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“Creating Successful Leaders”

December 19, 2012 How “The Gift of the Magi” Still Resonates Today

Many of you are probably familiar with “The Gift of the Magi,” a classic Christmas story which beautifully illustrates the true meaning behind holiday gift-giving.

In the story, Jim and Della Dillingham Young, a young couple hard-pressed for cash struggle to find one another the perfect Christmas gift. With only $1.87 in hand, Della embarks on a mission into town to come up with the means to buy a chain for her husband’s prized watch, which is a family heirloom. In order to do this, she must sacrifice her most valued possession: her long, beautiful hair. So, she cuts it off, sells it, and uses the money to buy Jim a platinum fob chain. Meanwhile Jim, also short on money, decides to sell this very watch so that he can buy Della an expensive set of hair clips. I’m sure I don’t need to explain the irony of the situation!

What a surprise it must have been for poor Jim and Della to learn that they gave up what they valued most to provide gifts that could no longer be used! Yet after their initial shock, the two see the love behind their sacrifices, realizing that this is their most valuable possession.

I feel this story hits closer to home these days. Frugality has become a widely-shared value as a result of the economic recession. We can relate to Jim and Della’s desire to give nice gifts on a shoestring budget. Maybe you’ve similarly gone out of your way, making a huge sacrifice, to give a gift to a loved one.

On a purely material level, Jim and Della’s sacrifices proved to be worthless. They could have chosen to see their situation as a double-loss, as tragic, as a foolish mistake. Yet they did not. They saw past the superficiality of the gifts themselves in stark contrast to the realness of their love. It showed them that they didn’t need prized possessions to experience joy.  And I’m sure that if Jim and Della were real people, they’d remember that Christmas as one of their most precious times together.

You may have less “stuff” than you once did. Perhaps your bank account has dwindled. It might be tough, or just not possible, to get that expensive, “perfect” gift this year. But this season, I think we should reflect on this: are we rich in love? In family? In passions and pursuits? This is what matters, as “The Gift of the Magi” so beautifully portrays.

Have a blessed, loved-filled Holiday!

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December 12, 2012 Intentional Holiday Planning (So You Can Focus On What’s Really Important)

Piggybacking on last week’s post on thankfulness during the holiday bustle, this week I want to talk about being intentional this season. By that, I mean you should decide ahead of time what you and your family truly love about the holidays and make a point to make your traditions, activities, or parties truly count.

There are three great ways to accomplish this:

1. Limit your holidays to a few simple, yet meaningful activities. Perhaps this means you sit down with the family and decide on a list of things everyone loves about the season. Focus on activities that encourage community and bonding. And keep it simple!

2. Say no! This is a really just an extension of the first point. There are countless Christmas brunches, holiday parties, caroling groups, baking sessions and extended family reunions to attend. Remember: you are not obligated to do it all, nor should you! If you feel that you’re in over your head this season, it’s a good sign that you have over-committed yourself. I’ve found that my holidays are much worse when I’m too active; things become more about getting everything done and making every gathering on time, and less about the joy in baking, or the pleasure in reuniting with old friends or extended family.

3. Be adaptable. Many people fall into the “trap of tradition” during their holidays. I’m not saying that tradition is bad; in fact, I love having traditions! The “trap” I’m talking about refers to people who feel that they must recreate the same Christmas or Hanukkah year after year, and that if they don’t, they’ve somehow failed. Remember: every tradition started when a person thought of a new way to celebrate. Feel free to wander off the path of tradition, and embrace the inevitable hiccups or botched plans that are bound to occur in the midst of the hectic holidays. Who knows, maybe a so-called “botched” old tradition will become your most memorable new tradition!

This holiday season, don’t stretch yourself too thin.  Be intentional; be thoughtful.  Focus on what really matters: friends, family, and communion. All your holiday activities–baking cookies, decorating the tree, planning a family gathering, or even shopping–are all meant to enrich your relationships with those around you, and the activities themselves are meaningless without this dynamic.

Keep in mind that your holidays don’t have to be “just right”! If you’re surrounded by loved ones and engaged in what you love to do, then your holidays are exactly as they should be.

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December 5, 2012 Thankfulness: The Antidote to Holiday Stress

Well, Thanksgiving is over and the Holiday season has kicked into full gear. Stores are playing Christmas music nonstop, Starbucks has switched their cups over to their holiday color scheme, Christmas lists cover the front of refrigerators everywhere, and for those of us who live in Minnesota, we’re beginning to experience that familiar, tundra-like weather our state is known for.

Holidays are meant to be relaxing, warm and joyful; a time to reflect and commune with friends and family. But for most of us, stress is a big factor in preparing for the holidays, which makes it difficult to keep the whole point in sight.

I think thankfulness is a great antidote to holiday stress. Yes, Thanksgiving has passed, but does that mean we should reserve feeling thankful for our blessings to just one day?

Of course not!

As you take on the tasks of coordinating dinners with relatives, filling up the calender with baking, shopping, cleaning and decorating, keep the word “thankful” at the front of your mind. You have a home to decorate. You have friends and family to be with. You have a year’s worth of trials, challenges and victories to share with those you love.

Perhaps you read this blog because you’ve had trouble with either finding a job or with finding joy in the job you have. If so, maybe the holiday season for you is a time to gain perspective. Life can be trying, but with every failure comes new-found strength and wisdom. There is always opportunity, even in these tough times. And we should be thankful for everything we have, no matter the circumstances.

And believe me, I’m no expert on this. I’m not immune to holiday stress. But I’ve made a point to tell myself, “I don’t have to pick up my son from the airport, I get to.” Replacing the word “have” with “get” is a simple, yet effective way to change my attitude from stressed to thankful. With everything I do in preparation, I try to say, “I’m thankful for the chance to give gifts of love to my friends and family. I’m thankful for the opportunity to open my home to loved ones and provide a warm and happy space. I’m thankful for this time to reflect and grow as I look back on the year’s accomplishments and shortcomings.”

And you know what? I truly am thankful for these things. It’s just a matter of reminding myself of this, instead of getting lost in the distraction of the holiday bustle. When I dwell on my gratitude, I find that my stress and anxiety diminish, enabling me to embrace the true holiday spirit.

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