Tag Archives: margaret smith career coach
March 1, 2023 The “I Already Won” Mentality
A version of this post was first published on March 10, 2021.
How do you feel when you know something is a “sure thing?” When actions are so familiar and easy—driving a car, making a familiar recipe, doing a daily task at work—you do them almost automatically. You know you’ll achieve what you’ve set out to do. These everyday, routine tasks can be thought of as wins—tiny victories that are a sure bet.
But what if we dared to believe that other, bigger actions were also wins? What if we assumed we will give a flawless presentation, sign on a new client, or solve a problem?
There’s a certain amount of confidence and ease that accompanies this “I already won” mentality. If you’re certain, for instance, that you’re going to sign on a new client, your body language, tone, and the content of your speech changes. You convey that this action will happen. It’s inevitable.
Using the above example, you might start speaking to the potential new client using different language and terms. You might say, “When we start working together,” instead of “If we end up working together.” Or, you might say, “You’re going to love X, Y, and Z,” instead of, “If we work together, you’ll enjoy X, Y, and Z.”
Using stronger, more confident language is only one positive side effect of an “I already won” mentality. You’ll also find that your body language changes. You may become more relaxed and less anxious or tense. You won’t sound desperate to land the client or nervous that you said the wrong thing. When your body language relaxes, you’ll end up seeming more approachable and inviting—qualities people tend to appreciate.
When you’re confident that you will achieve a certain victory, you start moving beyond the stage where you worry and fret about the outcome and begin thinking about what you will do once you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do. This way of thinking is productive and forward-looking.
And what happens if you DO fail?
It’s bound to happen at some point, but my best advice is this: Don’t dwell on it. It likely wasn’t your confidence or approachability that was the problem; it was something else. Maybe a potential client simply couldn’t afford your offering. Maybe you didn’t get that promotion because you needed to have a certain certificate. Maybe the timing simply wasn’t right. Whatever the case, it’s best to pick yourself up, re-strategize, and keep moving forward.
With confidence.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: confidence and success, confidence-boosting techniques, I already won mentality, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith life coach, positive mentality, winning mentality
February 8, 2023 5 Ways to Avoid Meeting Drift
Picture yourself leading (another) Zoom meeting. You’re meeting with your usual team, and you have a rough agenda, but soon things get derailed. Someone mentions that their kids have been sick, and soon everyone’s sharing stories of family illness. This topics leads to a conversation about company policies and sick leave, which then leads to a chat about upcoming vacations. By the time you get back on track, you’ve lost your main point and everyone seems unfocused and unexcited to talk about work-related topics. You’ve lost any initial momentum your meeting had.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar, you’re not alone. “Meeting drift” is a common issue during meetings—virtual or otherwise—and can be extremely frustrating and counterproductive.
To help combat meeting drift, try following these five tips:
Stick to the Agenda.
Ensure that your agenda is concise and that everyone is familiar with it before the meeting starts. Before every meeting, take a few minutes to review the agenda with your team. Make sure everyone understands the topics up for discussion and the intended outcomes of the meeting. During the meeting, gently remind your team of the agenda and try to stay on-topic by summarizing each point before moving on
Start with a Brief Check-In
If your team is distracted by personal issues, their focus is more likely to drift during meetings. Kick off your meeting with a simple check-in question such as, “Julia, what did you do for fun this past weekend?” Or, “Will anyone be out of the office this week?” Make sure to limit the check-in time to 2-3 minutes, otherwise this can lead to an entirely new conversation.
Rotate Meeting Leads
Enlist help to keep the meeting on track by rotating the leadership role. This can help ensure everyone is engaged and can keep the conversation moving. When someone else is leading the meeting, you’ll be better able to recognize when the conversation is straying off-topic
Be Mindful of the Time
It’s easy to forget how long you’ve been talking when everyone is sharing their favorite vacation spot, and you find yourself reminiscing about your last beach trip. Set an alarm for yourself (or a timer for everyone) to keep your meeting on track and on time.
Encourage Participants to Take Notes
Writing notes by hand has a number of benefits, including better retention of the material being discussed and improved focus. Encourage your team to take notes every time you meet. As an added incentive, you might even gift each team member a quality notebook and pen at the beginning of the year (or quarter).
The key to avoiding meeting drift is to stay on top of it and be mindful of your team’s focus. By sticking to an agenda, providing brief check-ins, rotating meeting leads, staying conscious of the time, and encouraging participants to take notes, you’ll be able to ensure that meetings stay productive and meaningful.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: avoid meeting drift, margaret smith career coach, margaret smith leadership, prevent drift during workplace meetings, prevent drift during Zoom meetings, stay focused during Zoom meetings
- Leave a comment
- Posted under Communication, Leadership, Teamwork
February 1, 2023 Dealing with Frustrations in the Workplace (productively!)
We can become frustrated for any number of reasons—the car won’t start, a family member is stirring up drama, or the person at the front of the checkout line is arguing about the price of each item in their shopping cart. That’s life. And, unfortunately, the workplace is not immune from these everyday frustrations.
However, in most workplaces, we’re expected to mask or ignore our frustrations. This doesn’t make them go away, of course, it simply buries them. And if you continually bury your frustrations, those feelings might bubble up at inopportune times.
So, what to do?
First of all, it’s important to recognize when you’re feeling frustrated. If you feel your temperature rising or your body start to clench (the physiological effects of our fight-or-flight instinct), or if you feel on the verge of shouting, those are good signs you’re dealing with frustration. By recognizing your frustration in the moment, you can then deal with it.
Once you acknowledge your frustration, you can choose to face it in a few different ways. Try any or all of the following:
Take a Break
Step away from the situation, take a few deep breaths, and clear your head. Even taking one or two minutes can be helpful. If you’re in a meeting, you might take a break to use the restroom or drinking fountain. Or, you might simply tune out the meeting for a few seconds to collect your thoughts.
Take Deep Breaths
Studies have shown that deep breathing can help lower your heart rate and alleviate feelings of stress and anger. If you’re in a meeting or intense conversation, focus on your breath and let your body relax by taking a few deep breaths.
Talk to a Trusted Colleague
Talking to a colleague about the situation can help you understand the situation better, gain perspective, and even find a solution to your problem. Just remember to be open and honest with your colleague and refrain from gossiping.
Reframe Frustration
Sometimes frustrations can crop up if you are dealing with a difficult situation or something you’ve never encountered before. In those cases, try reframing your frustration as a challenge or an opportunity. This is your chance to rise to the occasion, learn a new skill, and come up with an innovative solution.
Practice Self-Compassion
No one is perfect — we all make mistakes. So, when frustration arises at work, try to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’ll be better equipped to handle similar situations in the future.
By learning to recognize, address, and manage frustration in the workplace you can avoid explosive outbursts and unhealthy situations. Remember to stay calm, recognize the problem, and practice self-compassion.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: coping with office frustrations, deal with work annoyances, dealing with workplace frustrations, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, productively face frustrations
- Leave a comment
- Posted under Communication, Thrive at Work
UXL Blog 