April 15, 2015 Dealing with a Negative Co-Worker
Have you ever experienced this kind of situation: You arrive at work, full of motivation and positivity; you’re ready to tackle your projects and get lots of quality work done today. Then, a negative co-worker drops by, begins griping about the office, your boss, the break room, his/her personal life, the weather…and all of a sudden you’re deflated. Your positive attitude has flown out the window and you’re left feeling drained and lethargic. Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, you’ll most likely encounter your fair share of negative people throughout your professional career. But how do you deal with them? How do you prevent them from sucking away your energy and motivation?
Here are five techniques:
1. Offer solutions
Many negative Neds and Nancys just like to complain…and they expect you to just listen. Take the wind from their sails by offering a potential solution to their troubles. If they reject your help, end the conversation by saying, “Sorry. I guess I’m not sure how to help you, then.”
2. Set a time limit
If the negative people in your life like to ramble on and on about their problems, privately set a time limit for how much you can take. After, say, three minutes, jump into their ramblings and say, “I’m sorry things are going so poorly right now, Tracy, but I really need to get back to work. Good luck with everything.”
3. Ask questions
If your negative co-worker tends to exaggerate his problems, set him on the straight and narrow by asking clarifying questions. For example: “Oh, wow, it sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot of extra work lately. How late did you end up staying in the office on Tuesday? And how many projects did the boss send you at the last minute?” Your clarifying questions will likely discourage your co-worker from seeking you out as a passive, sympathetic ear.
4. Seek positive people
You might not always be able to avoid negative people in the office, but you can seek out those with positive attitudes and healthy motivation.
5. Take a step back
If you find yourself being dragged down by negative attitudes, distance yourself from the situation. Find a quiet place in the office and take a few minutes to think about your latest encounter with negativity and why it had such a powerful effect on you. Recognize that you do have the power to separate yourself from negative thinking and continue down your own track. If you discover that others’ negative attitudes are having a profound effect on your work, don’t be afraid to talk over the situation with a trusted supervisor.
Tags: dealing with a negative co-worker, Dealing with a Negative Person, debbie downer, keep it positive
April 8, 2015 Authenticity in the Workplace
In this short video, I talk about what it truly means to be an authentic leader. I address why it’s important to lead with meaning, purpose, and values and how self-awareness comes into play. Don’t forget: your authentic self if great! You don’t have to compromise your values to be a strong, capable leader.
If you’d like a more in-depth study of authentic leadership, my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, has an entire chapter devoted to this topic.
Thanks for watching!
Tags: Authenticity in the workplace, authenticity video, Margaret Smith, the ten-minute leadership challenge, your authentic self
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Better Business, Communication, Leadership, Thrive at Work
April 1, 2015 Are You an Ambivert?
It is easy to pigeonhole people. It’s easy to say, “You’re like this,” “I’m like that,” “You behave like this…” But the effects this type of stereotyping can have on people can damage a person’s confidence or might inhibit their growth. One of the most common ways we think about others is labeling them as an introvert or an extrovert. We generally think of extraverts as boisterous, open, and social and think of introverts as quiet, secretive, and reclusive. But are people really either one thing or the other?
Definitely not. Even the acclaimed psychologist, Carl Jung, identified a third personality type: the ambivert. He said this group is “the most numerous and includes the less differentiated normal man.”
An ambivert is someone who is socially flexible and attempts to strike a balance between extraversion and introversion. Ambiverts adapt to different situations in the way they think is best—either with an introverted or extraverted tilt. Additionally, they often have a healthy emotional balance that extreme extroverts or introverts sometimes lack.
Ambiverts can also be more successful in sales. According to Adam M. Grant, author of the research paper Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage, “Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extraverts or introverts do…Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customers’ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.”
As an Insights® Discovery practitioner, I appreciate the term ambivert. One of the great things about Insights®(a personality and behavioral assessment based on the studies of Carl Jung) is that it takes into account human adaptability and dynamism. We might have good days and bad days; we might react one way at a social gathering and another way in an office setting; we might feel extraverted in some situations and introverted in others. Although, according to Insights®, we may “lead” with a certain personality, we all have the capability to embody other personalities as well. (If you’re curious about how Insights® can lead to better inter-office relationships and improved communication, contact me anytime).
So, what do you think? Are you an ambivert?
Tags: ambiverts and communication, ambiverts and sales, are you an ambivert, Margaret Smith, UXL
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- Posted under Communication, Tips for Improving Interactions
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