Category Archives: Personal Branding
September 14, 2016 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Although we may not pay attention to it most of the time, there is a constant internal voice that runs through everyone’s head. This is the voice that talks to us when we’re bored, tells us to choose the salad (not the soft pretzel!), and reminds us to not bring up politics around Aunt Mary. This unconscious stream of thought can also lift us up and make us feel confident OR cause us to come crashing down and tell us we’re no good.
Which narrative is running through your head?
For many people, the internal voice can be overwhelmingly negative. In the transformative book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!
Although this method of combatting negative self-talk might make you seem a little loony (back-talking to your “roommate” who isn’t physically there!), Singer claims that it is the first step in taming your negative self-talk problem. He says, “If you want to free yourself, you must first become conscious enough to understand your predicament. Then you must commit yourself to the inner work of freedom…as of right now, your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate; the psyche.”
The main lesson here is to be MINDFUL. Be AWARE of the narrative that runs through your head. Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying and when you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”
Then, repeat. Continue focusing your inner narrative on positive outcomes and you’ll find that it will become second-nature after a while. You’ll begin to be an optimistic person, instead of struggling to become one.
Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging negativity in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: banish negativity, career coach Margaret Smith, embracing positivity, Minneapolis career coach, negative inner voice, negative life narrative, overcome doubt, overcome negative self talk
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August 3, 2016 Networking jitters? Try my 5 point guide
Even if you’re not looking for a new job, networking is still a valuable pursuit. It’s a chance to learn more about your industry, the jobs you didn’t know existed in your field, how to advance your career, or how to start your own business. For some people, networking can feel like shallow interactions that are barely masking the attitude of “what can you do for me?” but this doesn’t need to be the case. With a positive disposition and helpful strategies in place, networking can be the start of a nurturing, collaborative, trustworthy community for you.
Practice your intro
You may not be selling a product or an idea, but in networking scenarios, you need to market your skills and talent. When people ask you about your job title and your pursuits, have a clear, short summary ready to go. Practice it in the mirror or record yourself, if you can; hearing your voice played back can help you determine where to pause or when to punch up your pitch for optimal recollection, for you and your potential contacts.
Set goals for yourself
Networking goals will vary between people and industries, but it is important to set them. It’s far too easy to sweep that type of work under the rug, but setting goals will keep you accountable. Create goals that are achievable: attend at least one networking event within the next month, reach out to three new people in your industry, or schedule a meeting with an existing contact. Once you meet those goals, make new ones.
Treat every encounter as important, because it is
While it is easy to think of networking as a means to a new job, there is more to be gained from these interactions. Don’t dismiss someone because they can’t help you right now: the benefit of continued communication could come around in three months or three years. Keep in mind that they could also introduce you to someone else who needs your skills.
Follow up
After you meet these new contacts, you need to reach out before they start collecting dust. Use the method of communication that works for both of you: phone, email, Skype, or face-to-face. Check in regularly and ask them about what they’re working on, what projects they see for the near future, and the skills and experience needed to complete their work. If your skills don’t align with their needs, you might recommend someone from your network. Consistent, thoughtful communication will hopefully result in contacts thinking of you when relevant opportunities come across their desk.
Bring people together
As you your network grows and you learn about the skills and needs of your contacts, you may realize that one needs the services of the other. This is what networking is all about: helping people connect. Hopefully, they will get a chance to repay the favor: when one of those contacts comes across a job posting or freelance opportunity in your field, you know they will think of you first.
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, don't fear networking, how to network, improve networking skills, learning to network, network minneapolis, network mn, network st. paul, Networking, take advantage of networking, tips for networking
June 8, 2016 Cheers! How to Give a Better Toast
We’ve all been there. Someone stands up or leans over the table to give a toast and it falls absolutely FLAT. Maybe there are too many inside jokes in the toast, or maybe the speaker crosses the line between funny and just plain raunchy. Or, maybe the speaker forgets their lines, fumbles their words, or loses their concentration. Or the microphone cuts out. Or the speaker mumbles. Or no one laughs at the jokes…
The list goes on and on! It makes you wonder why anyone in their right mind would agree to give a toast.
But, fear not. There are just as many ways to give a good toast as to give a horrendous one! The trick is to put a little thought into the occasion and look at it as an honor instead of a burden.
Because I’m a career and life coach, I often help people to deal with difficult or touchy situations with as much finesse, sensitivity, and effectiveness as possible. Being the “Toast-Giver” at your next special event is a perfect time to make an impression and send a message to a group.
How can you ensure that the toast you give during the summer wedding season (or any other season, for that matter) stays the impressive course and avoids turning into a train wreck? Start with these 7 handy tips:
The Toast-Giver’s Survival Guide
What’s Your Subject?
Every toast should have a subject. This should not be difficult to discern—for what reason have you all gathered today? Whether for a holiday party, wedding, graduation, or birthday, the major message of your toast should reflect the event’s specific occasion.
Practice Makes Perfect
If you’re anticipating being called on to make a speech, prepare one ahead of time and practice. Say your speech out loud (you’ll find that the pacing is much different than when you read to yourself) and practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.
Know Your Audience
Always assess the formality of the group and event. Take a cue from others who made toasts or speeches before you and, when in doubt, always keep your comments as respectful and professional as possible.
Don’t Burn the Toast!
When giving a toast, brevity is always key. Avoid causing waves of rolling eyes by sticking to your main message to avoid rambling.
Be Sober
I don’t think I need to paint a picture for you here—it’s pretty obvious what happens when someone misjudges their level of inebriation and subjects a room to their long, blush-inducing speech. If you hope to make a toast, abstain from the sauce until you’re finished.
Ditch the Inside Jokes
If only one or two people understand a reference you make during your toast, you’re alienating everyone else. If you decide to refer to a certain story or event, be sure you frame it properly so that everyone feels included.
Speak From the Heart
Avoid canned quotes or cliché phrases. Instead, be genuine, focus on the positive, and speak from the heart.
Follow these rules and make sure that your toast is remembered for the right reasons!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, champagne toast etiquette, embarrassing toasts, give a better toast, give a memorable toast, give the perfect toast, rules for toasting, UXL career coaching
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