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“Creating Successful Leaders”

February 1, 2023 Dealing with Frustrations in the Workplace (productively!)

We can become frustrated for any number of reasons—the car won’t start, a family member is stirring up drama, or the person at the front of the checkout line is arguing about the price of each item in their shopping cart. That’s life. And, unfortunately, the workplace is not immune from these everyday frustrations.

However, in most workplaces, we’re expected to mask or ignore our frustrations. This doesn’t make them go away, of course, it simply buries them. And if you continually bury your frustrations, those feelings might bubble up at inopportune times.

So, what to do?

First of all, it’s important to recognize when you’re feeling frustrated. If you feel your temperature rising or your body start to clench (the physiological effects of our fight-or-flight instinct), or if you feel on the verge of shouting, those are good signs you’re dealing with frustration. By recognizing your frustration in the moment, you can then deal with it.

Once you acknowledge your frustration, you can choose to face it in a few different ways. Try any or all of the following:

Take a Break

Step away from the situation, take a few deep breaths, and clear your head. Even taking one or two minutes can be helpful. If you’re in a meeting, you might take a break to use the restroom or drinking fountain. Or, you might simply tune out the meeting for a few seconds to collect your thoughts.

Take Deep Breaths

Studies have shown that deep breathing can help lower your heart rate and alleviate feelings of stress and anger. If you’re in a meeting or intense conversation, focus on your breath and let your body relax by taking a few deep breaths.

Talk to a Trusted Colleague

Talking to a colleague about the situation can help you understand the situation better, gain perspective, and even find a solution to your problem. Just remember to be open and honest with your colleague and refrain from gossiping.

Reframe Frustration

Sometimes frustrations can crop up if you are dealing with a difficult situation or something you’ve never encountered before. In those cases, try reframing your frustration as a challenge or an opportunity. This is your chance to rise to the occasion, learn a new skill, and come up with an innovative solution.

Practice Self-Compassion

No one is perfect — we all make mistakes. So, when frustration arises at work, try to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’ll be better equipped to handle similar situations in the future.

By learning to recognize, address, and manage frustration in the workplace you can avoid explosive outbursts and unhealthy situations. Remember to stay calm, recognize the problem, and practice self-compassion.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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January 25, 2023 Earning Respect Starts with Respecting YOURSELF

Have you ever been in a room with someone who commanded respect? They spoke in a self-assured way, and held themselves with confidence. When this person said something, people listened and took their ideas seriously. They seemed to be the very embodiment of confidence.

That self-assured person was probably able to command the respect of others because they respected themselves. When you show yourself a bit of self-love and appreciation, you demonstrate that you’re worthy of respect.

In short, respect starts with YOU. Before you can earn respect from other people, you need to learn to respect yourself. Respect is about understanding your own worth and appreciating your own values. This doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Everyone has flaws, but the way you handle those flaws clearly demonstrates whether you respect yourself or not.

An insecure or anxious person will dwell on their personal faults, but a person who respects themselves will simply acknowledge their shortcomings (if necessary) and move on.

To start building personal respect, try any or all of the following 6 steps:

1. Start improving your self-esteem.

Take some time to recognize your good qualities and accomplishments. Think of how capable you are of achieving your goals, and how you can use your strengths to benefit yourself and others.

Once you’ve built up your self-respect, you can work on expressing it outwardly. Speak positively about yourself and show gratitude for the successes and accomplishments you’ve achieved. Be proud of who you are!

2. Know your limits.

Respect yourself by recognizing your limitations and being honest about your capabilities. If you know you don’t have the time or capacity to take on a project, say “no.” If you’re tired of answering emails after hours, draw a line in the sand and stick to your policy. (Read more about setting healthy boundaries.)

3. Seek meaningful relationships.

Prioritize relationships that are supportive, positive, and beneficial. Respect yourself by rejecting interactions that don’t serve you emotionally.

4. Find your own happiness.

People who respect themselves don’t rely on the approval of others. Instead, they seek out their own sources of happiness and satisfaction. Define your own values and work to live according to them.

5. Make healthy choices.

Respect yourself by making choices that are in your best interest. You don’t always have to say “yes” to be liked, and you don’t have to please everyone. Reject things that aren’t in alignment with your objectives, values, or vision.

6. Forgive your mistakes.

Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay! Respect yourself by not getting too bogged down by mistakes or failures. An essential part of respecting yourself is being kind to your mistakes and being willing to learn from them.

In conclusion, respect starts with YOU. Show yourself respect, and others will follow suit. Learn to accept yourself, practice self-love, and set boundaries that protect your own well-being. When you start to respect yourself, others will take notice and show you the same respect in turn.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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January 18, 2023 How to Capture Your Best Ideas with Note-Taking Apps

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea? Or thought of something you needed to do as soon as you stepped into the shower? Or had a poignant thought in the middle of a Zoom meeting, but didn’t want to interrupt the flow?

And then…the thought left your head. No matter how hard you tried to recall your brilliant idea, you could not.

This happens to me, and I’m guessing we’ve all experienced something similar. One way to capture these fleeting ideas is through note-taking apps.

That may sound simple (and it is), but the trick is getting into a note-taking habit. If this isn’t something you’ve done, you’ll have to train yourself to recognize when you’ve had a poignant thought, pause, and jot down the note. Tiago Forte, author of Building a Second Brain, says that it helps to view ourselves as “givers of notes to our future selves.” In a three-minute interview by Daniel Pink, Forte describes the benefits of note-taking apps and suggests a number of different apps to try, including:

Another advantage of note-taking apps is that they can keep all your thoughts organized in a single place. Instead of sifting through folders, documents, emails and tabs to find information, everything can be collected into one central hub. Plus, you can use the search feature to quickly identify what you’re looking for.

In a nutshell: using note-taking apps can help capture ideas and keep you organized. It’s a great way to grab ahold of those momentary flashes of brilliance and record them. You never know when your next big idea will strike!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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