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Tag Archives: fear and your career

One of the easiest ways to make a room full of professionals uneasy is to bring up the term “Love Leadership.” In most people’s minds, love is not a term that should be associated with work. Appreciation, sure. Respect, definitely. But, LOVE?

In reality, Love Leadership is not as scary or intense as it sounds. It’s a term that was made popular by John Hope Bryant, CEO of Operation HOPE. In Bryant’s book, Love Leadership: The New Way to Lead in a Fear-Based World, he illustrates how leaders who genuinely care about others will rise head and shoulders above those who lead with fear.

Though fear-based leadership may work in the short-term (i.e. giving someone an ultimatum if they missed an important deadline), it is not a good long-term strategy. Those who consistently lead with fear will ultimately create a hostile work environment where staff will be afraid to express their views, be motivated by consequences, and shy away from open and honest communication. In short, fear-based leadership stifles and harms the workplace.

What does choosing love-based leadership look like?

Leaders who choose to lead with love take the time to get to know their team. They care about each and every person and routinely sit down and hold one-on-one conversations with them. They also care enough to get to know a little about their team member’s personal lives–their family, hobbies, pets, etc. This level of attention helps people feel comfortable enough with their leader to present any issues or challenges they might be facing, discuss new ideas, or candidly talk about progress or pitfalls.

Love-based leaders also let themselves be vulnerable. They are brave enough to acknowledge when they’ve made a mistake; they reach out when they need help. This vulnerability does not make leaders weak–it makes them human.

It should be noted, however, that there’s a difference between leading with love and being “a softie.” One of the chapters in my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, is dedicated to “balancing the head and the heart.” Though it is important to lead with love, it is just as important to make “head-based” decisions, like letting a team member go when they are repeatedly under-performing. Just because you lead with love, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t set up clear boundaries and let your team members know when they cross those boundaries (I go into much more detail in my book–talk to me if you’d like to get a hold of a signed copy).

How will you, as a leader, dedicate yourself to leading with love? Step back, take an honest look at your leadership, and recognize how you can infuse more honestly, open communication, genuine caring, and vulnerability into your daily actions and interactions.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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the benefits of fear

Halloween is right around the corner, so that got me thinking about fear and how we handle it in our daily lives. As a career coach, I often work with people who are afraid–afraid to quit their current job, afraid to ask their boss for a raise, afraid to open up and let themselves be vulnerable. While it’s a good idea to work past your fears and not let yourself become debilitated by them, the emotion itself is not a bad thing.

You feel fear for a reason. The reptilian part of our brain (primarily the amygdala) has a “fight or flight” instinct built into it that helps keep us safe. Even though we also have a logical area of our brain, governed by reason, the amygdala sometimes kicks in so strongly that we have an actual physical reaction to it.

Have you ever felt your palms sweat or your muscles stiffen when you’re asked to lead a company meeting or when you’re engaged in a particularly tense conversation? How about when your boss calls you into the office? The primitive part of your brain is likely screaming, “Run! Run far away!”

Sure, it’s a good idea to overcome that fear and step into your boss’ office, but it’s not a bad thing that you felt fear in the first place. In fact, fear can actually be a good thing. It can drive us to make big changes; it can warn us to move forward cautiously; it can motivate us to prepare for that company meeting. Instead of denying your fear, embrace it!  Recognize that it exists because you’re willing to challenge yourself and do great things.

Part of being a leader involves fear and healthy risk-taking. Good leaders make tough decisions, instead of running from them or pushing them aside for someone else to deal with. And with tough decisions, comes fear.

Fear isn’t the enemy. It’s how you deal with fear that counts. Will you choose to let yourself be consumed by fear? Will you let it stop you in your tracks? Or will you face it head-on and figure out how to move past it? It’s only by challenging ourselves to move beyond our comfort zones that we achieve personal and professional growth.

 

Need help conquering your fears? Please do not hesitate to contact me today.


MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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