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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Thrive at Work

June 5, 2024 How to Set the Stage for a Tough Conversation (4 Ways)

As a leader, tough conversations are inevitable. There will come a point when you’ll need to deliver some less-than-great news, provide negative feedback, or make a difficult request. And avoiding these types of tough conversations is NOT the answer. In many cases, the more you delay, the more difficult the discussion will be once you eventually have it.

However, it IS possible to effectively set the stage for tough interactions. This will help to soften any difficult blows and provide a safe space for feedback, commentary, and questions. Let’s talk about four ways to set the stage for tough conversations.

Choose an Appropriate Time and Setting

Where and when you decide to meet can make a huge difference. When talking about a sensitive issue, it is best to find a quiet, comfortable, and private place to speak. Make sure to choose a time when both parties will be free from distractions and able to focus on the conversation. This will ensure a more productive and respectful dialogue. By setting the stage appropriately, you create an atmosphere conducive to open communication and problem-solving. Additionally, being mindful of the environment can help create a sense of safety and comfort, encouraging honesty and transparency during tough conversations.

Be Transparent

When inviting someone to engage in a difficult conversation, it is usually best to be transparent and clear about the purpose of the conversation. This transparency will help to avoid confusion and set the right expectations. Clearly stating the reason for the discussion allows both parties to prepare mentally and emotionally. It also establishes trust and shows respect for the other person’s time and feelings. Open communication from the start fosters a more constructive and meaningful dialogue.

Prepare

Before engaging in the conversation, it is essential to prepare yourself for a variety of questions and reactions. Anticipate what the other person might ask or what pushback they might have. Consider different scenarios and prepare appropriate responses. I encourage you to practice out loud in front of a mirror, even if that seems a little odd at the time! It really does help. This preparation will help you stay composed and focused during the conversation. Being mentally ready for various outcomes demonstrates your commitment to handling the tough conversation effectively. Moreover, preparation allows you to convey your message clearly and logically, reducing the chances of misunderstandings or conflicts. Remember, the more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be in navigating challenging discussions.

Commit to Empathy

In my experience, the most productive conversations are ones in which both parties feel that they are listened to, respected, and understood. Make a commitment to enter the conversation with empathy. That means actively listening, asking appropriate questions, and aiming for understanding. Ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued fosters a collaborative environment where tough conversations can lead to growth and improved relationships. By showing empathy, you create a safe space for open dialogue, allowing each person to express themselves honestly and without judgment.

Remember, the goal of these conversations is not only to address challenges but also to strengthen trust and understanding between individuals. Practicing empathy can transform difficult discussions into opportunities for positive change and progress.

While it’s never fun to engage in a tough conversation, it is often necessary to do so in order to clear the air, make positive progress, and/or benefit the organization. By approaching your difficult conversations with empathy and tact, you can create a more positive outcome that leads to growth and understanding.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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May 22, 2024 4 Steps To Find Your Perfect Mentor

With any job, we all rely on guidance from our supervisors and peers to learn the ropes and develop new strategies for accomplishing tasks. If you’re starting at a new company, taking on a new role, or endeavoring to learn new skills, a mentor can be an incredibly valuable asset.

A mentor (or coach, or guide) can stretch your abilities, introduce you to new people, or connect you with relevant resources. Their experience and expertise are resources as valuable as any skill in your personal toolbox. But finding the right person for the role can be challenging. As you begin your search, you may find a few of these strategies useful:

1. Identify your process and values

As we grow, we try out and exchange work habits and strategies to make ourselves more effective. Finding a mentor who speaks to you starts with understanding yourself and how you work. What are the values that drive you? How do they translate to the type of work you do and which projects or responsibilities you’d like to take on?  What are the pain points and blind spots of your working style that others may need to accommodate for or address? These questions are important to ask and reflect upon when seeking a mentor. Knowing their answers to some degree will help when approaching others for help.

2. Look across disciplines

Everybody brings a unique mix of experience and ability to the table in an organization. A person’s job description doesn’t always tell you everything about the perspective they bring or their ability to teach. If you are worried or intimidated by reaching out to folks in your own department, making connections outside your usual circle and observing how people attack problems may shed a learning light you never considered before.

3. Establish rapport

Mentors are not always our closest friends, but a good mentor will be someone who respects your goals and spends time to observe and understand your learning process. Get to know folks who’ve joined the team before you and communicate your respect for their role and the work they’ve done. If you’re not familiar with these details, friendly chats over lunch or coffee can provide a way to accrue insight casually and over an extended period of time.

4. Develop yourself and network

Professional associations often offer conferences and seminars to learn the ropes of new skills or discuss innovations within a given industry. If you feel like your office lacks the means to provide the guidance you seek, attend trainings and make connections – either with fellow learners or the speakers. Handing out business cards and picking someone’s brain for 15 minutes may be all it takes to find a new teacher.

Finding a mentor isn’t always easy, but the returns for your efforts can be transformative. Keep an open mind, and be honest with yourself if you aren’t getting what you need on the first attempt. If you keep at it, often the right guidance is never too far away . Stay positive and start your search. There’s no time like the present!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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May 15, 2024 No One Listening? 5 Techniques to Be More Persuasive

A version of this blog post was first published in November, 2019.

Do you have trouble getting what you want? Are you often overlooked or not listened to? Do you know a change needs to be made, but you’re having trouble framing your argument?

It sounds like you need to tap into the power of persuasion!

Being persuasive doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being sneaky or underhanded. If you use persuasion in an honest way, it means articulating something so others can see your point of view. Sometimes, you have to be persuasive to make positive changes or advance your career.

How do you become persuasive? Try a few of the following techniques:

1. Prepare

No matter if you’re leading a meeting, having a one-on-one with your boss, or proposing a new idea around the water cooler, it’s necessary to come prepared.

Do your homework, research the ins and outs of your proposal, AND anticipate potential problems or questions others may ask. If you know your stuff, you’ll automatically be more persuasive.

2. Be Confident

When you’re speaking, don’t use words like “I believe” or “I suppose.” Be confident when making a claim. Say it boldly, and people will listen.

Research shows people are more likely to listen to someone who is confident than someone who is an actual expert. Of course, you don’t want to spread false information, but when you do have something to say, say it with confidence!

3. Frame Your Words Carefully

Consider these two sentences, and tell me which is more effective:

“I’d like to be considered for the management position because I’m interested in furthering my career.”

“I’d like to be considered for the management position because I’m interested in new opportunities and challenges.”

The second one, right? These sentences both convey that someone is wishing to be considered for a promotion. Yet the second sentence focuses on personal growth and a desire to learn, while the first seems to say that the person, at the end of the day, is really only in it for themselves.

Before going into a meeting, practice your phrasing in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable delivering it.

4. Utilize Storytelling

Storytelling is a powerful technique for persuasion. People are naturally drawn to stories—by sharing anecdotes or personal experiences, you can make your points more relatable and memorable. Crafting a compelling narrative can help you connect with your audience on an emotional level, making your message more impactful and resonant. Consider weaving storytelling into your communication to effectively engage and persuade others.

5. Know Your Audience

Pay attention and start noticing what matters to people in your office. Do certain topics of conversation keep coming up? Are people interested in family, football, pets, or local music? What values do they seem to have?

Getting to know the people around you is invaluable for building rapport and gaining trust. Ultimately, if others find you easy to talk to and pleasant to be around, you won’t even have to think about being persuasive—people will want to listen to what you have to say.

If you want to make a change, put forth an idea, or simply be heard, it’s a good idea to hone your personal power of persuasion. It may not come easily at first, but with practice, you’ll be a pro!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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