Skip to content

UXL Blog

Creating Successful Leaders

In this blog, I have often talked about “love leadership” and being a compassionate, caring leader. That is vitally important for fostering open communication, developing an atmosphere of trust, and keeping your team energized and engaged.

Leading with love, however, does NOT mean being a pushover. It is crucial to not only show empathy and genuine concern for your staff, but to also create a culture of accountability. How can you balance the two? Try these five steps:

1. Communicate with Clarity

Aim for clarity, every step of the way. Set clear goals and expectations, and be transparent about the consequences if those expectations are not met. If a deadline is not met, for instance, it should come as no surprise that the person or team who missed the deadline will need to work overtime to make up for their tardiness. Or, if someone is consistently turning in sub-par work, that person should know what is coming (a probationary period, perhaps, or working with a mentor to improve their work).

Communicating with clarity also means encouraging your team to ask questions. Be transparent, create an open line of communication, and be open to modifying expectations if new information comes to light.

2. Be Consistent

A work team can always spot favoritism. Make sure you’re holding everyone accountable, not just certain team members. There will be times, of course, when some people need a little extra time or assistance to complete a project, but that doesn’t mean they are exempt from expectations. Be fair, but also be consistent.

3. Know When to Make Exceptions

Even if you’ve made your expectations clear, there are times when exceptions are necessary. Use your judgment on this and take all aspects of a situation into account before enacting consequences. If someone shows up late to a meeting because their car broke down while driving their kids to daycare, give that person a little understanding and grace. If, however, that same person is consistently late to meetings, it’s a good idea to sit down with them, discover the root of the problem, and strategize ways to help them become more punctual (perhaps their children’s daycare doesn’t open until later, in which case the solution might be to push back morning meetings by half an hour).

4. Make Sure the Consequences Match the Shortcoming

There is a big difference between turning in an assignment a few hours late and yelling at a customer. If the offense is minor, usually it’s possible to work past it. Sit down with the person, talk about what happened, and come up with a solution, going forward. If the offense is major, you may have to take extreme measures. It is never pleasant to do this, but some actions are inexcusable and go beyond a simple strategy session.

5. Know When to Make Hard Decisions

If someone repeatedly falls short of expectations or makes serious errors that affect the entire team or company, they should know that their job is potentially at stake. If you have tried several different approaches to work through their troubles, they should understand when they’re on their “final chance.” Know when to draw that line in the sand. You can be a compassionate, empathetic leader, and still dole out consequences when necessary. As long as expectations have been clear every step of the way, a probationary period or a dismissal should not come as a surprise.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

Tags: , , , , , ,

We’re back, friends. We’ve all made one more trip around the sun together and we’re back in the holiday season. In many parts of the world, it is cold and dark (and getting colder and darker!), but there is still much to be thankful for. If you’re reading this, you can be thankful for literacy and for access to an electronic device. If you are indoors, you can be thankful for shelter. If you ate today, you can be grateful for access to food. Most of us can also be thankful for family members and/or friends—those who lift us up, check in, remember our birthdays.

The truth is, most of us have a lot more than we realize. We just don’t always remember what we have or remember to be grateful.

Today, I challenge you to pause and reflect. Think about what went well this year, instead of dwelling on any failures you might have experienced. Think of the people who made a positive impact in your life—even strangers who said a kind word or helped in some way. Think of your favorite moments from this past year—where were you and who were you with? If you’d like to jot some notes about favorite moments or positive experiences from the past year, grab a notebook and pen and start writing!

Don’t you feel better? Isn’t it nice to set aside self-criticism and negativity for a while and focus on all the good that surrounds us?

Reflecting on the positive aspects of life should not be reserved for once a year, and yet we tend to throw all our gratitude energy into Thanksgiving. Why not spread it out? Why not carry a feeling of gratitude with us all year round?

Some people do try to live a life of gratitude, and those people, in my experience, are some of the happiest and most compassionate people I know. Instead of letting others’ negative actions or comments weigh them down, they “let it slide” and move on. Instead of getting tripped up by bumps in the road, they get into problem-solving mode.

My wish is that we will all learn to be a bit more gentle and forgiving with ourselves and others. I wish we would spend more time focusing on the rainbow, instead of the rain. By adopting this attitude, even the most difficult paths become possible. Just put one foot in front of the other and start seeing all the good that surrounds you, each and every day.

Happy Thanksgiving.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,

I get it. It’s difficult to maintain your enthusiasm about work/life/everything when things still seem pretty bad. Every day, we’re bombarded with grim news stories and reminded, yet again, of how dire things are for the planet and for people on all corners of the earth. Plus, many of us are still working from home and trying to balance work and life (kid’s soccer games, doctor’s appointments, keeping a clean house, etc., etc.) as best we can. It can all feel…overwhelming. So how can we possibly wrangle our emotions and convince ourselves that we’re happy or energized?

Well, here’s the thing about emotions: Even if you have to fake a certain emotion for a while, you’ll eventually feel it.

Before I explain, let me offer one important caveat: This advice does not pertain to people struggling with depression or other serious medical conditions. It is meant for those who are simply overwhelmed, feeling a little listless, or could use an energy boost.

That said, let me explain the concept of “fake it until you feel it.”

Essentially, when you want to feel a certain emotion—joy, confidence enthusiasm—do your best to mimic that emotion, and you will eventually genuinely feel it. Amy Cuddy suggests standing in a “power pose” for a few minutes before going into a big meeting to boost your confidence. Similarly, if you’re feeling a little low and want to boost your happiness, smile! Feel your face brighten and your body lift.

This advice isn’t just a “nice idea.” It’s rooted in neuroscience. According to psychologist Michael Schreiner, “…the barrier between external reality and internal reality is basically nonexistent. For example, scans have shown that you can feel happy and therefore smile, or just contort your face into the shape of a smile whether you feel happy or not, and your brain will respond the same way, releasing the same chemicals.” In short, it is usually possible to trick your brain into feeling whatever you wish to feel.

And that is powerful. It means your emotions are somewhat in your own hands.

So, what to do with this newfound knowledge?

First of all, understand that you have power and control. Your emotions are your own, and you can bend them to your will. Once you realize that, you can begin to “fake it until you feel it.” Smile when you’re having a lousy day. Act energized even when you’re feeling drained. Exude confidence even when you’re feeling timid. By putting your best foot forward and simply trying, you spark something in your brain. You begin to think that maybe (just, maybe!) things aren’t so bad. And you begin to gradually feel better.

This is all part of establishing a healthy emotional pattern. It may not be easy at first to get into a healthy, positive mindset, but the more you practice, the easier it will be. So, practice! Make a concerted effort to feel more joyful, positive, enthusiastic, or confident and see if you can trick your brain into actually embracing (not just faking!) these emotions.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,