acknowledge when you need to slow down and take care of yourself. It takes plenty of courage to speak up, make a change, or ask for help!

Taking action can ultimately help build your resilience and effectiveness in the long run. Keep in mind, you’re running a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s important to pace yourself. Remember, self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary for maintaining your physical and mental well-being.

In short, you don’t have to be mentally tough all the time. Embrace your humanity, be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to step back when you need to recharge. Your strength lies in your ability to recognize and address your needs.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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