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Tag Archives: Career Coach Advice

June 13, 2012 Are You Weighed Down by your Stuff?

By Margaret Smith,
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

I’d like to start this blog post with a question:

What stuff do you have weighing you down?

What do you mean by “stuff”, you ask?

I was confronted with the idea of stuff overload in an article published recently in Parade Magazine. This article, titled “Is Your Stuff Weighing You Down?”, tackled the issue of actual physical clutter—the lamps, mugs, ointments, clothes, supplies, and other objects that fill our closets and our attics.

The concept presented in the magazine slowly grew into a larger issue in my mind. It all started the other day with a search for a guitar amp. Now before you get confused, let me assure you that the guitar amp was not for me, it belongs to my son who had returned home in search of a few items.

Because my son is in his mid-twenties, he’s been out of the house for some time now. This adds a special challenge to locating his stuff. While he may have remembered what closet he left his amp in, the closet itself had been overrun with miscellaneous piles of my “work stuff”. He opened the closet door and optimistically expected to see his amp. Instead, he faced perilous stacks of my documents, envelopes, gadgets, and more.

He returned downstairs to find me in the kitchen. “Mom, what is all that stuff?” he asked.

My honest reaction was mutual confusion. “You’re right,” I said, “what is all that stuff?!” I then trudged upstairs to tackle my clutter. As I dealt with the tangible stuff, I started to think about the less tangible stuff that may not fill my closet, but sure fills my mind and weights me down.

So now I bring this tough but amazing question to you. What are the sources of guilt, obligation, and responsibility that you feel weighing you down? Are some of these items actually the “stuff” or responsibility of other people that you’ve taken on yourself?

You may find that you’re bogged down in stuff because you’re saying “yes” too often, and that these items distract you from your real goals. (Now would also be a good time to ask yourself, What are my real goals?)

Here’s a great way to measure the way you use your time:

1. List the 3 things that you value most (spending time with family, learning, etc..)

2. Make a list of the things you’ve devoted time to in the last week

3. Give each area you devote time to a percent out of 100 for the week (perhaps your work ends up constituting 70% of your time, volunteering 5%, etc)

If your use of time conflicts with the things you value most, consider rethinking your life balance.

If your issue is that you have trouble gracefully declining the requests of others, take a moment to visit my handy list of creative ways to say “no”. I promise you won’t regret it!

image: scanned from Parade Magazine

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June 6, 2012 Creative Ways to Say “No”

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

In life, there is one fact that is without a doubt true: your time is priceless. Because of this, it’s important to make sure that time is spent on the things most important to you and your long-term priorities. Are you using your time in a way that reflects your values and skills?

In order to help you make sure that you use your time meaningfully, I’ve compiled a list of creative ways to suavely decline the requests of others. Although it’s important to offer your time and support to those around you, whether at work or in your personal life, it’s also paramount that you say “no” for your own goals (and sanity!).

13 Ways to Artfully Decline

“I’m really not the best fit for __________.”
“This sounds like a great opportunity, but my schedule is packed.”
 “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“I really can’t do that right now, but have you considered __________?”
 “I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.”
 “I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.”
 “It’s against my personal policy to __________.”
 “Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.”
 “I can’t take this on for personal reasons.”
 “I have other commitments.”
 “I can’t take on another project at this time.”
 “I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.”
 “I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”

I hope that these easy responses help you to take more control of your time and your schedule. Remember, you shouldn’t consider saying “yes” unless you’re enthusiastic about the project and the way that it aligns to your values and priorities.

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April 26, 2012 How to Modify Your Behavior Effectively

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

The other day I read something about behavior modification that surprised me with its resonance:

Most of us tend to overestimate how much short-term change we’re capable of, but underestimate our long-term potential.

How true is that? Most of us have been guilty of making a huge resolution that we expected to complete in an unrealistically short period of time. And what happens when we don’t see results in the first few weeks? We get discouraged, of course! Conversely, if we look back on all that we’ve changed or done in a year, and we’re blown away at our courage, perseverance, and hard work.

Because I’m a life and career coach, a lot of what I do tackles the challenge of modifying behavior to change a life or professional career for the better. Since I’ve become a certified Insights Discovery Practitioner, guiding behavioral modification has moved even further to the forefront of all that I do. When you’ve experienced the Insights Model, and received your profile, you learn that you have energy preferences and strengths, and these natural callings or habits result in your preferred way of interacting with others.

The other important thing that you learn through Insights Discovery (or coaching) is that you have the ability to identify the communication style and work preferences of everyone around you. And this is an important half of the puzzle—without this, your self-knowledge would be useless—like a jar of jam with no bread, a bike without tires! You improve your self-awareness so that you can modify your behavior to improve your interactions with others and reach your full potential.

Instead of continuing on the same worn path, consider some of the pointers I’ve outlined for using your self-awareness and knowledge of communication styles to improve your career and your life.

Margaret’s Tips for Modifying Your Behavior to Elevate Interactions

> Identify an area for improvement and all of your behavioral habits involved. Take note of the other individuals involved in this interaction and their observed behavioral habits and preferences.

> Clarify what achieving “success” will mean for you in this scenario. What needs to improve, how much, and what will be the measurement of this? Acknowledge that success may not be immediate.

> Recognize that there are always beliefs lurking behind our impressions and interactions. Have the courage to challenge these beliefs by trying a new approach and/or a new interpretation.

> Practice changing your behavior until it happens without having to think about it. Otherwise, you’re likely to lose your better habits and improved interactions.

> When baffled, consult with someone you trust openly, and without argument or response. Sometimes the observations of someone else is not easy to accept, but an outside perspective will help you to graduate beyond the beliefs that are obstructing your path to positive change.

Interested in learning more about how knowledge of yourself and others can be elevated through Insights Discovery, or how Margaret Smith can help you to realize positive change for individuals, teams, organizations, or classrooms? Contact UXL Today.

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