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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

December 22, 2021 A Message of Unity

The holiday season is a time of year that can highlight friendships and kinship. It’s a time to give thanks, reflect on the year, and think about the road ahead. It’s a time to rekindle bonds and enjoy each other’s company. Even if the holidays aren’t perfect (arguments happen, stress doesn’t magically disappear), they can be a reminder of the potential good in the world—a reminder that we can sit at the same table with a variety of people and hold a civil conversation.

Too often, we look for differences. We divide ourselves into groups and see some people as “outsiders.” We declare that we could never be friends with someone who believes X or supports Y. This way of thinking is pervasive these days, with the country deeply divided on matters of politics, human rights, and beliefs. It almost seems unreconcilable.

But what if we decided to search for common bonds, instead of the aspects that divide us?

What if we sought connections, instead of looking for excuses to dismiss someone outright?

I have found that I can hold a conversation with just about anyone, if I simply look for common connections. Everyone has something (or multiple somethings) they care about—their family, their dog, gardening, playing golf, traveling, their career. Maybe you share some of those interests, too. Or maybe you’re interested in learning more about them. Even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything, I’m certain you can still find some common link (even if it’s as simple as enjoying pizza or reality TV!).

I’m not advocating for leaving your strongly held beliefs behind. Of course not. And sometimes differences are so vast that it can be difficult to interact with certain people. But what I am saying is that, in my experience, most human beings do not want to do each other harm. Most of us simply want to make a decent living, enjoy our time with family and friends, and live and let live.

So, this holiday season, let us do our best to build bridges instead of walls. Let’s reach out to others, make connections, and attempt to see the humanity in all. And once the holidays draw to a close, why not keep up this bridge-building mentality? Why not keep the spirit of unity alive throughout the rest of the year? The world would likely be a better place if we did.

Happy holidays.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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December 15, 2021 Finding Light During the Darkest Months

In the northern hemisphere, we are entering the darkest time of year. For many of us, we wake up in darkness and finish work in darkness. And that absence of sunshine can be difficult, even if you’re surrounded by the twinkle of holiday lights or the love of family members or friends. For some, this is an immensely difficult time of year—a time characterized by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and/or isolation. While some people enjoy “hibernating” in their home during the winter months, others find it difficult and yearn for human connections.

In truth, people can find themselves in “dark patches” at any point during the year. We might find ourselves depressed or frustrated with our personal life, finances, or career, or we might simply be grappling with burnout. But actual darkness can amplify those feelings and frustrations, and make us long for any sliver of sunshine (metaphorical or not!) that we can get.

How can we find light and levity amid all the darkness?

Aside from taking steps to aid your body (exercising regularly, taking Vitamin D), there are several ways to boost your spirit and your mood. Let’s talk about some of those mood-boosting methods:

1. Focus on Gratitude

This might sound a little…squishy, but gratitude does work. According to Harvard Health, “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

If you’re thankful for what you have, you develop a more positive mindset, and that can go a long way (it even can affect your physical health!). Foster gratitude by setting aside time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life. What is going well right now? What are you thankful for? You might also choose to jot down some of your thoughts in a gratitude journal.

2. Fight Pessimism

Many of us have negative narratives that constantly run through our brains. I call this your “saboteur.” This is the voice that tells you you’re not good enough or capable enough; it tells you to sit down and stay quiet because you don’t have anything valuable to contribute. It’s time to start talking back to this inner voice!

Start by paying attention to your thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, hit the pause button. Reframe your thinking so you focus on the positive and start seeing solutions, instead of barriers. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself. You’re smarter, braver, and more capable than you think you are.

3. Tune in To Positive Media

What we surround ourselves with makes a difference—the daily TV shows, movies, music, podcasts, and radio shows. Attitudes of fear, anger, mistrust, or sensationalism can easily leak into your subconscious. Even if you believe you are immune to negative news stories or terrible TV shows, you probably are not. We tend to become what we consume.

Make a conscious choice to read, listen to, and watch media that is affirming, productive, or uplifting. That doesn’t mean you have to tune out the news, but it does mean you should be mindful of your time and what you’re allowing into your life. Balance trashy TV shows with more thought-provoking content. Sprinkle in informative podcasts in between celebrity gossip. Think of the media you consume as nutrients that nourish your brain and emotional wellbeing.

4. Tap into Your Network

You don’t have to slog through your slumps on your own. Dare to reach out to trusted friends or family members and seek their support. Let them know what you need from them—someone to listen, someone to grab a cup of coffee with, someone to lend a little support—and be honest about what you’re going through. If friends and family members are not enough, consider seeking support from a licensed therapist.

5. Busy Yourself with a Hobby

Adopting a productive hobby can be a healthy way for dealing with dark periods. Do something that interests you and lifts your spirits. This could be baking, woodcarving, learning an instrument, practicing photography, painting, writing—anything that captivates and energizes you. If you’re not sure where to begin, try browsing through online course offerings through Udemy, Coursera, or Teachable.

(My online leadership course is hosted by Teachable. Feel free to check it out!)

6. Breathe

When you feel the weight of the world pressing down on you, take a time out. Pause whatever you’re doing and focus on yourself for a few minutes (or longer, if that’s what you need). Concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for several seconds, and puff it out through your mouth. Do this several times, counting to yourself as you go through the motions.

You might also try other relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation (apps such as Calm or Headspace can help you get started), listening to relaxing music, stretching, or going for a quiet walk. Recognize when you’ve hit a wall and need to practice a little self-care.

Though we’re entering a dark time of year, your mood doesn’t have to match the night sky. Try a few of these techniques and let me know what worked for you. And remember to seek additional help if you need it. You’ve got this!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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November 24, 2021 On Gratitude

We’re back, friends. We’ve all made one more trip around the sun together and we’re back in the holiday season. In many parts of the world, it is cold and dark (and getting colder and darker!), but there is still much to be thankful for. If you’re reading this, you can be thankful for literacy and for access to an electronic device. If you are indoors, you can be thankful for shelter. If you ate today, you can be grateful for access to food. Most of us can also be thankful for family members and/or friends—those who lift us up, check in, remember our birthdays.

The truth is, most of us have a lot more than we realize. We just don’t always remember what we have or remember to be grateful.

Today, I challenge you to pause and reflect. Think about what went well this year, instead of dwelling on any failures you might have experienced. Think of the people who made a positive impact in your life—even strangers who said a kind word or helped in some way. Think of your favorite moments from this past year—where were you and who were you with? If you’d like to jot some notes about favorite moments or positive experiences from the past year, grab a notebook and pen and start writing!

Don’t you feel better? Isn’t it nice to set aside self-criticism and negativity for a while and focus on all the good that surrounds us?

Reflecting on the positive aspects of life should not be reserved for once a year, and yet we tend to throw all our gratitude energy into Thanksgiving. Why not spread it out? Why not carry a feeling of gratitude with us all year round?

Some people do try to live a life of gratitude, and those people, in my experience, are some of the happiest and most compassionate people I know. Instead of letting others’ negative actions or comments weigh them down, they “let it slide” and move on. Instead of getting tripped up by bumps in the road, they get into problem-solving mode.

My wish is that we will all learn to be a bit more gentle and forgiving with ourselves and others. I wish we would spend more time focusing on the rainbow, instead of the rain. By adopting this attitude, even the most difficult paths become possible. Just put one foot in front of the other and start seeing all the good that surrounds you, each and every day.

Happy Thanksgiving.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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