June 16, 2021 The Case for Acting NOW
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.”
Chinese proverb
What have you been meaning to do that you’ve put off?
Think about that question for a minute. I’ll wait.
You might have multiple things you’re putting off.
You might even want to make a list…
Have you thought of a thing (or seven) you’ve been putting off? Why do you suppose you haven’t acted? What’s holding you back?
It’s human nature to put off what is uncomfortable or potentially difficult. Why have a tough conversation if you don’t have to? Why clean the attic if you can ignore it? Why start writing your memoir when you could be spending the evening relaxing on the couch?
We also tend to put things off that seem low-priority. Cleaning the desk in my office? I can put it off. Joining the gym? That can wait until next month.
Another reason we might put something off is if we think it will eventually take care of itself. If you meant to apologize to a friend for missing her party, you might put it off and put it off until…everyone has forgotten about it, right?
Another example: If you’re part of a team at work and you don’t feel like tackling a certain aspect of your project, you could put if off until someone else caves and does it for you.
As you’ve read through all these scenarios, you may have noticed something they have in common:
They are all problematic or potentially problematic.
If we put off a difficult conversation, the current situation might continue to get worse.
If we continue to delay working on a special project, that project will never be completed.
If we fail to clean the work desk, items will inevitably continue piling up until we can’t find anything, we feel completely scattered, and we lose valuable time and productivity searching for items we need.
If we don’t apologize for a past wrong, we risk creating a misunderstanding or losing a friend. Plus, it’s an opportunity to clear the air and acknowledge the mistake.
If we delay acting because we think someone else will eventually cover for us, that’s a recipe for creating grudges! Others will view you in a poor light and think you’re lazy or irresponsible when, really, you might have averted the crisis by expressing your discomfort with the task and requesting a new assignment.
Even though acting NOW might be uncomfortable or inconvenient sometimes, it is almost always worth it. If you’re putting something off, take a step back and ask yourself WHY. What barriers do you perceive? What’s holding you back? If you’re worried about the outcome of a particularly tricky task/conversation/action, that’s okay. It’s normal to delay action in the face of worry. But you’re stronger than that. It’s time to break through the barriers that are holding you back and ACT.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: act now despite discomfort, case for acting now, don't put things off, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith life coach, now is the time, take action now
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life
June 9, 2021 The Danger of Always Raising the Bar
If you’re like many people I know, you have high expectations for yourself. You are likely more critical of your own mistakes and flaws than those of anyone else. You probably also find yourself wishing you could do more and be more on any given day. You’re constantly raising your personal bar and looking for your next mountain to climb.
Sound familiar?
If so, you just might be an over-achiever and a perfectionist. And that’s fine! There are a lot of us out there. We’re constantly trying to be everything for everyone. But that’s just not possible. And even if we’ve learned how to NOT spread ourselves too thin, there’s still the danger of constantly raising our personal expectations.
How can raising the bar be a bad thing?
On the surface, it’s perfectly fine to regularly raise our personal standards. Companies do it, so why not individuals? As you learn new skills and develop your talents, you’ll naturally start to improve, and when that happens, it’s logical to raise the bar. That’s all well and good—raising your personal bar keeps you constantly learning and improving—but this can turn into a problem if your bar-raising gets out of control.
For one, you might increase your personal expectations so much that they become nearly impossible to obtain. That, or you might find yourself toiling for extra hours or taking on more and more work to achieve your new standards. There’s a difference between a healthy challenge and a crushing workload. If you’re constantly feeling frazzled, anxious, or overwhelmed, your personal bar might have risen beyond your grasp.
The other part about bar-raising that can be damaging is failing to recognize your achievements. If you don’t take the time to occasionally pause and reflect on how much you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, you will always be feeling like you’re falling short. And I’m sure that’s not true! Think about everything you’ve learned and achieved over the years—all the projects you’ve completed, bridges you’ve built, and skills you’ve mastered. Think about where you are today compared to where you were five years ago. I’m sure you’ve grown and changed over that time, even if you can’t see the growth on the day-to-day.
Instead of constantly raising your personal bar, take the time to 1) reflect on and CELEBRATE your achievements and 2) set reasonable goals for the future. Take the future one step at a time, rejoice in your victories, and don’t let that bar get too far out of reach.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: danger of raising the bar, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights, overachieving and burnout, personal expectations too high, raising the bar too high
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Goals
June 2, 2021 Using Your WORRY as a Motivator!
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life. Most of which never happened.”
Mark Twain
“Worrying only means you suffer twice”
Newt Scamander in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Worrying is part of the human existence. We worry about our children, our relationships, our work performance. We worry about finances and health. We worry about the future. This tendency to worry is part of what makes us human. It’s natural to fret about the wellbeing of ourselves and those around us. However, if we worry too much, it can become debilitating.
What percentage of your day is spent fussing about the future or dwelling on past events? If you’re like most people, it’s probably quite a lot. And, here’s the thing: worrying about something doesn’t help the outcome in the least. We can’t improve a work project by fretting about it. We can’t fix something harmful that we did or said through worry.
If worrying doesn’t solve anything, why is it a human emotion in the first place?
The possible answer is that worrying can prompt us to act. It isn’t useful on its own, BUT it can act as a catalyst—a bit of fire under our shoes.
Worried about your upcoming presentation?
Let that be motivation to thoroughly prepare and practice.
Worried about your current physical health?
Let your worry drive you to go to the gym and eat a healthier diet.
Worried about finances?
Use that emotion to create a better savings plan and spend a smaller portion of your income.
Worried you offended someone?
Leverage that worry by 1) apologizing and 2) learning from your mistake and vowing to not say or do the same thing again.
The above examples have one important thing in common: they all involve action. If you’re going to fret anyway, let your emotions be a motivator. Don’t stew in your misery; act instead!
We could all use a little less worry in our lives. It doesn’t do to sit and dwell on either the past or the future. BUT, if you do find worry surfacing in your life, know that you don’t have to let it consume you. Instead, use it as a catalyst to take action, forge ahead, and make positive, meaningful change.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: leverage your worry, margaret smith career coach, margaret smith leadership, using worry as driver, worry and work, worry as a motivator
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
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