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Tag Archives: How to Get a Life

April 3, 2013 About That Thing You’ve Been Meaning To Do: Now Is The Time

We’ve all thought something like this before: “I’ll get that project going soon, but I can’t now because I’m behind on bills, I have to focus on work, and chores around the house are piling up…”

…And in this way we continue to neglect “that project.” The project itself is going to differ from person to person. For some it might be getting an exercise regiment in place, for others maybe it’s taking an adventurous trip to another country and culture, and for still others it could be taking a risk and changing careers. But I’m willing to bet that you–yes, you–have something in mind that you want to do, mean to do, and need to do.

The thing that keeps us from tackling our big project is a bit of faulty thinking. You see, we tend to think that our present circumstances, no matter what they are, aren’t perfect enough for us to get going on our project. Once we get a few things in order and get our mind geared up, then we’ll be able to pursue our big idea. But not now, oh no. There are far too many things in disarray now.

And that’s the faulty thinking. Our present situation always seems to be in disarray because, well, life is sort of a mixed bag of unpredictable factors all thrown at you at random. I’ve experienced this enough for myself to know that there is no such thing as “getting things all in order.” By that I mean that paying your bills won’t make more bills stop coming. Cleaning your house once won’t make it stay clean forever. You may be in a rough patch now, emotionally, physically or mentally, but that is part of the roller coaster ride of life.

So what am I saying? Essentially this: now is always the time to go for it, because “perfect” circumstances don’t exist.

If you’re honest with yourself, you will see that neglecting that big thing you envision on the grounds that “you’re not ready” is really just an excuse born out of fear of failure.

I challenge you to act on your “big thing,” whatever it is, today. Even if that means one small, concrete step in the direction of your goal, I’m confident that moving toward it will empower you. Tomorrow will bring more challenges, setbacks, and unpredictable snafu’s, yes, but that’s okay. You can navigate through them.

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October 3, 2012 Getting Ahead With Good Habits

We all know that good habits reap goodness in our lives and that bad ones do the opposite. As many of us have experienced, bad habits can have lasting, damaging effects. But like many things, forming good, healthy habits is easier said than done. It’s easy to resolve to change things for the better, but it’s much harder to stick with it over the course of time. The dilemma, it seems, is finding ways to sustain a lifestyle of healthy habits.

In “The Power of Focus,”  authors Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt (all three successful businessman and entrepreneurs) offer a formula for habits. Let’s take a look at the three points they lay out for us:

“1. Clearly Identify Your Bad Or Unproductive Habits”

Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt stress that the key to identifying bad habits is being honest about long term consequences, not necessarily things that would show up tomorrow. “The real impact could be years away,” they point out. It’s easy to ignore bad habits that don’t have immediate consequences, but that’s exactly where their power takes hold of our lives. We must instead look ahead and see how the choices we make now will impact the future.

“2. Define Your New Succesful Habit”

In the same way we looked to the future when identifying bad habits, we’ll also look forward when we implement good habits. Looking forward “helps you create a clear picture of what this new habit will do for you. The more vividly you describe the benefits, the more likely you are to take action.” Again, this is the way we stay strong with good habits: picturing the rewards and aiming for them. Take the time to sit down and map out your new set of good habits, thinking about the great things you will achieve when you adopt them. It’s good to start small, so don’t overwhelm yourself with tackling multiples habits at once. After all, the brain can only handle so much! Focus on one habit at a time, only moving on when you feel that you’ve successfully installed it into your routine.

“3. Create A Three-Part Action Plan”

You’ve honed in on areas in your life you want to improve, deciding to take different (usually opposite) courses of action to beat out bad habits. Now, you’re ready to get the ball rolling. Take the time to “make a decision about which specific actions you are going to implement.” Each person’s three-part plan will be slightly different, and it is up to you to determine what works best for you. Some people’s three-part plans might actually have five parts to them, since the number of steps isn’t really what’s important. The important thing is that you visual specific actions. How can you really realize your goal of implementing a new habit? What actions will boost chances of success? The action plan will propell you from visualizing changes you wish to see, to actually feeling empowered to make them. What’s more, having a written copy of your plan works great as a visual reminder or reference for those days you’d like to slip back into bad habits.

Vital to the success of your action plan: setting a start date.

Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt use the example of someone who takes too much work home on the weekends. They look honestly at the consequences of this habit (“Family time restricted, feeling guilty, important relationships become polarized”), visualize the benefits freeing up the weekend completely (“more relaxed, reduced stress levels, create unique family experiences”), and make an action plan to get there:

1. Design my work better by not overcommitting.

2. Delegate secondary tasks to staff to free up my time.

3. Have my family keep me accountable. No golf if I don’t follow through!

Start Date: February 3rd

As with any change we make in our lives, repetition is key. To make better habits, you’ll have to keep fighting the brainless tendency we have to continue the bad habits we’ve created. This may be annoying at first, but if you stick to the action plan and keep your focus toward the future, you’ll soon find that you’re actually doing the good habits without having to think about them. Think about how good that will feel!

Canfield, Jack, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt. The Power of Focus. Florida: Health Communications, 2011.

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June 6, 2012 Creative Ways to Say “No”

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

In life, there is one fact that is without a doubt true: your time is priceless. Because of this, it’s important to make sure that time is spent on the things most important to you and your long-term priorities. Are you using your time in a way that reflects your values and skills?

In order to help you make sure that you use your time meaningfully, I’ve compiled a list of creative ways to suavely decline the requests of others. Although it’s important to offer your time and support to those around you, whether at work or in your personal life, it’s also paramount that you say “no” for your own goals (and sanity!).

13 Ways to Artfully Decline

“I’m really not the best fit for __________.”
“This sounds like a great opportunity, but my schedule is packed.”
 “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“I really can’t do that right now, but have you considered __________?”
 “I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.”
 “I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.”
 “It’s against my personal policy to __________.”
 “Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.”
 “I can’t take this on for personal reasons.”
 “I have other commitments.”
 “I can’t take on another project at this time.”
 “I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.”
 “I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”

I hope that these easy responses help you to take more control of your time and your schedule. Remember, you shouldn’t consider saying “yes” unless you’re enthusiastic about the project and the way that it aligns to your values and priorities.

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