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“Creating Successful Leaders”

December 28, 2012 Making New Years Resolutions?

We’ve almost wrapped up 2012, and 2013 is quickly approaching. Consequently, New Years resolutions are on many of our minds. Have you made any? If you haven’t, that’s okay. In fact, I think we tend to make resolutions just to feel better about ourselves, which isn’t the best strategy for resolving to make changes.

If you do decide to make resolutions for the coming year, I’d like you to keep a few things in mind:

1. Keep your resolutions attitude-oriented, not goal oriented. This isn’t to say you can’t make goals and strive to achieve them. However, bad habits are usually the result of an underlying attitude about life. In the same way, healthy lifestyles don’t appear out of thin air, but are a reflection of a good life outlook. If you find it hard to keep up with your resolutions, try resolving to maintain a certain attitude this year. Perhaps you tend to view things negatively. Or maybe you don’t like confronting problems head-on. Both of these attitudes result in behaviors that most of us try to avoid: laziness, procrastination, defeatist-thinking, inability to follow-through, etc. Negative behaviors such as these can be more successfully tempered if we get to the root of the problem by changing our attitudes.

2. Be realistic. “This year, I’m going to triple my income.” “For 2013, I won’t make a single mistake at work.” “Even though I’ve never done it before, I’m going to learn how to climb mountains and set the world record for time it takes to scale Mount Everest.”

If these are the types of resolutions you’re planning for the new year, you may want to avoid making resolutions altogether. Although growth comes from pushing yourself past your comfort zone, there is always a cap on how much is possible. Setting goals that live outside the realm of possibility will only discourage you.

Instead, set goals that are simple. If you would like to eat better, for example, it’s okay to start with small modifications to your diet. With anything, being successful with the small stuff will give you the momentum to move on to more difficult goals. After slow, steady progress, you’ll see dramatic changes. Which leads me to my final tip…

3. Life changes (resolutions included) work best as incremental steps. If you decide to start running, you’re not going to remain at 5 miles a day starting January. You’ll naturally become faster and able to run farther distances. Any life change should work in this way. Begin with an end-game in mind, and take small, manageable steps to get there.

If your attitude is positive, your goals realistic, and if you’ve implemented a step-by-step process, I think you’ll do great with making any changes you feel are needed in your life. Remember, it’s not a competition, it’s not about looking good to other people, it’s about you taking ownership of your life and your desires.

I’m so excited to keep up the work with you all as we head into 2013.

Happy New Year!

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December 19, 2012 How “The Gift of the Magi” Still Resonates Today

Many of you are probably familiar with “The Gift of the Magi,” a classic Christmas story which beautifully illustrates the true meaning behind holiday gift-giving.

In the story, Jim and Della Dillingham Young, a young couple hard-pressed for cash struggle to find one another the perfect Christmas gift. With only $1.87 in hand, Della embarks on a mission into town to come up with the means to buy a chain for her husband’s prized watch, which is a family heirloom. In order to do this, she must sacrifice her most valued possession: her long, beautiful hair. So, she cuts it off, sells it, and uses the money to buy Jim a platinum fob chain. Meanwhile Jim, also short on money, decides to sell this very watch so that he can buy Della an expensive set of hair clips. I’m sure I don’t need to explain the irony of the situation!

What a surprise it must have been for poor Jim and Della to learn that they gave up what they valued most to provide gifts that could no longer be used! Yet after their initial shock, the two see the love behind their sacrifices, realizing that this is their most valuable possession.

I feel this story hits closer to home these days. Frugality has become a widely-shared value as a result of the economic recession. We can relate to Jim and Della’s desire to give nice gifts on a shoestring budget. Maybe you’ve similarly gone out of your way, making a huge sacrifice, to give a gift to a loved one.

On a purely material level, Jim and Della’s sacrifices proved to be worthless. They could have chosen to see their situation as a double-loss, as tragic, as a foolish mistake. Yet they did not. They saw past the superficiality of the gifts themselves in stark contrast to the realness of their love. It showed them that they didn’t need prized possessions to experience joy.  And I’m sure that if Jim and Della were real people, they’d remember that Christmas as one of their most precious times together.

You may have less “stuff” than you once did. Perhaps your bank account has dwindled. It might be tough, or just not possible, to get that expensive, “perfect” gift this year. But this season, I think we should reflect on this: are we rich in love? In family? In passions and pursuits? This is what matters, as “The Gift of the Magi” so beautifully portrays.

Have a blessed, loved-filled Holiday!

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December 12, 2012 Intentional Holiday Planning (So You Can Focus On What’s Really Important)

Piggybacking on last week’s post on thankfulness during the holiday bustle, this week I want to talk about being intentional this season. By that, I mean you should decide ahead of time what you and your family truly love about the holidays and make a point to make your traditions, activities, or parties truly count.

There are three great ways to accomplish this:

1. Limit your holidays to a few simple, yet meaningful activities. Perhaps this means you sit down with the family and decide on a list of things everyone loves about the season. Focus on activities that encourage community and bonding. And keep it simple!

2. Say no! This is a really just an extension of the first point. There are countless Christmas brunches, holiday parties, caroling groups, baking sessions and extended family reunions to attend. Remember: you are not obligated to do it all, nor should you! If you feel that you’re in over your head this season, it’s a good sign that you have over-committed yourself. I’ve found that my holidays are much worse when I’m too active; things become more about getting everything done and making every gathering on time, and less about the joy in baking, or the pleasure in reuniting with old friends or extended family.

3. Be adaptable. Many people fall into the “trap of tradition” during their holidays. I’m not saying that tradition is bad; in fact, I love having traditions! The “trap” I’m talking about refers to people who feel that they must recreate the same Christmas or Hanukkah year after year, and that if they don’t, they’ve somehow failed. Remember: every tradition started when a person thought of a new way to celebrate. Feel free to wander off the path of tradition, and embrace the inevitable hiccups or botched plans that are bound to occur in the midst of the hectic holidays. Who knows, maybe a so-called “botched” old tradition will become your most memorable new tradition!

This holiday season, don’t stretch yourself too thin.  Be intentional; be thoughtful.  Focus on what really matters: friends, family, and communion. All your holiday activities–baking cookies, decorating the tree, planning a family gathering, or even shopping–are all meant to enrich your relationships with those around you, and the activities themselves are meaningless without this dynamic.

Keep in mind that your holidays don’t have to be “just right”! If you’re surrounded by loved ones and engaged in what you love to do, then your holidays are exactly as they should be.

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