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“Creating Successful Leaders”

October 9, 2013 Being Authentic Doesn’t Mean Telling Everyone Your Life Story

Authenticity is all the rage these days. Businesses are adjusting their workplaces and daily operations in order to accommodate the demand for authentic relationships, business practices and job responsibilities that prospective employees and veteran workers alike are calling for.

I think this is great.  We all need authenticity in our lives, of which our work is a big part. What’s more, a business based on genuine relationships doesn’t just make for more fulfilled workers, it makes for better business.

However, I’ve noticed that some people seem to think that authenticity in their work relations means sharing everything to everyone, all the time. When working with clients, I’ve heard things like, “Margaret, they asked me what I really thought, and I knew it would hurt their feelings if I told them, but I was just being authentic!”

I think this person was trying to demonstrate how they were transparent and honest, even when it was uncomfortable. But being an open book all the time can be burdensome to those around you. You might be perceived as self-involved, even if you really aren’t. You may also lose potential confidantes if you tend to talk openly about other people. Your intention is surely noble, but the way it comes across may do more harm than good.

The mistake behind this approach to authenticity is the assumption that your most unfiltered gut feelings are your true self. While they certainly are part of what makes you you, remember that it is normal and natural to modify your behavior in different situations. This isn’t betraying who you really are, or wearing a fake version of yourself at all! We are complex beings, and have many layers of “self” that are each a part of us.

Authenticity, then, is striving to be your best self for each situation. To do this, you need:

1. Self-awareness. Be aware of your feelings and opinions, and take them seriously. You will have to stand up for your beliefs at some point, and it is often a very hard thing to do. But also be prepared to be wrong, to change your mind, to feel differently about something as time progresses. Part of self-awareness is knowing your own limits.

2. Presence. Be aware of your surroundings, engaged in the present situation before you. A present person is aware of others and their feelings, and is less inclined to become self-involved or unintentionally hurtful.

3. Tact. The 80-20 rule works wonders. Of all the thoughts you have, only about 20 percent of them need to be said. Another good rule: pause, sleep on it and deal with it tomorrow. If you feel the need to share something potentially hurtful, wait a day. More often than not, the issue resolves itself. If not, you’ll at least have a day’s worth of consideration in the bag and you’ll be better prepared to tactfully handle the situation.

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October 2, 2013 Author Ken Blanchard on Collaboration

Even if you’re an introvert, there comes a time for everyone where their own brain needs an outside boost for generating ideas. Author and management expert Ken Blanchard gives us a few of his experiences that showed him the power of working alongside others. It’s only a 16 minute talk, and well worth the watch.

A few quick takeaways from the talk:

1. As Blanchard puts it, “no one of us is as smart as all of us.” A team of diverse minds will always outdo a lone wolf. This isn’t just because of more manpower, but because each individual brings a unique perspective and voice, making for a much deeper product.

2. Collaboration isn’t always an instant success. You may have trouble at the get-go trying to get things done, especially if you’re a new team. You may also feel that your best ideas come when you’re on your own. Don’t get discouraged if collaboration seems unproductive at first. In fact, it is productive even at the “worst” meetings. Just by being around a group of people united behind a project, a seed will have been planted in your mind that wasn’t there before the collaboration began. And if you are one of those lone wolf idea-generators, you can use the time in between meetings to ponder and come back to the team rejuvenated.

3. Be open to all types of collaboration. In my experience, the best collaborations aren’t planned. As long as you have an open mind and an ear to the ground for potential projects, you’ll be surprised by all the opportunities you never knew were all around you.

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September 25, 2013 On Taking Risks

Looking back on your experience to-date, how much has your life gone as planned? Did everything line up for you in the exact way you were hoping it would? Can you honestly say your life has been completely in your control?

If you’re anything like the vast majority of us, hindsight probably reveals how little you actually predicted and controlled in your life. And this isn’t a bad thing. Opportunities in life seem to present themselves to you on their own timescale.

With this in mind, taking a risk is a smart move long term. Why, you ask?

1. Opportunities abound for the person who takes a risk. An employer is much more impressed by someone who dives into the unknown, and word will spread quickly about your willingness to venture into new territory. This will snowball and provide for you many more opportunities.

2. Failures are temporary, while regrets linger. “When speaking to people in their forties and beyond, many tell me that if they could do their career over again, they’d have taken more risks, settled less and spoken up more often,” writes Margie Warrell in this Forbes article. It is always better to have tried and faltered than to have never gone for it.

3. You’re probably overestimating the odds against you. Warrell points out that we tend to magnify the negative consequences in our minds, to the point where we no longer think about positive outcomes, which makes for a warped view of reality.

4. As a rule, you are capable of more than you think you are. This is probably a result of having been conditioned early on to always be modest. But it’s okay to recognize your strengths and feel confident about them. And you’ll never know your ability until you take risks.

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