March 18, 2015 Margaret’s Guide to De-Stressing Communication
When I give a presentation on Communication, I always devote a slice of time to the topic of stress as it relates to communication. If you take a moment to consider the situations that can cause stress in your life, you may realize that some of them involve your interactions with others. If you commit to developing a strategy or plan for overcoming the situations that cause stress, you can change your life for the better.
Now, this may not be what you want to hear, but managing stress doesn’t actually have anything to do with straightening out the behavior of others. Instead, it’s all about management of your own emotional state. We can base our stress-reduction action plan on two unwavering facts:
Fact #1: You only have control over yourself—your actions and your emotions.
Fact #2: People will continue to be, well, PEOPLE. Their actions are completely beyond your control, and often reflect a perspective, rationale, and behavioral preference different from your own.
With the reality that you can only control yourself in mind, consider the following pointers for improving your daily communication:
- Recognize the situations that stimulate your energy. When are you most comfortable? When do you perform at your best? Seek out these situations and find ways to alter or eliminate the situations that bring you down.
- Be consistent in what you do to control stress. Once you’ve identified a cause of stress and created an action plan, be persistent in your new habit. If you decided to reorient your role during the weekly meeting, build a short reminder of your new habit into that morning’s routine.
- Be authentic in your emotional expression. Nothing can wreak havoc on your emotional state worse than a misleading façade. Until you’re honest with yourself and others about what’s tough for you, you won’t escape the stress and dread of the situation.
- Combat the “If only she/he would…” reaction. Remember facts 1 and 2? Instead of blaming others for your stress or feelings of frustration, realize that the best way to avoid feeling this way in the future is to ask yourself, what can I do to avoid feeling this way in the future? Whether it’s altering your own expectations, resolving not to feel so deeply about an issue, or finding a way to circumvent the scenario that created the communication issue in the first place.
- Oftentimes stress in communications simply comes down to differing communication styles. Instead of jumping to conclusions of ill will or incompatibility, make the effort to observe how others listen and speak, and match your own style of communication with the person to keep them engaged, interested, and trusting.
Dedicate yourself to developing a plan. Learn from each new experience and looks for areas for improvement. If you’re interested in learning more tools for de-stressing your life and improving communication, feel free to send an email or phone call in my direction!
Tags: communicate effectively at work, communicate with co-workers, de-stress communication, stressful communication
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Discussions, Thrive at Work
March 11, 2015 Finding Your Inner Garden
Are you stir crazy? Ready for spring? Ready to walk around in sandals and shorts again? You’re not alone! This time of year tends to make people antsy and irritable and that kind of attitude can cross over into the workplace. But how to fight the late-winter agitation? How can you possibly be productive when you’re feeling so tense?
One solution is to spend a few minutes each day in your “inner garden.”
By now, most people accept that meditation is a great way to calm the mind, release stress, and get us focused for the rest of the day, but many of us think we’re too busy for such “fluff” like meditation. We’re Americans! We’re trained to soldier through the workday without pausing to think about ourselves or our mental wellbeing.
I encourage you to pause.
When you’re feeling wound-up or things aren’t quite going your way, dedicate a few minutes to yourself. Find a quiet space in your workplace, close the door, and picture yourself sitting in a beautiful garden. A warm breeze is playing on your cheeks; you’re surrounded by fragrant blooms of red and purple and yellow. Just let yourself sit and be restful—do NOT allow your mind to drift to work or the troubles you’ve had that day, and if your mind does wander, gently bring it back to the garden.
If you’re having trouble picturing your “inner garden,” hop online for a few minutes and search for images of “beautiful gardens” or “peaceful gardens.” Then, use one of those images as your focal point as you allow your mind to drift into your garden.
Try building up to ten minutes of meditation time. If that seems like too much at first, start with five minutes. Even though this may not seem like a significant chunk of time, you’ll be amazed at how relaxed and refreshed you’ll feel at the end of it.
I challenge you to visit your inner garden every day this week and see how it helps your attitude and productivity. Until the flowers actually bloom again, I hope this technique will help you relax and rejuvenate so you can take on any challenge the day might offer.
Tags: calm your mind, finding your inner garden, meditation at work, positive thinking in February, relax at work
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
March 4, 2015 Over 40 and On the Job Hunt?
Since we spent the last month talking about Millennials, I thought it was time to flip the coin and address a topic that exclusively effects those in the Baby Boomer generation. (I’m also gathering information about Boomers in the workplace, so if you’d like to participate in my survey, please do so!)
So, you’re 45, 55, or 65 years old and looking for work? Don’t let all the younger faces in the workforce intimidate you or make you feel unworthy of nailing your dream job (it’s never too late!). Instead, freshen up your strategy and approach the job hunt and interview process with optimism and vigor.
Below, I’ve compiled a list of some helpful reminders for the older worker’s job hunt that will help you keep your best foot forward at all times:
> Never forget what you’re worth: Older workers are dependable, have advanced problem-solving abilities, and are just as productive as younger workers
>Stay enthusiastic and excited: No matter what your age, if you come off as exhausted, bored, resentful, or frustrated, you’ll give interviewers a bad impression
> Keep your exchange respectful, no matter your age difference
> Offer examples of your work that demonstrate your creativity
> Emphasize your past loyalty to your company
> Edit your resume: Avoid the “too old” impression by limiting your relevant experience to the past 15 years, excluding graduation dates, and paring down your list of employment experience by saying “5+ years” instead of “30 years.\”
> Share examples of your ability to learn quickly
> Take advantage of your expansive network—it’s still the best way to find work
> Keep all mentioned accomplishments current
> Make sure your dress is up to date, instead of dating you
> Avoid feelings of defeat or apology for your age—this is not a topic that should be on the table during an interview, nor is it relevant to the conversation
> Don’t limit your job search to exactly what you were doing before—consider a career change, why not?
> Don’t mention upcoming retirement hopes
> Stay current with new technology
If you’d like help relaying your skills, interviewing, and branding yourself during the job process, contact me today to learn how I can help.
Tags: baby boomers in the workforce, find work as a senior, interview tips for older workers, older worker job hunt, older workers looking for work
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