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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Thrive at Work

March 23, 2016 The Worst 4-Letter Word

people-314481_640It’s the thing that holds you back. It stifles growth, discourages you from trying new things, and forces you to stay in a rut, even when you know things should change. It’s the worst 4-letter word of all: FEAR.

Fear is a debilitating force. It pulls you out of the present and into the unknown territory of the future. Don’t waste your time worrying about what might happen. Instead, focus on the present. Look internally and ask yourself some tough questions:

  • How is fear limiting my hopes and dreams? What would I like to accomplish, but am afraid to attempt?
  • Why am I afraid? What’s holding me back from speaking up, making a change, or attempting something new?
  • How can I minimize fear and shift my focus to determination and action?

Acknowledging your fear is the first step to taming it. Confront your obstacles and have confidence that you can and will overcome them.

How can you brush aside your fear and start taking action?

Start small. Do one thing that scares you today–whether that’s talking to a stranger in the grocery line, presenting an idea to a co-worker or boss, or enrolling in a class at your local gym, library, or community center.

Then, as your confidence grows, grow your ambitions. Make an action plan and start mapping out how you’ll follow-through with your goals. Remember to set deadlines for yourself and find an accountability partner (click here for more on effective goal-setting).

REMEMBER: You owe it to yourself to face your fears and work at overcoming them. If you don’t, you’ll never stretch yourself or try new things. You’ll forever wonder, “What if…” Don’t let fear lay claim on your life! Start confronting it today.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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March 9, 2016 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.--Bryant H. McGill

I recently listened to an excellent TED Talk by Celeste Headlee on the art of having a meaningful conversation. Headlee was a radio host and reporter for NPR for several years and used what she learned from interviewing to develop 10 basic conversation principles.

Today, we often talk past or talk over each other. Instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say, we are busy multi-tasking or thinking up a response. Because of this tendency to focus on ourselves instead of on the other half of the conversation, a lot is lost in translation. Headlee’s 10 principles remind us how to fully engage in meaningful conversation and actually learn something from one another. Briefly, her 10 principles are:

  1. Don’t multi-task (be fully present and engaged)
  2. Don’t pontificate (expressing your opinion without any room for discussion only shuts down a conversation instead of opening up a dialogue)
  3. Use open-ended questions
  4. Go with the flow (thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go and focus on what the other person is saying)
  5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know (it’s okay to admit when you don’t know something!)
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs (your experience is not the say. Don’t make this a promotional opportunity for you; instead, listen to what they are saying and respond to that)
  7. Try not to repeat yourself
  8. Stay out of the weeds (don’t bog down your story with irrelevant details)
  9. Listen (This is probably the most important principle!)
  10. Be brief (As Headlee’s sister says, “A good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.”)

Think about these principles as you engage others in conversation today. Be present, ask good questions, and practice active listening.

If you’d like to watch the whole TED Talk (It’s only 12 minutes long), please click on the image below. Happy conversing!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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February 24, 2016 15 Ways to Beat the Winter “Blahs”

winter blues

Yes, it’s still winter. Sorry to break the bad news! If you’re finding it hard to roll out of bed and go to work, you’re not alone. 14 % of people in colder climates suffer from seasonal mood changes, commonly known as winter blues. You might feel tired or lethargic. You might feel uninspired or unmotivated at work. You might feel a sense of directionless or purposelessness.

If you suspect that the cold weather is getting you down (and that your feelings aren’t indicators of a larger problem, like depression or true Seasonal Affective Disorder), there are a few simple tactics you can take to turn things around.

Hang in there! Spring will be here before you know it. In the meantime, take a look at these 15 ways to get inspired and boost your mood.

 

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  1. Write it out

Keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them. Writing is a great release for pent-up emotions.

  1. Practice saying affirmations every morning

Before you get out of bed, focus on your strengths and the positive aspects of your life.

  1. Visit a conservatory

Soak in some actual sun at your local conservatory. The benefit of being in a warm environment among oxygen-giving plants is amazing! Bring a book and stay a while.

  1. Invest in a light box

According to psychologist Stephen Josephson, sitting in front of a light box daily for half an hour to an hour is very effective for improving mood and motivation.

  1. Eat healthy

Although it’s tempting to turn to chocolate and potato chips during the winter months, do your best to eat a clean diet. The nutrients will help increase your energy and focus.

 

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  1. Plan a trip

Even if you can’t take a trip in the near future, it’s lots of fun to plan one. Studies show that oftentimes people actual get more enjoyment from planning their trip than actual going on it!

  1. Make dinner dates with friends

Chances are, your friends need to get out of the house just as much as you do!

  1. Visit the aquarium

Not just for kids! Being around fish and sea creatures is incredibly soothing.

  1. Play host/ess

Plan a dinner party for a few weeks from now and invite a handful of friends. Use your creativity to come up with a great menu, décor, music, and drinks.

  1. Get involved

Volunteer opportunities abound! Find a cause you believe in and put in some hours this month. Start looking on Volunteer Match or on the bulletin board in your local community center.

 

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  1. Connect with co-workers

Today, invite a co-worker to lunch (or coffee) and have a chat. The more positive connections you make at work, the more likely you’ll want to show up.

  1. Personalize your office

Update the family photos you keep at work, hang artwork, make your space you.

  1. Move!

If you’re feeling “blah” during the day, don’t just sit there and stare at your screen. Get up, take a walk, and allow yourself to refocus

  1. Make a list of 5 things you love about your job

Are you having trouble making the list? If so, there may be other issues at hand instead of just the winter blues. My door is always open, if that’s the case.

  1. Make a difference in someone’s day

Every day, look for opportunities to spread kindness. You might do something small, like clean the breakroom coffee pot. Or, you might do something larger, like volunteer to help a co-worker with her project. Not only will you feel good about your actions, you’ll be strengthening your personal brand—never a bad thing.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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