Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: career coach Margaret Smith

March 23, 2016 The Worst 4-Letter Word

people-314481_640It’s the thing that holds you back. It stifles growth, discourages you from trying new things, and forces you to stay in a rut, even when you know things should change. It’s the worst 4-letter word of all: FEAR.

Fear is a debilitating force. It pulls you out of the present and into the unknown territory of the future. Don’t waste your time worrying about what might happen. Instead, focus on the present. Look internally and ask yourself some tough questions:

  • How is fear limiting my hopes and dreams? What would I like to accomplish, but am afraid to attempt?
  • Why am I afraid? What’s holding me back from speaking up, making a change, or attempting something new?
  • How can I minimize fear and shift my focus to determination and action?

Acknowledging your fear is the first step to taming it. Confront your obstacles and have confidence that you can and will overcome them.

How can you brush aside your fear and start taking action?

Start small. Do one thing that scares you today–whether that’s talking to a stranger in the grocery line, presenting an idea to a co-worker or boss, or enrolling in a class at your local gym, library, or community center.

Then, as your confidence grows, grow your ambitions. Make an action plan and start mapping out how you’ll follow-through with your goals. Remember to set deadlines for yourself and find an accountability partner (click here for more on effective goal-setting).

REMEMBER: You owe it to yourself to face your fears and work at overcoming them. If you don’t, you’ll never stretch yourself or try new things. You’ll forever wonder, “What if…” Don’t let fear lay claim on your life! Start confronting it today.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

Tags: , , , , , , ,

March 16, 2016 Admit When You Don’t Know (A Tip for Interviewing AND Life)

Admit when you don't know

You can’t possibly know it all. Even if you’re an expert in a certain area, there will inevitably be times when you don’t know the answer. That’s OKAY.

In our modern, information-at-our-fingertips world, we might feel pressured to know anything and everything. Think about all the content you consume on a daily basis, whether through television, social media, news articles, surfing the web, or face-to-face interactions. The amount of data we’re exposed to on a regular basis is overwhelming and can also lead to unrealistic expectations from others. “Didn’t you see that article,” someone might say. Or “didn’t you hear about x, y, and z?”

It takes courage to admit when you don’t know something, but it’s much better than faking your way through a conversation. The next time someone quizzes you about a news story you haven’t read or a social media trend you haven’t heard of, speak up. Let her know that you don’t know enough about the topic to form an opinion, but you would like to hear her thoughts on it. Then, listen. Learn.

In a different context, think about job interviews. If the interviewer asks you a straightforward question such as, “Do you know how to use Adobe Photoshop,” don’t fudge your answer. Be forthright with your response. For example: “No, I’ve never used Adobe Photoshop, but I have experience with other design programs, such as Inkscape. I’ve found that I am a quick learner and pick up on new systems quickly. I am also not afraid of technology and would be happy to take a class on Adobe Photoshop if I am hired.”

This response not only shows a willingness to learn, it also conveys honesty and transparency. These are traits that companies often look for in job candidates.

Furthermore, if you admit that you don’t know something (to yourself and others), this opens up an opportunity to learn and grow. Explore the unknown subject and add something new to your knowledge bank.

Remember, you CAN’T know it all. It’s fine to admit to others when you don’t have the answer. This isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of integrity and candor.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

Tags: , , , , , ,

March 9, 2016 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.--Bryant H. McGill

I recently listened to an excellent TED Talk by Celeste Headlee on the art of having a meaningful conversation. Headlee was a radio host and reporter for NPR for several years and used what she learned from interviewing to develop 10 basic conversation principles.

Today, we often talk past or talk over each other. Instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say, we are busy multi-tasking or thinking up a response. Because of this tendency to focus on ourselves instead of on the other half of the conversation, a lot is lost in translation. Headlee’s 10 principles remind us how to fully engage in meaningful conversation and actually learn something from one another. Briefly, her 10 principles are:

  1. Don’t multi-task (be fully present and engaged)
  2. Don’t pontificate (expressing your opinion without any room for discussion only shuts down a conversation instead of opening up a dialogue)
  3. Use open-ended questions
  4. Go with the flow (thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go and focus on what the other person is saying)
  5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know (it’s okay to admit when you don’t know something!)
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs (your experience is not the say. Don’t make this a promotional opportunity for you; instead, listen to what they are saying and respond to that)
  7. Try not to repeat yourself
  8. Stay out of the weeds (don’t bog down your story with irrelevant details)
  9. Listen (This is probably the most important principle!)
  10. Be brief (As Headlee’s sister says, “A good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.”)

Think about these principles as you engage others in conversation today. Be present, ask good questions, and practice active listening.

If you’d like to watch the whole TED Talk (It’s only 12 minutes long), please click on the image below. Happy conversing!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

Tags: , , , , , ,