February 27, 2013 Take Another Look At Your Weak Points
The fact is, you have strengths. But you also have weaknesses that can get in the way of your goals. I’ve talked a lot about the importance of finding your strengths and developing the skill of being able to plug these into the world around you.
Today, I want to address your weaknesses.
Remember in high school, when your counselor encouraged you to be “well-rounded?” “Pick up an instrument if you’re an athlete,” they said. “Take up painting if you’ve never done it before.” Essentially, they prompted you to flesh out your world and your experiences.
At a certain point, whether we were in high school or college, we honed in on our strengths. We polished them, trained to be able to apply them and, as a result, our focus was taken away from other potential strengths.
I want to talk about the areas in our lives that we’ve abandoned during our drive toward our strengths. It is true we have strengths and weaknesses, yes, but this does not mean that we shouldn’t expand into other areas of interest.
And I don’t mean just pick up another hobby. Hobbies are great, but I’m thinking a bit bigger here. I’m thinking about treading into the dangerous waters. The places you’ve avoided because they were places that made you uncomfortable.
These are the places that truly test you and spurn growth. Staying attached to one strength or skill-set has its advantages, that’s for sure. You can become one of the best at whatever it is you do well. But in the meantime–and this is the downside–you lose a greater perspective of the world. This one life on this Earth contains an immense amount of opportunity, so why would you stick to one bitty corner the whole time?
You know by now that you’re not good at everything. But that doesn’t give you license to simply throw your hands up and say, “This isn’t my strong point,” every time you encounter a situation that plays to your weak points.
This week, consider things you aren’t so good at, and give them another try. You may surprise yourself; the story goes that Einstein failed math in grade school.
Keep on growing!
Tags: Career Coach Advice, Career Coaching, How to Boost Self-Esteem, How to Change Your Life, Improving Relationships, Life Coaching
February 19, 2013 Leading Through Positive Perception
This past week I attended a seminar given by Melissa DeLay, a communication and business coach, who spoke on the art of persuasive communication. I’ve touched on this topic myself in a past post, but I found her talk especially relevant to my interest in effective leadership.
DeLay stressed the importance of perception, specifically addressing how positive perception allows leaders to be better suited to close deals, increase loyalty and communicate with confidence, even in the most difficult situations.
We often feel pressured to say “yes” or “no”–to commit one way or another, she says, and this ultimately has an adverse effect on our productivity and personal happiness in the long run. Instead of hastily agreeing to a project, DeLay suggests we internalize what she calls “magical phrases,” which help accomplish the following:
1. They Buy Time. You’re not forced to decide on the spot when confronted with a proposal. These phrases give you a chance to weigh your options without committing prematurely.
2. They Defuse The Situation. In “sticky” situations that may fall anywhere between personal disagreements or declining on a proposal, magical phrases enable you to neutralize the situation.
3. They Make You Look Good. You aren’t committing to something and then going back on it later. You are in control.
So what are these “magical phrases” Ms. DeLay is talking about?
At their core, these phrases all contain three characteristics: They are authentic, considerate, and objective.
As a way to turn someone down, for instance, she offers this phrase: “I don’t see a match between what you’re focused on and what I’m focused on. I’m going to have to decline your offer.” Saying this shows that you understand and have thought the offer over, thereby demonstrating consideration. It shows that you’ve tried to be as objective as possible, in that you are attempting to distinguish between your focus and the focus of the individual making the offer. And, because it clearly states up front good reasoning for the decline, the statement expresses authenticity. In other words, even though you aren’t being rude, you aren’t sugar coating it either.
Other “magical phrases” DeLay shared during her talk:
“Let me give that some thought. I don’t want to make a hasty decision.”
“I’m deeply concerned about this because…”
“I don’t care to speculate; what I can say is…”
Each of these examples fulfills the core characteristics of the magical phrase: they are each authentic, considerate, and objective.
What struck me is the fact that in positions of leadership, we are often forced to juggle the roles of being mentor, manager, friend, employer, “bad guy,” and the list goes on. It is easy to feel trapped between these roles, not sure which one should be worn at what time. But DeLay’s “magical phrases” embody the basis of strong leadership, in that they are consistent, honest and transparent.
Tags: Career Coach Advice, Career Coaching, Confident Interviewing, Delegation, How to Boost Self-Esteem, Improving Relationships, Lifelong Learning
February 13, 2013 Leading As A Mentor
It comes as no surprise to me that businesses and organizations of all types have set up mentorship programs to increase meaningful relationships among the members of their teams. Why? Because mentoring is one of the most powerful, effective forms of leadership.
Yet I’ve noticed that many are hesitant to adopt the role of mentor. They may feel that they aren’t good enough teachers, or that they lack the confidence to take ownership of their skill sets.
The truth is we’re all mentors, whether we know it or not. And while we may not have fully developed this trait, we all possess the potential to become effective mentors and thus, great leaders.
Mentors Lead By Example
In an article from The Journal of Leadership, educational consultants John C. Kunich and Richard I. Lester detail some key aspects of strong mentoring.
A mentor must behave at all times, both publicly and privately, as if the protégé were the mentor’s shadow.
I touched on this in last week’s post, but it’s worth noting here again, because mentoring goes beyond the workplace. Even in your life outside of work, when people might not be watching, you must stay consistent with your values. At the end of the day, good leadership relies upon a life of integrity. When you take a protégé under your wing, you give them clearance to assess your actions. Don’t take this lightly! It’s a big responsibility, yes, but it’s also immensely rewarding to be able to show your mentoree the ropes simply by doing the work you do best.
Mentors Share Their Networks
One of the greatest resources an “old head” owns is a network of people who can help cut through the usual tangle of red tape and quickly obtain the desired result.
Networking in general relies upon sharing contacts and leads, so what better way to give your protégé a head start than equipping them with contacts early on in the mentoring process? Set them up with meetings or informational interviews, give out contact information, or hand them one of your friend’s business cards. I’m sure you can think of people in your life who’ve let you into their already-established network, and I’m just as sure that you appreciate that they did.
Mentors Set Goals And Instill The Value Of Goal-Setting
It should become apparent to the protégé that there are significant differences between workable goals on the one hand and pleasant but less reality-based dreams, hopes, or wishes on the other.
Because great leaders are able to transform bold visions into reality through the implementation of planning and goal-setting, as a mentor you must also stress the importance of this skill, and work with your protégé on developing goals for themselves. A good way to do this is to guide them through the process of differentiating between wishes and workable goals. Early on, get a feel for what your mentoree hopes and dreams for. Have them transfer their dreams into workable goals, and write out a long term program with them to get there. With you there as an adviser and a guide, your mentoree will learn that visions truly can become reality, but only through long term planning, consistency and gradual steps.
Throughout the next few weeks I’ll continue to offer insight into the value of powerful leadership and mentoring, so stay tuned, and have a great week!
Reference
Kunich, John C. and Lester, Richard I. “Leadership and the Art of Mentoring: Tool Kit for the Time Machine.” Journal of Leadership 1-2: (2001) 118, 125, 126.
Tags: Leadership
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