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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions

April 26, 2012 How to Modify Your Behavior Effectively

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

The other day I read something about behavior modification that surprised me with its resonance:

Most of us tend to overestimate how much short-term change we’re capable of, but underestimate our long-term potential.

How true is that? Most of us have been guilty of making a huge resolution that we expected to complete in an unrealistically short period of time. And what happens when we don’t see results in the first few weeks? We get discouraged, of course! Conversely, if we look back on all that we’ve changed or done in a year, and we’re blown away at our courage, perseverance, and hard work.

Because I’m a life and career coach, a lot of what I do tackles the challenge of modifying behavior to change a life or professional career for the better. Since I’ve become a certified Insights Discovery Practitioner, guiding behavioral modification has moved even further to the forefront of all that I do. When you’ve experienced the Insights Model, and received your profile, you learn that you have energy preferences and strengths, and these natural callings or habits result in your preferred way of interacting with others.

The other important thing that you learn through Insights Discovery (or coaching) is that you have the ability to identify the communication style and work preferences of everyone around you. And this is an important half of the puzzle—without this, your self-knowledge would be useless—like a jar of jam with no bread, a bike without tires! You improve your self-awareness so that you can modify your behavior to improve your interactions with others and reach your full potential.

Instead of continuing on the same worn path, consider some of the pointers I’ve outlined for using your self-awareness and knowledge of communication styles to improve your career and your life.

Margaret’s Tips for Modifying Your Behavior to Elevate Interactions

> Identify an area for improvement and all of your behavioral habits involved. Take note of the other individuals involved in this interaction and their observed behavioral habits and preferences.

> Clarify what achieving “success” will mean for you in this scenario. What needs to improve, how much, and what will be the measurement of this? Acknowledge that success may not be immediate.

> Recognize that there are always beliefs lurking behind our impressions and interactions. Have the courage to challenge these beliefs by trying a new approach and/or a new interpretation.

> Practice changing your behavior until it happens without having to think about it. Otherwise, you’re likely to lose your better habits and improved interactions.

> When baffled, consult with someone you trust openly, and without argument or response. Sometimes the observations of someone else is not easy to accept, but an outside perspective will help you to graduate beyond the beliefs that are obstructing your path to positive change.

Interested in learning more about how knowledge of yourself and others can be elevated through Insights Discovery, or how Margaret Smith can help you to realize positive change for individuals, teams, organizations, or classrooms? Contact UXL Today.

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March 28, 2012 How to Use Intrinsic Validation to Improve Interactions

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

“Be an opener of doors…”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever met a speaker, Psychologist, and Leadership Coach by the name of Louise Griffith? I had the pleasure of hearing her speak as a keynote at the womEn’s conference this month. Some of her messages about communication really stuck with me because of their clear, simple, and truthful nature. Because I’m still thinking about these messages nearly a month later I’ve decided to pass them on to my readers.

When interacting with others, whether on a very personal or professional level, there are certain ways that we can make them feel respected and accepted. You may not always realize it, but the way you respond to others when they express themselves can very easily make them feel unimportant or shut them down—and you may not even know what it was that you did wrong.

One of Louise’s larger ideas concerned something she called “Intrinsic Validation”. Behind this term is the belief that “the most powerful validation you can give another is to care enough to step into their world and listen without giving advice, feedback, or criticism.”

I don’t know about you, but I find that it is often far too easy to fall out of practicing this skill. Luckily, Louise shared some easy to use and remember tools (in the form of phrases and questions) that help you to continue the practice of intrinsic validation.

Louise outlines four components to improving interactions with and validation of others:

Look for the Good:
Stop yourself when you begin to judge and focus on the good in others instead.

See it, then Say It:
When you see another person’s positive effort or good, make sure to share your appreciation or admiration with them.

Listen for the Doors:
The “doors” are the verbal cues as to what someone is thinking. This is where you create a bridge instead of a wall)

Step into Their World:
We’ve all heard the phrase “step into their shoes” because it works.

Most important were the phrases that we can use as tools to immediately improve interactions:

           Tell me more about that.

           Help me understand what you are experiencing.

           Are you OK?

           What I like about your idea is ________ .

I challenge you to pick one of the phrases above and use it in the coming days. I’m confident that you’ll be astonished at how quickly your interactions with others will deepen and improve.

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March 14, 2012 How to Up Your Odds at a Job Fair

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

Although attending a job fair is not necessarily the fast track to employment, it does improve your chance of making a connection with important individuals and organizations that give you a competitive edge.

Last January the Pioneer Press published an article titled, “Job Fair Require Strategic Approach” that offered some tips that I found particularly helpful for navigating this competitive and sometimes intimidating event.

To improve your odds, always plan ahead by researching the employers who are participating and the types of positions they’re looking to fill. The article’s author, John A. Challenger, reminds job fair attendees that it is “critical to maintain a positive and upbeat attitude throughout the job fair” and that this positive attitude should prevail “despite your frustration with the job market and waiting lines”.

Challenger is the chief executive officer of Challenger, Gray, & Christmas Inc, the global outplacement consultancy that pioneered outplacement as an employer-paid benefit in the 1960s. Here are his top tips for getting what you want out of your job fair:

JOB FAIR TIPS

>> Dress as if you were going to an interview. Wear neat, pressed clothes and shined shoes. Cover tattoos, if possible.

>> Smile: Make your first impression count. Remember your image—I am a professional, I have no problems, I will create no problems, and I will solve all your problems.

>> Be yourself. Don’t play a role, but be your best self.

>> Shake hands. Be enthusiastic. Show interest in the company and the representative. Know what the company does.

>> Sell yourself. Treat this like an interview. Tell the company representative what kind of employee you are, what you can do for a company and give some examples of each.

>> Make sure you understand each company’s application procedure, whether paper or online. Ask for a business card for proper information. Fill out applications completely and neatly. Include a copy of your resume when returning the application.

>> Approach each employer’s table by yourself, not with a clump of friends.

>> Bring plenty of resumes. Put them in a folder or portfolio so they don’t get crushed. Don’t give out your resume right away. Talk to the company representative first.

>> Remember to be positive, prepared, polite, and polished.

Are you currently struggling to navigate the job market or an important career change? I can help.  CONTACT ME TODAY to learn how I guide you as you develop a strategy to showcase your skills and land the position or projects that align to them best.

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