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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

May 11, 2022 Have You Heard of a Failure Resume?

Everyone’s put together a resume at some point. It compiles your experience, accolades, and awards. It shines a light on your main accomplishments. A resume is made to make you look good. So, why on earth would you consider putting together a “failure resume”??

I first learned about failure resumes from acclaimed author, Daniel Pink. This concept, created and articulated by Stanford professor Tina Seelig, can help us deal with disappointments, contextualize failures, and move forward in a positive way.

What is a failure resume and how does it work?

A failure resume is an ongoing list of the things you got WRONG. It’s your mess-ups, flubs, and things that went south. A failure resume is meant for YOU and your personal development, and is not something you would necessarily share with others (unless you want to!).

You can treat your failure resume like a journal at first, compiling your list of screw-ups in one spot. But it is not just a list. It’s a tool.

How do you use it?

After creating your failure resume, it’s important to go through the list and think about each item. Ask yourself what happened in each instance. Why did the failure occur? What might have prevented it? And, mostly importantly, what lessons can you glean from the failure?

Sometimes, a failure can be caused by unfortunate circumstances or happenstance, but oftentimes something could have prevented the failure. Spend time reflecting on this. Do you notice any patterns? Do your failures usually occur because of one or two things you are doing consistently?

Perhaps you are constantly overstretching or overcommitting yourself, thus failing to do your best work.

Or maybe you are not properly preparing for certain situations (meetings, presentations, etc.) and need to focus more on that.

Or, perhaps, your main issues are caused by communication—failure to clearly communicate a message, follow-up, communicate with the right people, etc.

By taking time to think about the “why” behind the failure, you can start making positive changes. And, hopefully, your failure resume will seem less discouraging and more empowering.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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May 4, 2022 Instead of Happiness Culture, Let’s Emphasize “Usefulness” Culture

It’s great to be happy. It’s wonderful to feel joy and hope. But does our society overemphasize these feelings? Judging by the plethora of self-help books, escapism social media, and online “happiness hacks,” that seems to be the case. Some sources have even called happiness a “cultural obsession.”

That may not seem like a bad thing on the surface, but it can have some unintended consequences. For one, if we’re constantly focused on obtaining happiness, we may not be fully present. We’re so focused on our happiness dreams, that we forget to appreciate what we have. As behavior expert Patrick Wanis says, “We place our happiness somewhere off in the future and therefore we’re never able to enjoy where we are now because we’re always thinking we’re only going to be happy when we get to be, do, or have something.”

Additionally, the expectation to be happy all the time is frankly unrealistic. We might logically know that our friends and acquaintances are not happy at all hours of the day—their lives are not flawless and worry-free—but that doesn’t stop us from viewing them that way. We constantly see pictures on Instagram or Facebook of happy, smiling people drinking cocktails, taking vacations, posing with their families, cooking perfect dishes, and we wonder why we don’t stack up. Why isn’t my life that happy? What am I doing wrong?

This is how obtaining happiness can become more of an obsession than a healthy pursuit. But what if we were to shift our focus so that happiness isn’t the end goal, but rather a fortunate side effect? That’s where “usefulness” comes into play.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

When we make ourselves useful through daily work, volunteerism, helping others, donating our dollars or time, etc., we de-emphasize happiness. We shift the focus from ourselves to others. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important (it is! And I’ve talked about that in several blogs posts), but focusing on others and living a purpose-driven life is just as important.

And, guess what? You’ll likely feel happiness anyway!

Doing your best work, volunteering, or caring for a sick friend can all be satisfying in their own way. Even though your end goal isn’t happiness, it’s a fortunate side effect that often accompanies living within your purpose or doing good deeds.

As a nation, it may do us all a lot of good to stop obsessing over happiness and start emphasizing usefulness. What might life look like if we dared to follow this pursuit?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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April 20, 2022 Courage To Go Against the Grain

I just released my new eBook: A Quick Guide to Courage. Let’s continue our discussion of aspects of courage…

It’s easy to fall in line and do/say/think what everyone else is doing/saying/thinking. If you’re like most people, you don’t want to rock the boat; you simply want to get through the work day, complete your daily tasks, and stay employed! While there’s nothing wrong with those goals, “falling into line” could become problematic if you disagree with something or encounter a situation that goes against your values, ethics, or perspective.

In these tricky situations, staying silent is the path of least resistance, BUT it is not always the best route. Why dare to speak up and go against the grain?

  • To uphold your personal code of ethics
  • To encourage others who are feeling the same way to also speak out
  • To share your perspective
  • To spark a dialogue
  • To encourage candid communication and cooperation

Speaking up can be a good thing, but it can backfire if done incorrectly. If you are not tactful, or if you speak out of turn, you might be instantly shutdown and silenced. Instead, approach a situation with respect, calm, and thoughtful language.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you need to speak up during a meeting or group gathering, either wait for a lull in the conversation or interject respectfully.
  • Begin by clarifying what you think you heard. For instance: “I believe you said XYZ, is that correct?”
  • Give your perspective using “I statements” and logic. For instance: “Let me explain why I am troubled by XYZ. From my perspective…”
  • Offer alternatives. If you have a different course of action in mind, state it as clearly as you can.
  • Invite conversation. For instance: “Clearly, this is my take on the matter. If I am missing or misunderstanding something, I welcome any clarification.”

If you have time to step away from the situation and think about your counterarguments, that’s great! Prepare your talking points, anticipate questions, and present your case (either in a one-on-one meeting or to your group). The same basic guidelines apply—asking clarifying questions, being respectful, using logic, inviting dialogue—but you also have the luxury of gathering evidence (if applicable) and drawing up a more comprehensive counterargument.

It is often uncomfortable to go against the grain, but it is often worth it. If you present yourself and your case with tact and reason, people will likely listen to and consider what you have to say. Tap into your reserves of courage, prepare as best you can, and remember that YOU and your perspectives are worthwhile (see the affirmations in last week’s blog post). Positive workplace environments are often built by the courage of individuals.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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