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October 8, 2025 Why to Promote Positive Gossip

woman in teal t-shirt sitting beside woman in suit jacket
Photo by Amy Hirschi on Unsplash

Office gossip can be a problem. If people are constantly belittling or criticizing others behind their backs, that can lead to a toxic and unwelcoming environment. No one wants to feel as if they have to constantly be on guard around their co-workers, lest they become the next subject of the workplace rumor mill. As a leader, your first inclination might be to shut down office gossip entirely. But what if I told you that might not be the best approach?

It’s Tough to Battle Human Nature

Human beings are naturally social creatures, and it’s exceedingly difficult to fully shut down the gossip pipeline. Our tendency to talk about others is part of what makes us human. We like to be kept in the loop, hear the latest news, and be part of the circle that’s “in the know.”

This can be especially true for those who are more social and extroverted. Their dynamics with other people are part of their core identity, and it’s important to be part of the office “connective tissue.” Looking at this through an Insights® Discovery lens, these individuals may lead with yellow or red energy. These two personality types are defined by extroversion, overt communication, and relationships with others (often more collaborative for “yellow energy” folks and more hierarchal for “red energy” folks).

For many offices, with their wide array of personalities and tendencies, stopping gossip and chitchat is like trying to dam a roaring river with only a few sticks. Rather than fight human nature, it is a good idea to try a different approach.

Promoting Positive Gossip

Rather than prohibit gossip, full stop, it’s possible to approach gossip differently. If people are going to talk about each other no matter what, why not put a positive spin on it? Encourage the good kind of gossip—the kind that compliments and uplifts others, and praises their actions.

The easiest and most natural way to promote this type of gossip is to model it. When you encounter a team member in the hallway or are having a one-on-one conversation on Zoom, throw in a compliment or two about other teammates:

“It’s a good thing Marissa is so on top of deadlines. That’s really helping us reach our client goals this quarter.”

“Ari is so creative. Did you hear his ideas in the last brainstorming session?”

“Juana is working so hard lately, even though I know she’s juggling work with childcare.”

When you bring up these types of compliments, make sure they naturally fit the flow of the conversation and come across as sincere. Make them part of your everyday discussions, and soon they will become second nature.

The other part of this effort is flipping negative gossip into positive statements. If, for example, someone complains about Juana missing the last deadline, you might say, “That is frustrating. However, I’ve talked with her and I know she’s juggling childcare with work. Because of that, she is working harder than ever lately, which is pretty admirable.” It’s possible to turn an office that engages in negative gossip into one that emphasizes the positive. Take it one conversation at a time, making sure you’re modeling the type of behavior you want your team to embody. After all, the river of gossip may want to keep flowing, but you can direct it into more positive territory, rather than attempting to stop it completely.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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September 24, 2025 Building Can Be Better Than Creating

Photo by Imagine Buddy on Unsplash

As a leader, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement of change. We might attend a conference or discover a new program and want to implement what we’ve learned in the workplace. But large changes might seem more daunting than exciting to your team. Where you might see innovation and opportunity, they might see more work and tension. Or they may wonder what was so wrong with the old system. Rather than overhauling the system, there is a better approach to change. 

Building on Strengths 

Even in a flawed system, there are usually elements that work. Maybe a software program isn’t as efficient as it could be, but it’s easy to use. Or maybe your team is great at brainstorming new ideas, even if they never get implemented. Or perhaps individuals have many skills and strengths, but they do not tend to collaborate well with others. It’s a good idea to look for strengths before considering a complete system overhaul. Even if everything doesn’t work perfectly, you’ll likely find some elements that do work just fine. 

Once you’ve identified the positive skills, habits, strengths, or attributes of your team, you can begin building on them. If the team is excellent at coming up with creative ideas, lean into that. Convey that you appreciate their talents and get them excited about stretching those skills even further while developing additional skills, such as time management or attention to detail. Set aside time for your team to really shine while also asking them to try something new. 

When people are in their element, they are more likely to be open to constructive feedback and additional asks. Additionally, your team will probably be more willing to make changes when they play an active role in deciding how to approach the change.

Thinking about the creative team from the above example, you may challenge your people to come up with five potential solutions to improve meeting deadlines. Or you could ask them to brainstorm ideas for more effectively collaborating with the data analytics department.

Another part of building on knowledge and abilities involves language. Instead of focusing on and talking about deficiencies, start talking about positive traits that can be made even better. In the improv comedy world, the phrase “yes and…” is commonly used. Essentially, when someone is presented with a new, improvised situation, they can keep the scene going by accepting what is happening and building on it. This can create a back and forth that moves the action forward in new and often unexpected ways.

“I see you have a parrot.”

“Yes, and his name is Bill.”

“Yes, and I noticed he has a special diet of spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Yes, and he sometimes hosts pasta nights for his friends.”

This is a silly example, but the main idea is this: accept your team’s positive attributes and talk about how to build on them. 

Yes, the team is great at customer service, AND they can use that skill to reach new markets.

Yes, the team is comprised of excellent individual performers, AND they can brainstorm ways to work better as a team.

The point is to leverage the skills and knowledge your team already has to make productive changes. Start noticing your people’s skills, tendencies, and attributes. Think about goals and areas of improvement. Then, work with them to co-create solutions to take the team to the next level. This is about building on what already exists, not starting from scratch.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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February 5, 2025 6 Compassionate Leadership Actions

I am a big proponent of heart-led leadership. So many leadership courses, books, and webinars teach us that leaders have to be firm, competent, excellent communicators, and assertive. While those traits can be helpful in leadership, I would put a different trait above them: compassion.

When people think about compassion and kindness in leadership, they may think that means the leader is soft or a “pushover.” In my experience, however, kindness does not automatically mean weakness. It is very possible to be both kind and assertive. It is possible to genuinely care about your people and create firm boundaries and expectations.

Instead of a weakness, I see kindness as a superpower. When you take the time to truly get to know your people, listen to them, and offer genuine compassion and respect, you foster a positive work environment where people want to show up and do good work. When people feel that they are part of a caring team, they will want to put their best foot forward, meet deadlines, and perform at their peak. They’re motivated to do better, because they know the company’s leadership has a vested interest in them and their success.

To establish yourself as a kind, caring leader, you can begin by taking a few action steps that convey your heart-led leadership style. Here are 6 suggestions:

Schedule One-on-Ones

Even busy leaders can find fifteen or twenty minutes to meet one-on-one with a team member. Taking the time to check in with someone individually will not only convey that you care, but will also provide some valuable time for you to get to know the person across the table on a personal level. This can be difficult to achieve in group settings, especially if the person is not terribly open or outspoken.

Get to Know Your People

When engaging in one-on-ones, it’s a good idea to ask a few “get to know you” questions. Start learning about your team members’ backgrounds, families, pets, and interests, and be sure to touch on these things in subsequent meetings (“How is your mom? Is she feeling any better since her accident?”). If you need help remembering details about others, try creating a spreadsheet dedicated to tracking information about each team member—the name of their kids, the type of dog they have, etc. Few people have a perfect memory, and there’s no shame in using a tool to help yourself out.

Open Up

When you’re getting to know others, it is important to reciprocate. Any relationship, including work relationships, are healthiest when they are a two-way street. Offer information about yourself when it seems relevant and appropriate. For example, if your team member is talking about an upcoming vacation, you might tell them a little about your experience visiting that area, or you could talk about your own upcoming trip.

Ask Good Questions (and Listen!)

Asking good questions is an art. When sitting down with someone, it’s important to not just talk at them or ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that prompt a dialogue. These types of questions can help you get to know the other person and will help you gauge the temperature of the workplace (Are tempers hot? Has enthusiasm for a project or client cooled?).

But asking questions isn’t enough. It is also critical to listen to the answers and attempt to understand the other person’s perspective. If you’re unsure about what someone is saying, or you need more details, be sure to ask follow-up questions. Alternatively, you could repeat back what you think you heard by saying, “It sounds like you’re saying XYZ, is that correct?”

Show Genuine Appreciation

Pay attention to your people and show them appreciation whenever they go above and beyond. Call out outstanding performance, recognize achievements, or write out a thank you card. These small acts can make an enormous difference.

Take Action to Improve the Workplace

When sitting down with your people, you might discover that they are unhappy with certain aspects of the workplace. If that’s the case, it is imperative to take steps to create change. You don’t want to be the type of person who is all talk and no action. Rather, if you are genuinely committed to being a positive presence, that means taking meaningful action to improve the workplace and the lives of the people who work for you.

Kindness and compassion are not incompatible with strong leadership. Rather, it can help improve morality, foster a better work environment, and create an energized atmosphere in the office. How might the modern workplace transform if all leaders chose to be kind?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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