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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: How to Change Your Life

June 13, 2012 Are You Weighed Down by your Stuff?

By Margaret Smith,
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

I’d like to start this blog post with a question:

What stuff do you have weighing you down?

What do you mean by “stuff”, you ask?

I was confronted with the idea of stuff overload in an article published recently in Parade Magazine. This article, titled “Is Your Stuff Weighing You Down?”, tackled the issue of actual physical clutter—the lamps, mugs, ointments, clothes, supplies, and other objects that fill our closets and our attics.

The concept presented in the magazine slowly grew into a larger issue in my mind. It all started the other day with a search for a guitar amp. Now before you get confused, let me assure you that the guitar amp was not for me, it belongs to my son who had returned home in search of a few items.

Because my son is in his mid-twenties, he’s been out of the house for some time now. This adds a special challenge to locating his stuff. While he may have remembered what closet he left his amp in, the closet itself had been overrun with miscellaneous piles of my “work stuff”. He opened the closet door and optimistically expected to see his amp. Instead, he faced perilous stacks of my documents, envelopes, gadgets, and more.

He returned downstairs to find me in the kitchen. “Mom, what is all that stuff?” he asked.

My honest reaction was mutual confusion. “You’re right,” I said, “what is all that stuff?!” I then trudged upstairs to tackle my clutter. As I dealt with the tangible stuff, I started to think about the less tangible stuff that may not fill my closet, but sure fills my mind and weights me down.

So now I bring this tough but amazing question to you. What are the sources of guilt, obligation, and responsibility that you feel weighing you down? Are some of these items actually the “stuff” or responsibility of other people that you’ve taken on yourself?

You may find that you’re bogged down in stuff because you’re saying “yes” too often, and that these items distract you from your real goals. (Now would also be a good time to ask yourself, What are my real goals?)

Here’s a great way to measure the way you use your time:

1. List the 3 things that you value most (spending time with family, learning, etc..)

2. Make a list of the things you’ve devoted time to in the last week

3. Give each area you devote time to a percent out of 100 for the week (perhaps your work ends up constituting 70% of your time, volunteering 5%, etc)

If your use of time conflicts with the things you value most, consider rethinking your life balance.

If your issue is that you have trouble gracefully declining the requests of others, take a moment to visit my handy list of creative ways to say “no”. I promise you won’t regret it!

image: scanned from Parade Magazine

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June 6, 2012 Creative Ways to Say “No”

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

In life, there is one fact that is without a doubt true: your time is priceless. Because of this, it’s important to make sure that time is spent on the things most important to you and your long-term priorities. Are you using your time in a way that reflects your values and skills?

In order to help you make sure that you use your time meaningfully, I’ve compiled a list of creative ways to suavely decline the requests of others. Although it’s important to offer your time and support to those around you, whether at work or in your personal life, it’s also paramount that you say “no” for your own goals (and sanity!).

13 Ways to Artfully Decline

“I’m really not the best fit for __________.”
“This sounds like a great opportunity, but my schedule is packed.”
 “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“I really can’t do that right now, but have you considered __________?”
 “I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.”
 “I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.”
 “It’s against my personal policy to __________.”
 “Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.”
 “I can’t take this on for personal reasons.”
 “I have other commitments.”
 “I can’t take on another project at this time.”
 “I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.”
 “I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”

I hope that these easy responses help you to take more control of your time and your schedule. Remember, you shouldn’t consider saying “yes” unless you’re enthusiastic about the project and the way that it aligns to your values and priorities.

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May 30, 2012 How to Ask for What you Want

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

A common idiom I return to time and time again concerns the power of asking for what you want: You don’t get what you don’t ask for. As I’ve made my way through the complex challenges of the professional world, as both a senior leader at 3M and now as an entrepreneur, I’ve always come back to this little lesson.

It seems as though we spend an awful lot of time considering what we want—willing our reality to change on its own. But until we accept the fact that asking for it is the fastest (and sometimes the only) way to get what we want, we’ll be stuck in dreamland waiting for our wishes to be granted.

Often, we’re hesitant to ask for what we want. This hesitation can stem from a fear of being vulnerable or unworthy, or the belief that successful people never ask for help. All of these fears continue to work within us to maintain the status quo and prevent that dreaded, scary, risky change that’s necessary for a bigger and better life.

Don’t let your pride keep you from asking for what you want. And remember that at times it is absolutely necessary to ask for help—you don’t have to do everything on your own!

So how can you improve your ability to ask for what you want? By seeking out the areas where you desire change and beginning to ask for these things often, and with purpose. Now if only this were as simply and easy as it sounds! To help combat the hesitation to ask for what you want, I’ve gathered some important truths.

>> Most successful people have the help of others to thank for their own success. These people are typically happy to share advice and lend a hand.

>> Be honest with yourself about your current dreams and needs—know what you want.

>> Seek support from the experts and professionals around you who can best support your goals.

>> Always believe that what you’re asking for is very possible.

>> Be genuine about your wants and honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses.

>> Consider sending an email to introduce yourself to those who you think may be of service. Outline your needs and offer support.

>> Always be passionate about what you request.

>> Never let fear prevent you from acting.

>> Anticipate that not everyone will be able or willing to help, and always allow for a gracious opportunity for others to bow out.

>> Be persistent—try, try, and try again until you achieve success.

Don’t let your inner saboteur get in the way of your own success—believe that you are deserving of what you want, and have the courage to ask for it.

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